Brewers manager Craig Counsell announced Friday that after Thursday’s blown save, Neftali Feliz would be given a break from closer duties. Why are you like this, Craig? Do you not care about my fantasy team even a little? Feliz has blown just one save this season. Sure, he’s sporting an ugly 6.19 ERA, and 1.31 WHIP, and 4 losses but I didn’t draft him for his ratios! I drafted him for his those stinky, stinky saves. Mmmm. His eight of which currently leads my team! Regardless, Jared Hughes  (0.2 IP, SV (1)) notched the save last night for Milwaukee, but it sounds like ex-stuntman Corey Knebel will get the next chance. Corey is rocking a 1.00 ERA, 1.00 WHIP and 29/8 K/BB rate over 18.0 innings this season and seems like the most logical choice to replace Feliz mostly because Counsell mentioned Friday he’s been “outstanding.” That’s high praise from skip, folks! Hughes, Jacob Barnes and Oliver Drake could also see chances. This is not to say Feliz is out of the ninth inning role for good, but I could definitely see Corey running away with the job if he continues to pitch like he has been. If you’re looking for saves I’d add Evil Knebel everywhere, and if you’re looking for someone to jump over 20 mack trucks in a motorcycle, you might consider Bumgarner or maybe the another stunt guy.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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The fantasy gods have smiled upon Cody, my friends. Once feared that he would be sent back down with Joc Pederson’s return, Bellinger has been gifted another opportunity to prove he belongs in the MLB with Adrian Gonzalez miraculously hitting the DL (well, not so miraculous for A-Gone owners, I guess). And prove it he shall! Cody Bellinger continued to rake going  3-for-5 with two home runs (4) and 4 RBI last night. He’s hitting .400 with eight runs, four home runs, and nine RBI in the past week. Can Joc Pederson do dat? Nuh uh. Nah didn’t think so. Need more? He’s slashing .342/.390/.737 and the Dodgers are 6-2 with him in the line up. More? The Cranberries think that you have to, you have to, you have to add Bellinger. After batting .343 with five homers, 15 RBI and 7 steals in AAA this season it is clear Cody is more than ready to make some noise in the bigs. Whoa did you say seven steals! That’s right! We haven’t even seen him flash that speed yet, and when he does, fantasy glory can be ours. Grey has been telling you to BUY Bellinger for a few weeks now, and he’s still available in about 60% of ESPN leagues. He could be the Yasiel Puig-like player that’s not Yasiel Puig-like that the Dodgers and your fantasy team so desperately needs right now.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Astros corner infielder Yulieski Gurriel continues to mash going 3-for-4 with 2 runs, his second home run and two RBI. Opposing pitchers be like, why you all up in my Gurriel, Yuli? When you’re on fire and everyone knows you’re flame. The Gurriel is hot, where da burgers and dogs at? Dude is  hitting .436 (17-for-39) over the past two weeks with 7 runs, 2 homers and 6 RBI. Sure he hit just .260 with 3 homers and 15 RBI in 36 games last year with Houston, but he ALSO hit .500 with 15 homers in 50 games in Cuba in 2016 which are the better stats that I will cherry-pick for the purposes of this blurb. I’m just saying it’s not like this success is coming out of nowhere. He’s a good Gurriel and he knows it, and he’s batting 6th in a stacked Houston lineup. If we take a look at some of the advanced metrics (NERD!), the .371 BABIP may unsustainable, but fantasy is about riding streaks and Yuli Gurriel is a hot little potato right now. Grey told you to BUY and he’s available in about 75% of leagues. Pick him up you only Yuli once! Whoa, now that’s two Drake references in the same lede. That’s how you know it’s going to be a good day!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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There’s no denying that Madison Bumgarner works hard. Well, he plays even harder. So it should have come as no surprise when news broke that the San Francisco ace was placed on the disabled list after injuring his left shoulder in a dirt bike accident. Wait. You were doing WHAT? But why!? You can’t expect Madison to get his kicks doing regular pleb things like playing Xbox or frisbee golf, it’s gotta be EXTREME. Regardless, this is a huge blow for Giants fans and Bumgarner owners alike. Madison is sporting a 3.00 ERA, 1.07 WHIP and 28/4 K/BB rate through four starts and early reports suggest he is set to miss over two months. Bummer. But honestly, what do you want from the guy? For him to not participate in dangerous extreme sports on his days off? I mean, come on, his hands were tied. Ty Blach is set to fill in the interim. Blach and his just 21.2 innings of major league experience. Blach is a ground ball pitcher with just a 13.4% strikeout rate, so he’s probably not the answer to your Bumgarner woes. More like, Ty Blech, right? Lol. He is slated to take on the Dodgers next week, but if you’re feeling dangerous you’d likely be better off dirt biking than picking up Ty Blach outside of deep NL-Only leagues. Here’s hoping at the very least Bumgarner got some sick air.