In just under two months at Triple-A (45 games), Brett Lawrie hit 12 homers and stole 10 bases.¬† To put that in context, Dave Winfield hitting against Queen Latifah in the 2003 All-Star Celebrity Softball Game never got past 2nd base, on the field.¬† The Blue Jays GM Alex Snuffaluffagus said, “I‚Äôm more excited about (Lawrie) today than I was in April when he was hitting .430.”¬† That makes two of us.¬† Once he’s called up, his 2nd base eligibility makes him instantly startable in just about any league.¬† If that doesn’t excite you, he’ll play 3rd base for Toronto.¬† “Wait, what about playing time?¬† Who’s playing 3rd base now in Toronto?”¬† That’s you talking to yourself while you lick your Dorito-stained fingers.¬† John McDonald, Jayson Nix and Edwin Encarnacion.¬† Don’t worry if you didn’t know that.¬† Sometimes John Farrell even has to call Jayne Nix, Jayson’s mom, before the game and ask to be reminded who his third baseman is.¬† Seems like the easy answer there is yes, Lawrie will play.¬† If he’s called up in the beginning of June, as I anticipate, I’d expect a 15/15 season.¬† That’s pretty terrific for a middle infidel in three-quarters of a season.¬† Now Lawrie’s on your radar, but is he on your team?¬† Snap!¬† Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Anthony Rizzo – The best part about Rizzo is his power.¬† The worst part is he’ll be hitting in Petco.¬† The moderately good part is the Padres are fools if they don’t call him up and play him every day.¬† The moderately worst part is the Padres are fools.
Juan Miranda – Carmen’s son was hit by a pitch on Sunday and hasn’t played since.¬† Sounds like someone you want on your team immediately, huh?¬† Yeah, I seduce you with my lukewarm buys.¬† I know I do.¬† Now come here and scratch my back.¬† Lower.¬† Lower.¬† Wait, where were we?¬† Oh, yeah, Miranda.¬† The D-Backs released Branyan and are giving Miranda room to sink or swim.¬† He was swimming before he was hit by the pitch.¬† He should be back in the pool soon.
Ryan Ludwick – Sorry, having a hard time finding something nice to say, but he’s been hitting recently.
Josh Reddick – I just went over him this morning.¬† If you scroll with your right finger, your left will get jealous.
Nolan Reimold – I did used to love Reimold.¬† Thanks for asking, long time reader of Razzball.¬† Right now, I’m still smarting from how many times he’s burned me, but I’m willing to apply an ointment and try him one more time.
Mike Morse – Some of these waiver wire pick ups are, to misquote Wilco, “It’s a war on bore, it’s a war on bore, it’s a war on bore…”¬† I mean, Ludwick?¬† Really?¬† But not Morse.¬† He actually has the potential to break out and be a contributor for the rest of the season.¬† I’d grab him across all leagues.
Tsuyoshi Nishioka – He’s due back in a week or two.¬† When he first signed in the states, here’s what I said, “(He) hit .346 last year and the first player in the Pacific League to get 200 hits since Ichiro.¬† He also hit 11 homers and stole 22 bases.¬† Before last year though, he hit .260 with 14 homers and 26 steals.¬† You‚Äôd take that at middle infield and like it.¬† Only problem is sometimes things get lost in translation.¬† Kaz Matsui hit .332 with 36 homers and 33 steals when he was a 26-year-old in Japan.¬† We all know how well he turned out in the States.¬† So will Nishioka be great in his first year or will he look like he‚Äôs fresh off the bloat?”¬† And that’s me quoting me!¬† Assuming his speed isn’t hurt by the injury, I’d stash him now.
Eric Young Jr. – The Rockies designated Jose Lopez for assignment.¬† That assignment was to stop sucking.¬† Good luck!¬† The Rockies matched that ‘making sense’ move with another I’m fond of.¬† The recall of Eric Young Jr.¬† I tried to grab him in every league, but 9 out of ten fantasy baseball ‘perts beat me to it and I only got him in one league.¬† I suggest you grab him everywhere, because at MI it’s kinda nice to have a guy that can steal 35 bases in three-quarters of the season.
Rubby de la Rosa – Could see some Dodger saves, and he sounds like a Venezuelan masseuse.¬† I say buy and you say how much!¬† Or you just say “No, I’m not in an NL-Only league or that desperate for saves.”
Jon Rauch/Octavio Dotel – SAGNOF!
Grant Balfour – Not only was he just terrific on Melrose Place, but he’s getting saves in Oakland.¬† It’s called SAGNOF and it sounds just as it’s spelled.
Jonathan Lucroy – He used to play for the Ragin Cajuns and he’s striking out at a high rate.¬† I will call him, The K’ing of Mardi Gras.¬†¬† Also, he’s getting lucky with balls in play and he doesn’t have big power, but he is currently hitting, so there’s that.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – Has 4 homers in his last 6 starts.¬† Unfortunately, that’s over 11 days because Tito’s playing Jason Varitek like he’s on a farewell tour.¬† I’d call the tour, This Is Shit.
Asdrubal Cabrera – Said a’la Duffman, “Not.¬† The.¬† Drubal.”¬† Said a’la Cher from Clueless, “As…DRUBAL!”¬† I have much love for Asdrubal.¬† He’s so money that money borrows money from him.¬† But, I mean, c’mon.¬† He has 10 homers already and he’s the fifth best hitter for all of fantasy, according to ESPN’s Player Rater.¬† There’s no way he comes anywhere near this pace.¬† If he only got to 17 homers on the year, it wouldn’t surprise me.¬† I’m not saying sell him for a pair of Champion shorts that lost their drawstring, but I’d explore options.¬† His value will never be higher.
Kyle Lohse – Looking at his photo, don’t you picture a minituare Fred Astaire standing on his lips, leaning against his upside down, umbrella-shaped facial hair like in Singin’ In The Rain?¬† Okay, maybe it’s a mirage.¬† Kinda like his insanely low ERA.