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Well, lookie lookie!  If it’s not Carlos Beltran really back from over a year layoff after leaving the lineup initially with what was described as a day-to-day issue.  Those sure are long days, New York Mets?  They’re like Alaska in the summer days.  Beltran returned briefly last year in September, but he’s claiming that he wasn’t 100% at that point.  He is now.  How far you can throw Beltran is how much you should believe him.  As I mentioned in the top 100 for the 2nd half when I gave him the projections of 35/12/45/.270/4, “He comes with injury risk, might not be ready to hit major league pitching and who knows if he’ll be able to steal any bases…”  And that’s me quoting me!  We’re just as likely to see Beltran reinjure himself, come out of the closet and take Claire Danes to the People’s Choice Awards as a friend.  (On a sidenote, in a meeting I went to yesterday, I held a People’s Choice Award for about 12 seconds.  I knew I was in trouble when I picked it up and said, “I’d like to thank the 16 million Guatemalans who I paid a nickel each to vote for me.  This is as much yours as it is mine, but you’re still not invited to come visit it,” and was met with silence.)  About two weeks ago, I told you to sell Beltran.  Nothing’s changed on that front.  You do what you do, I’ll do what I do and we’ll run parallel and wave to each other.  Hey!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jose Reyes – Manuel said Reyes won’t return until he’s 100% pain free.  As someone who has struggled with oblique soreness… Oh, who am I kidding, I don’t even know where it is.  I’m not sure why they don’t just DL Reyes so I can at least do the same in my fantasy leagues.  Doesn’t anyone care about fantasy?!  C’mon, I’m juggling Bartlett and Hardy in my SS spot!  I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see Reyes for another week to ten days.  <–optimistic

Matt Wieters – To the DL.  I have a suggestion for a new Matt Wieters Fact.  A Houston Astros fan swung a bat at a Brad Ausmus piñata and Matt Wieters fell out.

Justin Morneau – To the DL with side effects from his concussion.  Too bad side effects are never positive.  Oh, well.  You knew you were gonna have to deal with some sorta injury concern at some point with Morneau.

Gordon Beckham – 2-for-3 as he went deep for his 4th homer.  You’re probably wondering why he went deep.  Saying to yourself, “Why, Grey, why did he go deep?”  Let me answer that for you.   Cause I traded him.  This will almost guarantee Beckham has a solid 2nd half.

John Danks – 6 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks.  In the preseason, I said I liked Floyd more than Danks.  I forgot the modifier “after April.”

Kevin Slowey – 3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Wow, what happened to this young brother?  Actually, I know what happened.  He got screws put in his wrist and now he’s putting the screws to his owners.

Ryan Howard – 3-for-4 with his 18th and 19th home runs.  I’m like a broken record here, but he will go on one of his crazy 10 homers in 15 game streaks one of these days– one of these days– one of these days.

Geovany Soto – Hit his 10th homer as he hits .282 on the year.  Aren’t you glad you Ron Popeil’d him?  You didn’t?  Rats to you.

Derrek Lee – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs with his 11th homer as he bats .239.  He’s never hit less than 20 homers in a full season or under .270 since his rookie year.  Cust kayin’.

Jason Heyward – 0-for-4 as he returned from the DL.  On one play, he chased down a fly ball and ran into the outfield wall.  The crowd went silent as Heyward laid on the field for 5 minutes.  Finally, when Heyward popped up and smiled, the crowd erupted.  Find the replay, it was seriously like watching the end of Jerry Maguire.  I was waiting for Tee Pee to walk into my room to announce he was keeping it real.

Bengie Molina – 1-for-4 with his 1st homer as a Ranger.  I was eating dinner, so I didn’t see him hit it.  When I was done eating 25 minutes later, I saw him cross home.

Josh Hamilton – 3-for-4 with 3 doubles.  When he ran into 2nd on his last double, he looked like he was favoring his knee.  He probably would’ve been fine to stay in the game, but he was immediately lifted.  That cracking you hear is the eggshells the Rangers are walking on trying to avoid a Hamilton injury.

Manny Ramirez – 0-for-3, batting cleanup as he returned from the DL.  Another Vladimir Shpunt success story!

Chris Carpenter – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks as he looked fine for the first time in a few starts.  I left him off my top 100 for the 2nd half because I was worried about his forearm and his health, in general.  Better safe than sorry, now finish your milk.

Dontrelle Willis – Signed with the Giants.  Sabean signing him would’ve made more sense if Willis were 40.  Going young, I guess.  Perhaps Matt Cain wanted to help out a young kid named Willis that’s going through tough times….Oh wait, Mr. Drummond was played by Conrad Bain not Matt Cain.

