by: Grey
The night was… humid. In the hospital hallway, Guillen was calling doctors, nurses and a janitor putas. I was by his bedside early in the day. We talked for a long time before he went under the knife. Talked about life, name changing and fantasy baseball. He understood how much I had invested in him […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Picture above ground, there’s different levels of air. In the first level of air, there’s number one outfielders. Ryan Braun, he’s a number one. He’s like a Macy’s Day Parade balloon, big and just off the ground. Then in the next level of air, there’s number two outfielders. We’re right above the world’s tallest buildings […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Phils decided they wanted to get younger for Friday’s game so they’re bringing up this guy from the minors. They say he’s got good power, but he’s been playing first base on a foot stool. At least they could’ve got Ryan Howard one of those giant Rawlings glove bean bags. So Howard’s Achilles is better, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“That guy looks vaguely familiar.” “Which guy?” “That guy on the mound.” “The Chris Tillman fella?” “Yeah.” “Did he used to serve us coffee at the Blue Danube?” “I don’t think so. That guy’s name was Ronnie. And he had dreads.” “But he was white.” “Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads. He looked […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
We talk at length about Tim Lincecum and Roy Oswalt. Then the Brandon Belt subject hits and I lose my cool with Bruce Bochy. Someone needs to shake some sense into that man’s ginormous head! Why can’t they just give Belt a shot? Did Belt make some crack directed towards Bochy that he couldn’t see […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Tim Lincecum has a 6.07 ERA. Seriously, we’re in July and Lincecum’s ERA is six point oh seven. There’s ugly. There’s brutal. There’s murderous. There’s the guy with the goiter down the street from you that you talked to at a red light once and now he wants to hang out. There’s what your mother did […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever. Because you never get on base, that’s the first step to going […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yasmani Grandal is starring in an off-off Broadway production of OBPwulf. Since everyone was supposed to read Beowulf, but no one has actually ever read it, the play starts with Grandal standing on first after a walk, and then he stands there and stands there and stands there, waiting for another Padre hitter to get him […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Let’s get in the Wayback Machine. Back in March, Zsa Zsa Gabor was still alive, there wasn’t a legitimate Republican candidate for the White House and Desmond Jennings had loads of potential. Now stepping out of the Wayback Machine we realize those three things are still true. Time keeps on slipping and Zsa Zsa keeps […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks. This year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Maybe you heard this one before? Yeah, of course you did. As Fran Drescher would tell you, it’s not whining, I’m nasally. In this very special episode of the Razzball Podcast, we have no guests. I know, bummer. Well, I asked you people to bother The Rasmus Girl on Twitter to get her to come […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?In a Hudson vs. Hudson battle, Tim won on a technicality as Daniel Hudson left the game with what seemed to be a forearm injury. To add insult to injury, he left the game after giving up 5 ER on 7 hits in 1 2/3 IP. With a ghastly 7.35 ERA in 45 IP this […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?