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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The Braves opened up their new park in style last night and Ender Inciarte began the charge going 2-for-4 with his third home run and two RBI. It’s a new year and new park and with that comes and new line of over-the-top ballpark food. Come for the cannolis, craft beer and 5 lb pork chop sandwich, stay for the Braves win. Speaking of winners, this was Ender’s Game and we were all just alien Buggers living in this crazy war-torn universe, preparing for the next Invasion against the Fleet. Just ignore that the book/movie is subliminally telling you to hate the gays and eat at Chic-fil-a. Inciarte must be a “Third.” Ender has the privilege of being the first player in SunTrust park history to collect a hit, score a run, and hit a home run. That’s right, folks, Inciarte is officially the greatest hitter in SunTrust Park history. In addition, he’s now homered in back-to-back games after hitting two bombs on Wednesday and Ender has been known to get hot quick. In 131 games last year, Ender hit .291 with 3 homers and 16 stolen bases. He’s already matched his 2016 homer total! That’s gotta be a good sign, right!? He’s available in about 40% of ESPN leagues, and if he’s still out there I’d grab him while the Braves are still undefeated at home. This might not last long. Come on Atlanta, let’s give him the chop!

Here what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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I’ve been waiting here at my computer crunching advanced sabremetrics in hyper-suspended cryogenic animation since we last spoke a la Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence in Passengers, and yes, that was 100% an effort to shoe horn two of Hollywood’s most famous people into my lede for clicks. I may have had six months off, but I still know how to get those sweet, zesty page views. San Diego Padres outfielder slash hot shot prospect slash fastest man alive, Manuel Margot showed many why he’s so highly touted last night with a 2-for-4 night, including two home runs out of the lead off spot. So what happened while I was gone? The Cubs won what, you say? No way! And who is president? You are messing with me. Another Drake album!? How does he have the time? Well, Manny Margs is now slashing .263/.333/.632 with two homers, three RBI and a stolen base on the young season. Wait, did someone say–stolen base? Yeah, you did, ya joker. Ess Bees are basically the reason you drafted Margot. This doode can fly. The big return for San Diego in the Craig Kimbrel trade, he stole 30 bases in 517 ABs at AAA (.304/.351/.426). His speed and defense should ensure he gets plenty of playing time this year, and leading off for the ‘Dres makes him a player to own. A razzball preseason sleeper, he’s under 50% owned in ESPN leagues right now, but I see that number climbing real quickly after last night’s performance. Like, do your best Manuel Margot impression and go grab him quickly. Grey told you to BUY and if you got a need for speed pick him up before I do!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball…

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Mets outfielder Michael Conforto was 2-for-3 last night, scoring two runs with his 12th home run, and three RBI. Could this be the start of something big? Who’s Conforto, you ask? Lol, you pleb–Don’t you know anything? He’s just an uber prospect for the New York Mets.  *Sips cold brew coffee, adjust horn rimmed glasses, strokes beard* Sigh. You’ve probably never heard of him. Have I mentioned he’s the hipster’s favorite player? Do I really have to mention that? The man hit .365 with four homers, 11 doubles and 18 RBI in April, then completely fell of the planet. He was busy working on his documentary film/visual novel/app for dogs. Sitting in an abandoned warehouse turned secret speakeasy/corn hole arena/craft cider house/live-bluegrass music cafe, I sip my gluten-free organic cold brew coffee (cage-free beans, obv) and curl my finely waxed mustache, pondering what life would be like with a fantasy baseball championship. I put down my Gabriel García Márquez book (I only read South American novelists), let my hair free out of its man-bun, and realize that Michael Conforto could be the key to everything. All that magical realism is really paying off! Sure, he struggled mightily all year, and sure, Jay Bruce threatens to steal some of his playing time. But Bruce is also 2-for-31 (.065 BA) in the past two weeks, and Conforto’s got all the upside. If I were you, and I’m not, because I’m obviously way hipper than you, I’d grab Michael Conforto, who’s available in about 90% of fantasy leagues, before he gets hot. In fact, this could only make you cooler because when he does finally break out, that means you picked him up before he was cool. And there’s nothing cooler than that!