Ryan Braun – We enjoy funny.  We really enjoy unintentionally funny.  But Ryan Braun’s extended commercial with SI model Marissa Miller hits a third level of “So bad that it’s funny someone signed off on this idea.”  And you’d think if you’re going to hire an athlete to promote Remington razors, you’d find a player whose name isn’t your main competitor.  That’s like Perdue hiring Mike Tyson for a chicken ad.

  1. JackInTheBox says:

    No words can describe the hilarity of that commercial. It will no doubt go down as one of the greatest commercials in history. Right up there with Mean Joe Green and the 1984 Apple commercials. Brilliant.

  2. black love says:

    Yeah thats nucking futs! Its so long too, I guess its just for the internet?

  3. Mowses says:

    He sure had the platoon advantage going for him in his last AB ;-)

  4. steamer says:

    Ha, that video’s hilarious! So now I’ve got 4 guys injured (Utley, VMart, Morneau, Reyes) so I’m having trouble fielding a full line up these days. I’ve been offered Butler for E. Santana or Garcia. My pitching’s pretty good with JJ, Felix, Liriano, Bills, Scherzer, Volquez, but I like my depth especially in a H2H league. I’d would then drop Fowler & pick up one of Gio, Gorz, Kennedy or Wells. Would you make to move & who would you grab? Which SP would you trade?

  5. FredMertz says:

    Yeah, the commercial is bad, but I’m never going to diss an MOT making a dime.

  6. Earl Battey says:

    In my keeper league, I woke up to find Wieters and Morneau on the DL, bringing my total to 6 (YoGa, Utley, Kendry, Volquez). That’s after I’ve already parted ways with Nathan, Sizemore and Anderson and waited out Street, Rollins and Suzuki. Ugh. Anyhow, I have Morneau covered with A-Ram, but I’m not sure if I should bother replacing Wieters because it would necessitate an uncomfortable drop. I can’t cut Utley or Kendry because once they clear waivers they would become really cheap keepers for someone. I have 7 OFs, with Abreu or Span being the most likely to go, but they have more value than the catchers on the wire. I could part with Floyd or Volquez, but I will need one of those guys and didn’t want to choose before Volquez’ first start. I suppose I could just drop Wieters, but he was finally showing signs of life before the break. Is it worth dropping any of these guys for a week or two of someone like Iannetta, Yadier, AJ, Barajas, or Jaso? I’m thinking I might be better off playing Wieters. At least he won’t kill my average. Sorry about the long-winded question.

  7. schlitz says:

    15 team league. Currently rocking gomes in my ut spot. Been offered byrd for my dempster, which I rejected. Looking at his other hitters, which of these would you counter for, nelson cruz, sparkakis, pacman, manny, ortiz.

  8. King of Queens says:

    Beckham or Wandy??Which bum is more likely to turn it around in the second half? Who would you rather have?

  9. Ron Washington's Stache says:

    With Morneau hitting the DL, I need a CI replacement. My best options appear to be Blake, Smoak, Kotchman, Overbay, Betemit, Encarnacion, Inge, Kouzmanoff.
    I’m leaning toward Smoak or possibly Blake. Thoughts?

  10. Tony says:

    1. Marissa Miller is absolutely gorgeous! wow.

    2. I wonder how Braun swinging at underhand pitching made the brewers org. feel? Maybe he can go golf 18 right after to help his swing recorrect?

    3. If reyes is going to keep being DTD, who to snag up, Starlin, Hardy, or Pennington? Its slim pickens…..

  11. sean says:

    @Ron Washington’s Stache: I think Smoak is the better long term pick, but Morneau isn’t going to be out long (I think), so maybe it’s just a case of playing the hot hand for a series or a week…

  12. Ron Washington's Stache says:

    @sean: Thanks, Sean. I’m barely holding onto 1st place. While I’d like to win the regular season, I play in a H2H league with a playoff system, so a 1st place regular season finish isn’t that important. My point is that I can afford to wait it out with Smoak, and maybe he becomes a desirable trade piece.

  13. thepizzaman says:

    So how long do you guys give it until the Matt Wieter’s Fact website is taken down for perpetual suckness?

  14. Frank Rizzo says:

    Awkward. “Signing kids balls”? Really? Miller’s not ugly, that’s for sure.

    Speaking of Gordo Beckham…….will we see him as a “Buy” this afternoon?

  15. Sean says:

    With Beltran coming off the DL, I need to drop one, Who to drop?

    Rajai Davis
    G Beckham

  16. fredaycouples says:

    Choose your own adventure…

    Drop A.J. Burnett -or-
    Drop Mike Pelforey?

    Need to pick up an OF and these appear to be my two worst pitchers (as long as Medlen stays strong in the rotation)

  17. @Frank Rizzo: Funny stuff… how about “seems like everything goes between their legs…”

    uh… right.

    I hate the short ASB week.

