Loyal readers of mine know that sometimes I can be heavy on the hyperbole. I’ve mentioned that a lot of slates are god-awful and horrible and may or may not have told people not to play (cash) on them because of how painful they were. This slate is truly the most god-awful, horrible slate so far in 2018 (there’s the hyperbole!). There, I got it out of the way. Sadly, it may not actually be a bad cash game slate to play, that’s not why it’s bad. It’s bad because it’s the most straightforward thing imaginable. You’re basically looking at a lineup where having a guy at 35% will mean he’s not chalky and he’s your key to victory. You may even end up with a lineup of all guys >50% owned (which brings in the possibility of the comedic hilarity of losing with a lineup where every player you have is owned by a majority of lineups). But, yeah, today should be obvious. Just make the straight forward and blatantly clear plays and use the time you now have to ponder on life. Like how Urban Meyer can get a 3 game suspension when Terrelle Pryor got a 5 game suspension for hawking his bowl rings for tattoos (since he couldn’t afford them because he was an “amateur” whose labor created millions of dollars in value for his employer – I mean “institution” while he was given a “free education”). Too political? Don’t care. And yes, I know, NCAA versus Ohio State. Still don’t care. Abolish college football. Too political? Not my fault. Blame the schedule – this is the stuff that happens when I have free time because there’s simply no need to spend that much time on the slate’s analysis. And furthermore, let me get into the whole thing with Paul Manafort…actually, on second thought, maybe just work on your fantasy football draft list.

On to the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

PITCHERS

Tyler Glasnow, P: $6,300 – Glasnow has been a massive strikeout pitcher his entire career with strikeouts ranging in the 10-11 per 9 range in the Minors. Glasnow this year has kept his walks to a manageable level given his ground ball and strikeout tendencies. As long as he can keep his walks in check, Glasnow figures to be an elite pitcher. Luckily, the Royals are about as jabroni an offense as we have right now and Glasnow should be able to slice and dice this team. He’s also mega cheap and will allow you pretty much whatever position players you want.

Cole Hamels, P: $9,200 – Old man Hamels has taken to the National League. He has improved his K rate from 24.2% and improved his walk rate to 6.5% all the while getting a lot more ground balls (43.4% to 59%). The Reds don’t have a lot of power in their lineup and Hamels should be a solid option.

HITTERS

Oakland AthleticsKohl Stewart struggles getting any strikeouts (5.73 K/9 projected). You can legitimately play anyone here. Khris Davis (.377 wOBA and .308 ISO) and Matt Olson (.373 wOBA and .308 ISO) are the best plays here (since money shouldn’t be an issue). Jed Lowrie (.359 wOBA) is a good hitter with the platoon advantage. Nick Martini (.369 wOB but in only 90 plate appearances) is leading off with platoon advantage, so he’s playable, but be careful since he has some pinch hit equity built in. Matt Chapman (.357 wOBA and .248 ISO) is a very good play as well. The A’s are the top play of the day and you should have 4 of them in your cash lineup.

Atlanta BravesElieser Hernandez is another pitcher who doesn’t get many strikeouts (16.1%) with 9.1% walks and a 26.3% ground ball rate. That combo is not pretty. Freddie Freeman is pretty much a lock and load cash play since he destroys righties to the tune of .404 wOBA and a .238 ISO vs righties. Ronald Acuna has hit everyone in his rookie season (.390 wOBA and .270 ISO) and apparently has made it his mission to hit a lead off homer in every game he’s not HBP instead. If Ender Inciarte (.322 wOBA) is at the top of the lineup, he’s a very solid play, meanwhile, Nick Markakis (.341 wOBA) is probably more of a GPP play given his high price tag. This and the A’s are the 2 best plays of the short slate and if you play cash games, most of the players should come from these 2 spots.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

I don’t see any rain possibilities at the moment, which is good for a 4 game slate where you can play anyone you want.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The Braves/Marlins total of 8 seems low considering the Marlins are throwing a jabroni. Take the over and start celebrating when Acuna leads off and just like that, you’ll only need 7 runs.