When is a remake not a remake? No, this isn’t a riddle. I’m seriously curious how ‘Anaconda’ was considered a new ‘song’. Sure, Nicki Minaj provided some new…um…lyrics? Is cackling after saying ‘uluhdisfadazz’ considered lyrics? Neither here nor there for my original question, I guess so really, taking the exact same beat from a previous rap song while even sampling lyrics from that song is considered a new tune? Cool, BRB, gonna go make my new song ‘Straight Outta Eugene’. Great ideas come from the times I accidentally don’t watch Nicki Minaj on mute on YouTube, I guess. But yeah, sorry, lost myself for a bit; title homage is to Sir Mix-A-Lot. The LA Ace is of course Kershaw who’s spendy as all get out today but I really want to talk to you about that Oakland Goody in Jesse Chavez. Jesse is the classic home schooler as his ERA in O.Co (2.41) is nearly a run and a half lower than it is on the road (3.78). It also helps that his opponent for the day is the Mariners who have been an offensive wasteland for most of the year. It also helps the Mariners have been at or near the bottom in team K% for most of the year. All signs point to a solid return on that $7,000 price tag which you can pair with Clayton’s $13,100 and still build a solid squad for your cash games. Even if you don’t go with Clayton, locking in Chavez as your SP2 ain’t a bad idea. It’s better than tossing someone’s salad like your name was Romaine…sorry, those ‘lyrics’ are still haunting me. But enough about Nicki Minaj nightmares, let’s get on with it. Here’s my booty-liscious takes for this Friday DK slate…
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Masahiro Tanaka, SP: $10,200 – Tanaka’s game log is a bit of a horror story. After hitting 34 DK points back on June 3rd, Masahiro has seen his totals go down each game since, culminating to his dismal 3.9 outing in Houston during his last go. I don’t know if people will be calling for him in cash games but he’s a tourney only play for me today if I go near him at all, even if the matchup is sweet (and it is).
Michael Wacha, SP: $9,900 – If you need some cash relief with your SP1, Wacha is probably going to be an excellent alternate to Kershaw on the day and probably returns value better with the price tag. Pairing him with Jesse makes a lot of sense to me for cash today if I’m aiming for balance with my squad.
Trevor Bauer, SP: $7,600 – But enough about cash games, let’s set some money on fire, shall we? Bauer is mostly a flyball pitcher and PNC Park definitely favors that and pitchers in general. If Trevor has his stuff working and can get the Ks going, more Bauer to you.
Ubaldo Jimenez, SP: $7,500 – Over the last 7 days, the White Sox as a team are striking out 24.8% of the time while walking just 3.8% of the time. Given he’s pitched better at home than away, I’m only interested for tourneys here.
Brian McCann, C: $3,800 – Archer is the real deal but that don’t mean he can’t give up a HR or 2 or perhaps the bullpen. Lefty bats in Yankee stadium is about as close as American League hitters get to feeling like their in Coors. It’s like playing whiffle ball on the moon, I tell ya.
Yasmani Grandal, C: $3,400 – I’m gonna be picking on Syndergaard a bit today. Why? Those splits, bro. Noah just don’t like leaving his friendly confines so far. Throw in him facing an ace while being on the road with a struggling offense behind him, we could see this unravel pretty quickly. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s all narrative street but if the Dodgers win 10 nothing, would you be surprised? Consider Joc Pederson, Yasiel Puig and Howie Kendrick while you’re at it here.
Albert Pujols, 1B: $5,200 – If I’m paying up, I’m paying for Prince Albert who gets to play with some Chi Chi. Go look up what Chi Chi is slang for in spanish. Ok, you back? Good. Why did I ask you to do that? I assume all people want to know other ways to refer to boobs. You know, for polite dinner conversations!
David Ortiz, 1B: $4,300 – After his recent stint in Toronto, Ortiz may not be dead after all. I think I’ve only rostered him once or twice this year. Either way, he hasn’t scored me any points yet. Could today be the day?
Rougned Odor, 2B: $3,700 – Not the ideal matchup but he’s been batting lead off, is at home, and is a dual threat. I’ve been rostering him for basically a week. I also haven’t been winning much…hrm…well, I think we can safely blame others for that. Nothing about what Odor has been doing stinks.
Steve Pearce, 2B/OF: $3,700 – More a tourney play as at the same price, Pearce will probably bat 7th and is a power play only. But when you’re facing John Danks, one must take note. Going heavy with Baltimore bats wouldn’t be the worst idea.
Manny Machado, 3B: $4,800 – WHAT DID I JUST SAY.
Matt Carpenter, 3B: $3,900 – Much like how my wife describes me in bed, Carpenter is solid but unspectacular. And much like how my wife describes our marriage, at this price he’s a solid cash game play.
Cesar Hernandez, 2B/SS: $2,800 – Until I have an et tu Brute moment, I’m going to be hailing Cesar at this price.
J.D. Martinez, OF: $4,800 – Just Dongs Martinez just finished a June where he hit 11 HRs in 23 games and he already has a HR in July that happened yesterday. I didn’t mention Miggy earlier but could’ve. If you can price in a Tigers stack today, you could be handsomely rewarded.
Alejandro De Aza, OF: $4,100 – Because of his spot in the lineup, he’s hard to play in cash but De Aza has been on fire of late. Maybe, just maybe, today is the day the Red Sox move him up the lineup ladder? Pretty please?
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
There be some scary weather out there today…yar! Sorry, Pirates vs Indians looks like a potential rainout PPD. Be ready and be wary for it. Other than that, CINvsMIL looks like it could threaten but closer to game time you’ll know.
Doing Lines In Vegas
Wow, shock-faced emoji, Kershaw has the biggest line on the night at -250. Meanwhile, we have a lot of 9s going around as BOSvsHOU, AZvsCOL, and TEXvsLAA are all sitting high up. Make sure and cobble some bats from there as you go. To note, it’s also a little concerting to see the run line for STLvsSD bump up a half run and to see Wacha lose a bit of line in the process but it’s not enough to deter me from him tonight. Meanwhile, the NYYvsTB game has a line of 7 and a pick’em between Archer/Tanaka. May make me think a bit more heavily about them for tourney time than I originally had offered…