    @Grey: Ohlendorf vs. ‘Stros or Chen vs. K.C.?

  18. Wah says:

    I have Gallardo and Pedroia on the DL. Gallardo is eligible to come off on Tuesday.

    Should I drop Slowey and pick up Jordan Zimmermann? Then Tuesday, activate Gallardo and put Zimmermann on the DL for a late season push?

    Slowey makes me want to gouge my own eyes out.

  19. steamer says:

    Any thoughts on Brian Roberts being worth a stash? Sounds like he’ll be back in a few weeks. Projections for the rest of the way?

  20. @Wah: I’m asking the same question, at least as far as dropping Slowey. I feel like I’d rather just run with a streamer in his roster spot. He’s been awful.

  21. mgeoffriau

    Mark Geoffriau says:

    Couple questions this morning:

    (1) Need a C pickup. Kendall, R Martin, Pierzynksi, Iannetta, Fox, Jaso…I’m leaning Iannetta (and praying for an Olivo injury), but how long can he keep up the “Play every 3rd day, and hit a homer” routine?

    (2) Still have the Liriano + Mike G for my R Soriano offer on the table. Someone else offered me this:

    A Soriano, M Reynolds, M Cain for my Beltre, Stubbs, Nolasco, and Jordan Zimmerman.

    The talent swap seems fair, and I’d be selling high on an injured Beltre and buying (Mendoza-) low on Reynolds, but I just don’t know if it really works for me…

  22. Cole says:

    Wait, what happened to Braun’s dog? I need closure! And since when do supermodels hang out in Milwaukee? I was there last week and it was nothing but fatties. That’s it, the premise of this is just too much for me to take seriously.

  23. Fletch says:

    Which 2 of 4 will have the better 2nd half: Oritz, B. Roberts, Beckham or Ellsbury?

  24. thepizzaman says:

    Need some input guys. Who would you rather have in a dynasty league: D. Price or T. Hanson?

    I know at first the obvious answer is Price but I’m thinking long term and I really like Hanson in the NL and far away from the AL east. But Price has been shutting everyone down.

    All comments are appreciated!

  25. Peter says:

    I’m in a 10-team H2H league, and I’ve had the best pitching staff in the league all year… that is, until Gallardo got injured, Latos was innings-limited, Medlen was victimized by his manager’s senility, and Peavy died. I’m left with Cliff Lee, Tommy Hanson, Ervin Santana, Jonathan Sanchez, and (soon) Edinson Volquez. The free agent list is nightmarish, since pitching is very deep for a 10-team league. My offense blows, so I can ill-afford to trade away one of my few good hitters. My question is–should I just pick up a bunch of middle relievers to aid my ratio stats? If so, which ones? Does this strategy ever work? I would do it basically until Gallardo and Latos come back (assuming I can’t trade Latos).

  26. I proposed a deal where I trade Kinsler and Mauer for Kemp and Prado. Kinsler is better than Prado but not by a lot, even by your projections while Kemp is a lot better than Mauer. I have Posey who can slide in at C. What do you think?

  27. Hi Grey — Would you start Volquez in his first start back at home against the Rockies? I have him on both my roto teams: one 14 teams and one with 20.

    Also, in a quick followup to something from the forums yesterday, I see a lot of sites recommending Downs as the handcuff to Gregg but I know you think Frasor is a better bet. Is that because Downs is a lefty? Because Frasor has been pitching well over the last month? Because Frasor is less likely to be traded himself? I already grabbed Frasor and left Downs on waivers, but I’m curious to know your reasoning.

  28. royce! says:

    Holy hell, that video was terrible. Rizzo was right– Signing kids’ balls? Here’s a suggestion– don’t make jokes that involve children’s testicles. Now, if instead of Ryan Braun it was Gary Glitter or Pete Townshend, that might be funny.

    There has to be a story behind that commercial. My guess is it’s similar to the Simpson’s episode in which Homer designs a car for his brother’s company.

  29. Brade says:

    Have to admit I laughed pretty hard at “Supermodel on first, Fat Guy on the mound.”

    The inexplicable Highlander moment at the end was jarring.

  30. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Cole: Sorry dude…….the dog dies. A real tear jerker.

    @Brade: “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!”

  31. Justin says:

    16 team h2h, keep 16. 7×7 with QS,L,XBH,BB being the extra’s

    A: Halladay/Rasmus
    B: Verlander/A. Rios

    which side do you like?

  32. Dingo says:

    @thepizzaman: I actually don’t think that Price is such an obvious choice. Despite the difference in their ERAs, their peripheral stats aren’t too different. Price’s FIP is 3.59 compared to Hanson’s 3.50, and for xFIP, it’s 3.95 (Price) vs. 4.03 (Hanson). It looks like Hanson’s had bad luck in terms of batting average on balls in play, but on the other hand, he gives up a lot of fly balls, and he’s been lucky that more of them haven’t turned into HRs. In the end, it looks like you’re comparing Price’s better GB% and track record to Hanson’s better K%, BB%, and league environment. I think you could be fine either way, though I think I’d lean a bit toward Hanson.

