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Image result for rize of the prodigy byron buxton  Image result for byron buxton and jackie bradley in same picture

 

All those B’s in the title got me bobbing my head to this. Man, I can listen to that song all day. Anyways, back to the order at hand. In preseason NFBC drafts, Jackie Bradley Jr. is being selected, on average, with the 146th overall pick. Byron Buxton is going at pick 147. I thought this would be an easy and straightforward piece to research and write. If you read last week’s Bear or Bull, you know that I eschew the hackers for the more disciplined batters. Choosing between the two proved to be a far more difficult endeavor, though.

In 331 plate appearances last year, Buxton struck out 35.6% of the time and had a 15% swinging strike rate. He managed to hit .225 WITH a .329 BABIP. Bradley Jr., on the other hand, clubbed 26 home runs, scored 94 runs, drove in 87, stole nine bases, and hit .267 while striking out 22% and walking 10% of the time. The 26 home runs really stood out to me, as he had never eclipsed 10 in any professional season. While ESPN Home Run Tracker labeled 10 of Bradley’s homers as “just enough,” his average true distance (399.1 feet) was close to the  MLB average of 400 feet. The more I kept looking at the advanced stats, the more comfortable I was getting with my initial assessment of Bradley over Buxton. He was hitting more line drives, hard contact % went up, GB%, FB%, and HR/FB were all in-line, and his plate discipline numbers actually got better. Yet, like any good grasshopper, I kept searching. Why you ask? Maybe it was because I didn’t want to get type-cast into being the GET OFF MY LAWN-boring-old guy. Whatever the reason may be, I found what I was looking for. Or maybe it found me. Or maybe…

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I knew this girl in high school that got bored easily and always needed that tinge of drama or danger in her life. She was definitely not the missionary type. She enjoyed conflict because it made her feel alive. On the other hand, I knew girls that just reveled in the safety of companionship. Did I just humble brag that I actually knew a girl? Indeed, and not just one girl but girls with that capital “S”!!! My parents knew what they were doing when they named me Stan Son. Shout out to Momma and Poppa Son.

The differences are what make life awesome, interesting, and fun to experience. And so it is in the fantasy baseball world. There are so many ways to attack the maze that, more often than not, our personal biases and philosophies will dictate which player we choose.

Case in point, compare Daniel Murphy with Rougned Odor. They both play second base, bat left-handed, and are being selected close to each other in fantasy drafts, but they are very different players. The one you select will shed light on your personality, so let’s delve into each a little further and see if you are indeed a psycho that likes to live dangerously!!!

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A lot of mocking been going on around these parts recently. Some of it justified. Some of it #AlternativeFacts. Who am I kidding? It’s all justified…for all sides. What’s the lesson here boys and girls? Don’t be a freaking moron, which is exactly what you’ll be if you don’t start participating in mock drafts for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. All the projection models ain’t worth diddly poo if you can’t put it into the proper context. This past Wednesday, Grey asked/summoned one of Razzball’s finest, malamoney, and myself to participate in a CBSsports.com mock draft with industry celebrities such as Scott White, Heath Cummings, Chris Towers, and Adam Aizer. Shout out to the CBSsports.com crew for allowing me to participate in the mock draft. Scott White just posted his recap of the draft here. It was a 21-round draft with 1 catcher, 3 outfielders, 1 utility, 5 starting pitchers, and 2 relief pitcher spots. The settings were for a 12-team, H2H, 5×5 category league. The draft order was as follows:

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IFFB, how can I explain it
I’ll take it frame by frame it
To have y’all all jumping, shouting, saying it
I is for the in, F is for the field, F is for the fly, don’t be the scumbag guy
The last B, well that’s very simple

Okay, I’ll stop now. That was my feeble attempt to pay homage to NAUGHTY BY NATURE. Damn, I feel old now. GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN!!!

What’s IFFB? If you just Googled it…and enjoyed what you saw, then I don’t know what to tell you. I just got you to Google it huh?

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Gingerphobia is the fear, dislike, or hatred of people with red hair. If every red head looked like Carrot Top, I’d probably have gingerphobia myself. Fortunately, my ex-girlfriend looked like this.

It is said that 1-2% of the world’s population has red hair, so it makes sense that many would have some apprehension toward people with MC1R, the gene for red hair. For some, the experience of first contact was probably how the Native Americans reacted when they saw the first Europeans. If that doesn’t jive with you, then imagine how your first extraterrestrial contact will be. Personally, I didn’t even notice the color of my ex-girlfriend’s hair. In fact, I just now noticed that she had any hair on her head at all.

So why am I rambling about MC1R and Carrot Top for this week’s Bear or Bull? Because…..as much as we live in our fantasy baseball bubble…or mom’s basement….the outside world…aka…society…aka….people…still play a huge part in perceptions of players, ADP, etc. And where there are people…there are biases and values start popping up like magic mushrooms in the “?” box.