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Oakland rookie third baseman Ryon Healy continued to rake Friday night as he collected two hits and scored a run to extend his hitting streak to seven, with six multi-hit games in that span. Sometimes I get fantasy advice from good friend of mine and rapper 50 Cent, who is a much better fantasy baseballer than he is a real baseballer. In between freestyle seshs, Fitty says to me, “Yo D (he calls me D), you gotta get on Ryon Healy, if you been Patiently Waiting for a decent corner, dude is a P.I.M.P., get rich and buy Ryon, do-you-know-what-I-am-saying?” OK, thanks, Fitty. Not a bad headline either…also, funny, how you plugged a bunch of your songs there, but I guess these be tough times. He’s right though. Healy has been a certified G-Unit soldier in the month of September, batting .400, with 9 runs, 4 homers, 5 doubles and 12 RBI. If that ain’t a wanksta, I don’t know what is. Honestly, I really don’t. Is it bad or good? Regardless, in the past week the rookie has been very, very good. He’s hitting .517 with 8 runs, 3 homers and 9 RBI. That’s in seven days, people! How many more fantasy days left? Can’t be much more than seven, so sounds like Ryon Healy could be a nice player to own down the stretch. He was a BUY this week and I picked him up! 50 grabbed him too and he’s available in about 80% of leagues. Hate it or love it, pick him up if you want to win!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

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Houston’s 32-year old Cuban rookie Yulieski Gurriel was 2-for-4 with his first stolen base Friday night. Or is it Guerriel? Gourriel? Don’t worry about spelling his name correctly, the media sure doesn’t–what’s important is Friday’s two hit night capped off an impressive week for the third baseman where he hit .321 with four runs, two home runs and drove in five runs. Debuting at the end of August, Yulieski got off to a slow start after struggling with a mild hamstring injury, but that looks to be a thing of the past and he’s now hit safely in his last six games, and has homered in two of his last three games. Players like Yulieski require praise, they demand it. As soon as manager A.J. Hinch let him know he was a good Gurriel, and started rewarding him with treats (he really likes Combos) Yulieski turned it on. Atta Gurriel! Yes, you are! Who’s a good Gurriel? You arrrre! Yulieski was less than impressive during his short minors stint (.250/.262/.429 line with two home runs and 14 RBI in 15 games), but he bat .500 with 15 homers in 50 games in Cuba last year which is a about as good as it sounds, so there is little doubt our boy is major league ready. Did you read Grey’s Yulieski Gurriel fantasy? I read it while conducting a scientific tasting of all the different Combos flavors. Pepperoni pizza won in a landslide. Lord Byron Buxton will be the hot-shot rookie pick up of the week, and by all means, if he’s available grab him, but Gurriel could be a nice add if you lost the Buxton sweepstakes, and he’s still out there in over 80% of leagues. I’d own him in any league where wanted to win. Yulieski can do it!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Mookie Betts was 5-for-5 and drove in two runs Friday night. It was the first five-hit game of his career and the number of pets in New England being named Mookie is climbing quicker than his batting average. Let me gush about Betts for a minute, even though it might be tough because I know Xander is reading. (Do not worry, you are still my number 1, Awesome-X.) Mookie is slashing .320/.360/.557 with 28 homers, 93 RBI, 21 steals, and 99 runs scored. He is the only reason I am winning anything fantasy baseball this year and he is an early favorite for AL MVP. I tell all my real life friends, who are definitely all real life humans and not people I just made up for the purposes of the post, that Mookie Betts is my spirit animal. However, I was recently told I can’t say this because I’m not Native American and if you ain’t Native you can’t have spirit animals. That’s their thing. Quit trying to take their thing. Well, I just did San Pedro cactus and tripped out in the desert last weekend, does that mean I’m a real native now or nah? At the very least I’d hold it makes me much more spiritual. In the past two weeks, Betts is hitting .387 with 12 runs scored, 5 homers, 18 RBI and 3 steals. If those numbers don’t bring you existential enlightenment, I’m not sure a psychedelic cactus or a sweat lodge will either. He’s hitting close to .400 in August as he attempts to carry the Sawx to the promised land aka the postseason. In addition, since moving from lead off to clean up over the past week and a half he’s only gotten better, slashing .400/.455/.550 with two jacks and 8 RBI. I love Mookie Betts more than I could ever love a human baby. I think I am feeling more spiritual already.

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