Seriously, I’m jonesing over here. David Price killed a small part of me yesterday in my lineups. Then Jake Arrieta went in with the dagger plunge on my lineups. And how the hell didn’t I get Ian Kennedy in ONE lineup. Really, Sky? REALLY?!? Woah, hey Seth Meyers. Could ya go back to New York, I’m kinda doing my thing here. BTW, I loved you in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist…I’m joking, of course. I never watched that movie. But you know what I do watch? Baseball. And wanna know who’s fun to watch and good at that? Jose Fernandez. Do I really need to make a huge selling point here? Alright, here it is. Jo-Fer is #1 in the major leagues with a 12.54 K/9 rate. The Friars hitters? Eighth worst K-rate as a team at 22.8%. I know, I know…I had you at 12.54 K/9. There’s a reason he’s the top rated pitcher on the night with a $12,800 price tag. Might be harder to justify in GPP but he’s should be in every 50/50 you play for the day. Oh and BTW, just wanted to let you know, all y’all who signed up through our DraftKings sponsored link? To date, you’ve raked in over $38K. Yeah, that’s too round of a number to be believed. It’s actually $38,245. That’s some mad bank. How much did you spend to earn that amount back? I don’t know, I’m not your bookie. I’ll just assume that if your thumbs aren’t broken, you’re doing well in the game of ‘is it negative or is it positive’. My wife and I play that once a month around a Clear Blue. It’s just as nerve-wracking and just as worrisome about the expenses associated. But bygones! Either way it’s clear you all have great minds…or great tools like the DFSbot who’s just an extension of Rudy Gamble’s mind. Have we checked to see if Rudy is actually human yet himself? Anyways, just wanted to give you a well deserved congrats before we get on with the show. Here’s my picks for Friday’s DK contests for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…
Tyson Ross, SP: $8,200 – I know, he’s been extremely inconsistent but his home numbers have been aces: 9.33 K/9 to go with a 1.67 ERA. Speaking of splits, the Marlins are a great up and coming team offensively but on the road they’ve struggled so far. It’s ok to eat fish cuz they don’t have any feelings. At least on the road.
Masahiro Tanaka, SP: $11,300 – If memory serves, Carlos Gomez has his suspension appeal dated for today. His original suspension was set for 3 games. I doubt they reduce it to zero and they have enough players to replace him. Couple that with Braun still DL’ed, you’re looking at a fairly depleted offense for a pitcher that’s already good and gets to pitch to a league without a DH. So…many…good…things…phew, just avoided going Super Saiyan. Still went Hello Kitty, though. BTW, Chad Kroeger married that. And it wasn’t a shotgun wedding.
Jason Hammel, SP: $9,000 – Welp…yeah, it doesn’t seem that crazy given the recent ATL woes and their team K% rates but he is still Jason Hammel and they do still have power coming out of every pore down there in Hot-lanta. Julio Teheran at $9,800 is probably the safer play in this match of teams that want to strikeout but figured I’d point out the leagues’ other J-Ham for your reading pleasure.
Miguel Cabrera, 1B/3B: $5,900 – I know that you know that I know that you know he’s good. That’s not the convo, bro. The convo is he’s 15/28 for his career against Phil Hughes with 5 HRs and a 1.214 slugging percentage. If you spend big on pitching and Miggy for the day, you’re gonna have to punt big all over the place. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. A la Portishead, it could be sweet.
Anthony Rendon, 2B/3B: $4,300 – Typically I’m on board with a little punting of the good ‘ole 2B but if I can afford it, I’m in on Rendon for the day. Though the sample size be small, the ISO sure ain’t. Anthony is 16th in that category for the year against lefties and gets Tommy Milone who might need to become a Herbathrowdite to avoid a massacre. You can consider this a small nod to Danny Espinosa while you’re at it as he’s 19th in the same category.
Mike Moustakas, 3B: $2,900 – I have no stats to give you that tells you Mike will go off today. Wait, yes I do. They’re called Brandon Maurer‘s stats. Go check them out. They’re so egregious he made me type egregious. How much more egregious could one get? I wouldn’t talk stack against him given the Royals don’t hit many HRs but I would fill parts of my lineup with cheap KC plays where I can.
L.J. Hoes, OF: $2,400 – Sometimes you gotta punt and sometimes that punt has to be an Astro that won’t bat near the top 3 in the order. I’m not saying it like it’s a good thing, I’m just saying it cuz it’s true. Hoes is on the ‘wrong’ side of the platoon split getting lefties but that’s just what is taking the mound on Friday. Consider this a small punt endorsement for Jesus Guzman and Carlos Corporan if they’re in the lineup. Also, consider I didn’t take advantage of any ‘Hoes’ pun in this entire thing and congratulate me.
Jhonny Peralta, SS: $4,000 – Career numbers against Liriano are 13/40 with 2 HRs. BTW, am I the only one that is reminded of that ‘If can raed tihs, you msut be raelly smrat’ email from ages ago when Jhonny’s name gets thrown out? No, just me? Wlel fcuk you tehn.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
There’s rain in the forecast seemingly everywhere, especially along the east coast and the words ‘scattered’ and ‘isolated’ are being joined with ‘Thunderstorms’ in this group as well. Not a good combo. Keep your eye on BALvsHOU, PITvsSTL, DETvsMIN, CINvsCOL and ATLvsCHC. What once was a beautiful, big slate might turn into a race for an umbrella.
Doing Lines In Vegas
TORvsLAA – I fear for Garrett Richards…I really do. He might be able to soothe the savage beast that is the Blue Jays lineup but that team is clicking on all cylinders right now. To put it in words you can understand, let me give you Mugatu.
CHWvsARZ at 9 – I wouldn’t be surprised to see Chi-town’s Rienzo get taken to task by Au Shizz and company. Wanna play the contrarian play that ends all contrarian plays? Run Brandon McCarthy out there. Note I didn’t put him up above but the uptick in his fastball MPH is there and so are the K’s to back up the change of course. I haven’t built a lineup around him to tell you to do it but given my insanity, it will probably happen.