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Who doesn’t enjoy a fun game. Personally I’m a big fan of both board games and card games. And if you couldn’t tell by my profile image, I am an avid Legend of Zelda fan. I have the tattoo on my shoulder to prove it. Just in case I ever need to prove it. For those that like card games I have a solid recommendation. The game is called Five Crowns and it’s pretty awesome. It’s best played with five players and a game will take about an hour, but it’s an hour well spent. And remember, the game isn’t over till the Kings go wild! In the meantime, however, I turn to your attention back to the game at hand. For those that need the rules, you can find them here.

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Have I mentioned how much I dislike standard issue head to head points leagues. I think I rambled a bit about the topic back in April, but I’m back for a second helping. Listen I understand that luck plays a role in many aspects of life and competition. Some say a little luck never hurt anyone. Tell that to they guy that ended up losing because that little bit of luck helped his opponent win. But ok, I can accept a little bit of luck. After all, it isn’t likely to be enough to negatively influence results over the long haul.

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A good salesman can sell ice to an eskimo. Notice I did not say honest salesman. I also said salesman instead of salesperson. Hopefully that did not offend my one female reader. After all, she does make up ten percent of my followers. Sorry token girl reader. Back to the guy that’s going to sell you a mattress when all you came into the store for was a pillow. For years, used car salesmen have been considered the prototypical charlatan. I’m not sure if charlatan is the right word, but I really want to use it, so it’s been crowbarred into today’s post.

What in Grey’s name does this have to do with fantasy baseball? One word. Trades. When making a trade in fantasy baseball, what we are really doing is selling one or more players in return for other player(s). Your opportunity to make a favorable trade relies upon your ability to sell your players for more than they are worth, or buy your opponents players for less than they’re worth. And if you can do both, perhaps you should open a used car lot. Razzcars! They sound fast.

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Before anyone accuses me of forgetting to replace the title of this post, slow your roll. That is the title. You don’t like it? Guess who doesn’t care. Yours truly. Sorry, but it’s true. I can only try so hard and this is me trying. So the 2016 MLB First-Year Player draft was last night. Once again, guess who doesn’t care. Once again, yours truly. Oh wait, I just thought of a better title. How about this one. What The Puk. Those were the words muttered by Harold Reynolds in reaction to A.J. Puk sliding to the sixth pick. I’ve got another. How about He’s a Moniak, Moniak on the floor? Ok, I’m done.

With the 2016 MLB All-Star game about a month away, voting is in full effect. I just voted and here is for whom I voted. I have no idea if that last sentence even resembles proper grammar, nor do I give a hoot.

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How do you like your eggs? Sonny side up or with a side of space cakes? I guess that depends if you’re from Oakland or Colorado. Speaking of space cakes, did you hear Tim Lincecum is making a comeback. In two minor league starts for the Salt Lake Bees he is 0-2 with 11 strikeouts, 5 walks and 5 earned runs in 10 innings. The only number I don’t like there is the five walks, but for a guy that hasn’t pitched since June 27 of last year perhaps these numbers aren’t that bad. Maybe Tiny Tim has something left in the tank. I’m not dropping anyone of consequence for him, but if I had a guy like Phil Hughes, Shelby Miller or Mike Fiers sitting on my bench, I might take shot on the two-time Cy Young Award winner. It’s a long shot, but you never know.

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As a life long New York Yankees fan it pains me to say it, but I’d rather own Red Sox players on my fantasy team. I have some friends that subscribe to the “fan before fantasy” philosophy, but I’m not drinking the cool-aid. I’m perfectly fine with rooting against the Yankees when doing so is in the best interest of my fantasy team. Carlos Beltran leads all hitters on the Yankees with 127 points. There are six Red Sox players ahead of Beltran. Those six players are David Ortiz (200), Mookie Betts (200), Xander Bogaerts (171), Dustin Pedroia (155), Jackie Bradley Jr. (148) and Travis Shaw (129). That’s two thirds of their starting lineup. The only player with more points than Ortiz and Betts is Jose Altuve with 216.

Total points is important, but by now you all know that I really like to use points per plate appearance to compare players. I’ve only mentioned it about 78 times this season. If I had to include last season I’d actually have to go back and count. Moving to PPPA , David Ortiz (0.966) actually moves ahead of Altuve (0.87). Betts, JBJ and Bogaerts are all in the top 25.

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Do you remember back when you were in school when you were walking into class and your buddy asked you how much you studied for today’s test and your immediate response was “oh sh!t” when you realized that you had completely forgotten about said test? You then spent about six minutes trying to “study” all the while knowing you were not going to fare all that well. But hey, you were going to give a shot. You could have just bailed on the class and figured out how to make up the exam, but not today. Well the “oh sh!t” thought is what went through my head about ten minutes ago when I remembered that tonight was Tuesday (not Monday) and I had to write you clowns a post about fantasy baseball. I considered packing it in, but then decided I was going to give it a go.

Let’s take a look at the players that lead the league in the fewest number of plate appearances to accomplish a stat…

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Okay, if I’m being honest, what I’ve attempted to do in this post is completely experimental. While based on statistics it’s really just a wild attempt to calculate which closers are bringing home the bacon. And by bacon, I mean points. And by points, I mean points. How many points is each closer going to get me (on average) in a given week. In other words, don’t try this at home. I’m not even doing this at home.

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goonies


Hey you guys!
 If you’re anything like me, you’ve seen Goonies about a hundred times. The movie is a legitimate classic, and according to the rumors, a sequel is in the works. If they are looking for someone to play Sloth, look no further than Julio Urias. Yes I know, that is awful, but I felt it had to be done. I know he had surgery on that eye last year, but maybe it was all part of the pre-production plans. Billy Butler can play Chunk. How about Masahiro Tanaka as Data and Frodo Baggins as Mikey. Sounds good to me. Now let’s get filming people!

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Don’t let the title fool you, I am by no means a Styx fan. I actually had to look up who sang this song when I decided to use it. Does anyone even say “look up” any more or has the term been officially replaced with “google”. Speaking of Google, whatever happened to the “I’m feeling lucky” button. I wonder how many times Clint Eastwood clicked that thing? I wonder if he sued Google to have the button removed. I have questions that need answers. In the meantime, let’s talk points leagues. For weeks I’ve been promising to focus on pitchers in one of these posts and today’s the lucky day. Do you feel lucky?

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jungho

If you walk out that door, you’re going to miss a great comeback. Hunt Stevenson kicked ass. And even though he didn’t actually meet the goal of 15,000 cars So Yamamura was so impressed with Hunt’s efforts that he declared his team successful. Just another example of a great 1980’s movie. Modern technology be damned, the 80’s was awesome. Speaking of awesome, let’s talk about the third baseman you’re going to wish you stashed on your DL if you don’t own one of Manny Machado, Nolan Arenado or Josh Donaldson. I refer to them collectively as the “Big 3B”. And no, there is no “Big 3A”. There’s the “Big 3A-holes”. That would be Justin Upton.

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Remember when Bryce Harper was the bee’s knees. The cat’s pajamas. The top dog. A lot can happen in two weeks. As a matter of fact, Harper’s not even in the top five. With 122 points he finds himself ranked 6th, tied with David Ortiz and Daniel Murphy. Both Ortiz and Murphy are sporting a slightly higher points per plate appearance (PPPA). However, Harper’s current PPPA (0.84) is more in line with what I’d expect out of him than Ortiz and Murphy, both of whom are due to regress.

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