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I had a buddy that used to DJ back in the day. This was a time when vinyl actually had to be spun on the turntables. A time when milk crates upon milk crates would house the entire collection. A time when amazingly awesome friends would help move all the equipment to the place of his gig. And back. Now, there’s nostalgia in the actual art of spinning records, but was all the hassle worth it? Which brings me to DJ LeMahieu of the New York Yankees. We have pleasured ourselves many of times over because he played in Colorado, but the end results did not bring us fantasy elation. He’s in New York now and has been absolutely balling. Is he worth it?

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No one is perfect. Even the greatest closer of all time, Mariano Rivera, had a career save percentage of 89%. In addition, no one can have an approval rating of 100%. There are too many divergent perspectives, opinions, and experiences for that to be feasible. John F. Kennedy, the 35th POTUS, has the highest average approval rating (70.1%) since the Gallup Poll was created in 1935. The high mark was 83%, while he bottomed out at 56%. Donald Trump, the 45th POTUS, has a high of 46% with a low of 35%, which gives him an average of 39%, the lowest by far of any POTUS. For as much as a POS he’s been, though, he has provided value for many. Which brings me to Ian Kennedy of the Kansas City Royals, who many have sworn off from past experiences, but has been added in 7.9% of ESPN leagues over the past week. How will this Kennedy Administration end?

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Crime often pays because A) a product is obtained for free and sold at a markup (this can also include certain services as well) or B) a product or service is provided at an exhorbitant markup due to its illegal nature. It’s not all reward, though, as there are significant risks in these ventures, the most obvious coming from law enforcement. As a result, many of resources need to be allocated to stay one step ahead of the 5-0 in order to stay in business and flourish. Which brings me to Ramon Laureano of the Oakland Athletics, who has been a Top 40 player over the past month and the #4 player over the past seven days. Is this just a lucky streak or has he discovered something in order to stay out of fantasy jail and prosper?

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, homo sapiens would nuke aluminum trays of food (which I always imagined what prison food would look like) in a microwave. I was indoctrinated into this ritual when my mom brought home what they called “tv dinners” from Swanson. It looked like crap, to be honest. To make matters worse, I had to slice a hole in the film covering the meat, then poke holes for the potatoes, then cut out the section over the cranberries. Damn B! What’s up with all the fuss for something that looks like crap? The same can be said for Dansby Swanson of the Atlanta Braves. He was much hyped, yet kind of crappy since he joined the big club. So far in 2019, though, he’s the overall number 28 player on the Razzball Player Rater! Damn B! Dansby! Let’s see if he’s a bear or a bull.

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Austin Riley of the Atlanta Braves has taken the league by storm. He’s clubbed eight home runs in his first 17 games of MLB action, which has resulted in him being named NL Rookie of the Month. Yeah, baby! You make me very horny. But then I became very conflicted, as perusing the advanced stats brought me to one conclusion, while observing the at-bats on YouTube took me in another direction. Not so shagadelic. Let’s see if we can determine if he’s trash or treasure.

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“Left” gets a bad rap.  I’m not sure why that is, but it is. Left is defined as: relating to a person or group favoring liberal, socialist, or radical views. Why they gotta go there and make it so dramatic. Radical? Really? Type in the word right and what comes up? Morally good. True. Fact. Acceptable. Hmmm. How about Tinder? You swipe right if you’re interested in someone and left if you’re not. Granted, a big percentage of car accidents occur when making a left turn in an intersection, but on the other hand, NASCAR races, in which cars approach speeds of 200 mph, only turn left. Which brings me to Jesse Winker of the Cincinnati Reds, who was dropped in 6.7% of ESPN leagues over the past week. Since left is the outcast, and Winker bats from the left side of the plate, do we swipe left and follow the crowd?