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When the Gotham City Police Department turns on the Bat-Signal, Bruce Wayne ceases doing whatever gagillionairres do and dons his costume and rushes to where he is needed. When that fine girl you “daydream” about finally texts….Ok, let’s not get ridiculous here. Crime fighting Batman I can wrap my head around, but that? No way. When ANY girl texts you for that booty call late at night, you immediately take off all your clothes and Uber your ass to wherever she is. When Grey asked for me in his Top 20 3rd Basemen for 2017, what do you think happened? You got it. I took off all my clothes and sent for an Uber. By the way, Grey could of just emailed, texted, or called me, but Commissioner Gordon could’ve beeped, texted, or called Batman, rather than use a specially modified searchlight to project a symbol into the sky that can’t be seen if Bruce Wayne is not looking into the sky. Ya heard? So with that said, in honor of this off-the-cuff piece, here is this week’s musical interlude.

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Ren & Stimpy. Beavis & Butt-head. Laverne & Shirley. Will & Grace. Tom & Jerry. Sanford & Son. Rizzoli & Isles. Franklin & Bash. Hollywood has always had a fascination with highlighting the relationship between two. It makes sense. The world is dualistic in nature. Yin and Yang. Good versus Evil. White and Black. Whatever the reason, that is what the people enjoy and, whatever the people enjoy,  is where the money flows to. The world is such a simple place. With the inaugural baseball Bear or Bull article coinciding with the beginning of the new television season, I thought it would be appropriate to pay homage to the famous pairings of TV past and bring you pairs on a weekly basis. I am a person of the people after all. Honestly, Jay, my editor and top-10 fantasy football ranker, asked me to talk about two similar players every week. That wouldn’t make for an interesting open though. So with that said, until the regular season starts, you shall be blessed with a double shot of Bear or Bull every week!!! Who doesn’t like a 2-for-1? Well, I usually do except when that one owner offers up Kenta Maeda and Jacoby Ellsbury for Mike Trout every week. EF that guy!

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In the offseason, you did your due diligence and formulated opinions on players. After that exhaustive process, you selected the worthy few and enshrined them in your “fantasy display case.” These are the players that you knelt down and prayed to for fantasy glory. After an arduous five month journey, many of those gods have forsaken you. What you must do now is beckon the Faceless Men-a guild of assassins that are servants of the Many-Faced God. If you don’t know these references, then… If you really don’t know, Google Game of Thrones…Many-Fa…Who am i kidding? Either you know them or you don’t. The point is that it’s all about accumulating stats at this point. Don’t get caught up in the name or the fame. The waiver wire, which is the Many-Faced God for you now, will provide plenty of anonymous assassins to help you.

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It’s late at night. You’ve got about a half an hour before the bar closes. This is when s@#! gets real. Are you desperate enough to go home with anything that walks? Animals included. Are you content to pleasure yourself? Did you hookup the night before? Do you just want to hit up Taco Bell and pray to the porcelain god? We are approaching that time in the fantasy baseball season. Many of trade deadlines will be here, so things about to get real son. Prepare yourselves.

In this weekly column, I highlight some lower-owned players that performed well over the past week. Whammies are no good. Obama making it rain is muy bueno. Watch old episodes of Press Your Luck if you are not familiar with whammies…

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It’s that time of the week again boys and girls. Time of the week, not time of the month you adsfasdfsaf;kjh!!!! Random tangent in 3…2…1…When we are young, we can’t wait to get old, yet when we get old, we yearn to be young. When it’s that time of the month for women, they can’t wait till they don’t have to deal with that anymore, yet when they don’t have to deal with that anymore, they yearn for that time of month to appear. Or maybe not. I guess if I knew that for real, that’d be a problem. Whatever. I just wanted to post my favorite GIF…

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Y’all miss me? Of course you did. My Tony Robbins’ tapes keep telling me to be positive. For those that care…thank you kind sir in the back. Oh, you’re just smelling your armpit? I was at LegoLand. An amazing place. The patience and dedication required to build those structures are legendary. Kind of like our fantasy teams. We’ve toiled and perspired for months constructing our teams. Now, we are in the end of days. A month left in the regular season for a chance at fantasy immortality. Don’t be this guy.

In this weekly column, I highlight some lower-owned players that performed well over the past week. I will help you navigate the fantasy landscape and steer you clear of those pesky whammies. If you are not familiar with whammies, please go watch old episodes of Press Your Luck.

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I hate the All-Star break. There are no games to watch, no games to bet on, no DFS, and no accumulating stats for fantasy. My life is empty and meaningless, except for the wife and two kids thing. The worst thing about the All-Star break is the All-Star game itself. That one game exhibition, in which no one tries hard, determines home field for the World Series? Seriously? How the F-ing, F did someone think that would be a good idea? Even my tree-puffing, shroom-eating self would have thought that was a bad idea. Want to make the All-Star game competitive? Make contracts non-guaranteed, like in football, for the losing squad. I bet we’d see some epic battles then. This article was written and submitted prior to the All-Star game, so if it was an epic, competitive game, spam the MLB front offices with your approval.

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