Do you remember the days of riding skateboards all hours of the day with your legs and arms filled with scabs, bruises, and dried blood? A broken bone or a lost fingernail never really stopped most of us. (Actually, I broke my back skateboarding so I had to stop for a while). Searching high and low for any skate videos we could get our hands on, leading us to this epic flick (putting the whole movie would be cruel and unusual punishment for those that have nothing else better to do). Yup, we’re old and it sucks; I go on the DL, and by DL I mean Drinking Longer, with a sprained ankle or a hang nail these days.
Me: “Hey grey, I can’t write this week, my fingernail problem flared up and I can’t type.”
Grey: “It’s not like anyone reads your drivel, so just slap it together. Now go get me a bagel!”
Best internship ever!
Damn, I forgot to write about my creeper. I got so stuck in my Peralta skate-thing, I forgot to tell you to go and grab David Peralta while he still has a job. The 7.5% owned Peralta has been swinging a hot stick since his call up, and now is the time to grab and use before expiration. In a couple of weeks, A.J. Pollock is set to return and that will move Peralta into platoonny tunes, and no one likes that. Unless you own both Oakland A’s catchers and have for most of the year, then you are a friggin’ genius. Those two have put up a counting stat line of 60/15/65/4. That’s nuckin futs. Damnnit, I keep getting side tracked. Peralta so far has put up a line of 18/3/16/2/.321 in only 134 AB’s. You project that out over 600 AB’s and you get roughly a 80/13/70/9/.310 guy. That would be a solid fifth outfielder that won’t hurt you, and you can sit vs. lefties. On the year, he’s hit .346 against right handers, while only hitting .233 against lefties. Here is why I like Peralta; he’s had 15 multi games since June 1st and has taken AB’s away from speedster Ender Inciarte. The D-Backs are loving this converted pitcher and in my opinion makes Rico Suave moveable in the desert. This week he gets 6 games on the schedule and 5 of those are against right handers. The lone game vs. a lefty is against Cliff Lee. I’m not losing sleep over that lost day. He opens with a three game set at home against Detroit and finishes it in on the road in Philly’s little league park. *Crosses finger for dong* Last season, facing a trio of Justin Verlander, Rick Porcello, and Anibal Sanchez would scare me, but not so much this year. I’m also not worried about Kyle Kendrick and Roberto Hernandez either.
Unfortunately as I write this, I have no Hitter-Tron numbers because I had to do this one early. I have a bachelor party this weekend in “San Diego” for my good buddy Miguel, and I assure you we are not going to Tijuana at all. If for some reason I’m not here next week, it’s not because I’m stuck in a Mexican prison selling my body to get bribe money. Speaking of bachelor parties, I would like to say my perception of them comes from the classic Tom Hanks comedy Bachelor Party. Strangely my perception of Tijuana comes from the comedic Tom Cruise classic, Losin It. What can I say, I love the classics and I’m also not a Hangover guy. Nothing like getting all you need to know about life from movies you saw before the age of 13. Oh, where has the America that raised me gone? If you have any bachelor party stories you would like to share, then please drop them in the comments so we all can enjoy.
Here is my little rundown of the under-owned who can help if they are not already gone. Conor Gillaspie (12.8%) has been the 17th best 3rd baseman this year, sandwiched between Panda and Prado in ESPN’s rankings. He finished the break hot and won’t hurt you in the CI or Utility slot. The Guru says to Cram him and I say he needs to loosen his turban up a little bit. Justin Ruggiano (7.7%) has been hotter than fresh out of the oven Eggplant Parmesean, as the Cubs players fight for relevance. Travis d’Arnaud (5.9%) is looking like the sleeper Grey wrote about in 2013 and had been swinging a hot stick before the break. Lastly, I have a lot of love for Tommy La Stella (5.1%), who might be an option for those that missed on Kolten Wong and Arismendy Alcantara . I prefer him over the french DJ, and like him as a solid MI contributor in the second half.