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As we learned more than 10 years ago, Chicks Dig the Long Ball. So it only makes sense that those old curmudgeons on Park Ave decided to “Capri Sun the baseballs”, as Grey so eloquently wrote. But Son? If chicks dig the long ball and old curmudgeons do not actually hit dingers, then how does that benefit them? Well, home runs bring excitement, which fosters viewership, which enhances advertisting revenue, which boosts pay of old curmudgeon, which some chicks dig. Ya dig? Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Anyways, it’s gotten so ridiculous that Tommy La Stella (5′ 11″ 180lbs), Eduardo Escobar (5′ 10″ 185lbs), and Derek Dietrich (6′ 0″ 205lbs) are among the leaders in long balls this season. On the flip side, there’s Daniel Vogelbach, all 6′ 0″ 250 pounds of not-so-lean, mean, hitting dingers machine, who has clubbed 14 homers so far this season. Is it sustainable?

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I rarely go to Starbucks. I’m good with my Jose’s Vanilla Nut from Costco thank you very much, but when I do enter one, I turn into a complete psycho. I blame the siren on the logo that must be whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Hi, Shelley. Yes, I’d like the largest sized mocha frappaccino with oreo cookie crumbles and a blueberry scone. I don’t care how much it costs and how many calories they are. Also, that article I read the other day about how the pastries are not fresh? I. Don’t. Care. One must indulge from time to time and that costs money. Yes, I could run next door to the supermarket and get a six-pack of scones for the same price, but who has time for that. Plus, the sirens. Anyways, as many of us need our caffeine and pastry fixes in real life, the same goes for power in the fantasy world. Well, C. J. Cron of the Minnesota Twins has plenty of power and the cost to acquire could be relatively cheap, as he’s owned in less than 50% of ESPN leagues. Let’s see if he’s trash or treasure.

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I used to love watching Scooby Doo when I was a kid. That love was taken to another level when I discovered trees and magic mushrooms. Man, if I wasn’t married with two kids, I would have moved to Colorado yesterday. Anyways, when something bad was about to happen on the show, Scooby Doo would go “Ruh Roh”.  Well, when I dug into the numbers for Ronny Rodriguez of the Detroit Tigers, who was one of the hottest hitters over the past week, the Ruh Roh-ing of Scooby Doo kept echoing in my head. Should we be worried?

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Emotion is both a blessing and a curse. Without it, one would not be able to experience the full gamut of what life has to offer. Because of it, though, drives many of us to do questionable things. For example, look how many manage their investment portfolios: sell the winners and hold onto the losers, for the fear of losing gains and hoping losses turn into winners. That’s completely backwards. The same principles apply to the fantasy baseball universe, with one fundamental difference. Variance. When Amazan hits a homerun on quarterly earnings, it’s a no doubter. If Mike Trout hits a ball that’s headed for the stands, there’s a chance it goes foul….or a fielder robs him….or a gust of wind knocks the speed and trajectory of the ball down. Things happen within a small sample size which are not necessarily indicative of past, present, or future results. With that said, when people throw in the towel and capitulate, that could be the sign of a bottom. Over the past week, Kolten Wong has been dropped in 12.9% of ESPN leagues, to bring his ownership to 51.6%. Is now the time to be open to Kolten?

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I’m a Chevy Chase guy. The National Lampoon movies, Caddyshack, and Spies Like Us were some of my favorites. I also enjoyed Fletch, in which he portrayed Irvwin Fletcher, a newspaper reporter who utilized a bevy of disguises. Would I shell out $13 for a movie ticket + $10 for popcorn + $5 for a drink + $5 for Red Vines if it was showing in the theaters now? Negative. It’s a B movie from the 1980’s, but if my desktop abacus is not failing me, the money I save from not going to the theater could allow me to purchase some mental PEDs, which would make it an A +++ movie. Regardless, the movie did well enough at the time of its release that the powers in Hollywood spent money on making a sequel, Fletch Lives. As with most sequels, it wasn’t as good as the first, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Which brings me to David Fletcher of the Anaheim (definitely not in Los Angeles) Angels, who is the sequel to another David of Angels past. Will this sequel fail to live up as well?

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