  33. Kendry's Cart Off Grand Slam says:

    @Grey Who is the better keeper?
    Carlos Gonzalez
    Jason Heyward

    I would keep both but Josh Hamilton has made a compelling case to be kept.

  34. Kendry's Cart Off Grand Slam says:

    @Justin: Not a bad trade but personally id go with side A. I don’t see Rios keeping up this pace.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:

    @JackInTheBox: Ha

    @black love: No, it’s long.

    @Mowses: Ha!

    @steamer: Sure, send Ervin.

    @Earl Battey: Eh, hold.

    @schlitz: Any of them.

    @Tony: Ha, yeah. Hardy…

    @thepizzaman: Never happening. Things don’t come down on the internet.

    @Frank Rizzo: You just got him.

    @Sean: Stubbs

    @fredaycouples: Pelfrey

    @3FingersBrown: The Dorf.

    @Wah: Sure

    @steamer: A few steals and Runs.

    @Mark Geoffriau: Martin… I’d take the Soriano side.

    @Cole: Ha!

    @Fletch: Beckham, Ellsbury…

    @thepizzaman: Hanson

    @Peter: No idea who’s available.

    @Frank Kim: I’d take Kemp.

    @mr baseball: Hehe

    @Enrique: Nope He’s a lefty.

    @royce!: Ha!

    @Brade: Ha

    @Justin: A

    @Kendry’s Cart Off Grand Slam: Heyward

  36. Oregon Nut Cups

    Oregon Nut Cups says:

    It seems like everything goes between their legs

    Shouldn’t you be signing some kid’s balls somewhere?

    Big yikes. Of course, my favorite exlamation was ‘holy cantalopes’.

  37. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: “You just got him?” for Beckham? I don’t get it. He’s still hanging on the wire in my Yahoo league. So he is a “Buy” this afternoon? Maybe I’m slow.

  38. Seequinn says:

    @Grey: Was the idea with that commercial to hold everyone’s attention for two minutes with the potential of a gangbang? I’m actually still having trouble believing that’s real.

  39. Cal Cheats says:

    I just got offered Strausburg, Jason Bay and Adam LaRoche for Brett Gardner and Billy Butler. Do it?

  40. Howie Met Your Mother says:


    Great stuff as always Grey! Would rather send out Lilly home against Philly or Hammell @ Cinci (he’s been pretty brutal on the road lately)?

  41. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Oregon Nut Cups: An uncomfortable 2 minutes, for sure.

    @Frank Rizzo: I meant, I just mentioned so why mention him later today? But I’ll add him, cause maybe it’s not clear.

    @Seequinn: Ha

    @Cal Cheats: I’d want Gardner’s side.

    @Howie Met Your Mother: Thanks! I’d start either depending on the circumstances. Hammel a bit more…

  42. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: Okay. It’s clear. No need to add him. Like I said, I’m slow.

  43. Anonymous says:

    Start shields against the Yankees in the house Steinbrenner built, after his horrible stretch of like eight straight starts?

    Latos update! He felt a pain in his oblique after stifling a sneeze and is heading to the dl. He will make his July 24th start against the Pirates. What a crock of shizz from the padres front office. A helpful crock of shizz though.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: No, it’s cool. Wasn’t like you were the only one who asked.

    @Anonymous: At least he’s going to the DL. Reyes! I wouldn’t start Shields.

  45. thepizzaman says:

    @Dingo: Thanks!

  46. Homer says:

    Looking to get Cano but it will cost me Jimenez or Lincecum. This is a Dynasty league and I can afford to move pitching. I have Hill at 2B. D’oh!

  47. Phillies Red says:

    Could use some input here: McGehee or Aramis Ramirez going forward? Or hell, Beckham? HR, RBI, OPS, and SBs are the league categories.

  48. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Homer: I’d move Ubaldo for Cano, but it’s fair either way.

    @Phillies Red: Aramis…

  49. Phillies Red says:

    @Grey, thanks. That was my thought too, just needed a little push.

  50. Doug Ault says:

    “It seems like everything goes between their legs” ;-)


  51. Ron Washington's Stache says:

    @Grey: You missed my earlier question. Here it is again:

    “With Morneau hitting the DL, I need a CI replacement. My best options appear to be Blake, Smoak, Kotchman, Overbay, Betemit, Encarnacion, Inge, Kouzmanoff.
    I’m leaning toward Smoak or possibly Blake. Thoughts?”

  52. DJSatane says:

    I still take posey and c santana over soto due to more playing time for both, and higher in the battin order.

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