Unlucky 13 Royals Left For Dead In House On Haunted Rich Hill

May 26, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 431 Comments

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Those pitching last night: Clayton Kershaw vs. Zack Greinke. Two surefire Hall of Famers, one who will give the shortest Hall of Fame speech on record. Also, pitching last night: future first ballot Hall of Famers, Jacob deGrom and Max Scherzer. Two more must watch: Cy Young candidates, Corbin Burnes and Joe Musgrove, toeing the rubber to go against each other. All in one night. That’s what we had yesterday. And the best pitching performance was the 41-year-old, 88 MPH hurler, Rich Hill aka Dick Mountain aka Dick n’ Blisters. That’s why baseball is incredible! Predict that shizz! Yesterday, Rich Hill went 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.63. His perfs (the kids call them that — the kids younger than Hill) 10 K/9, 3 BB/9, and almost exactly pitching to his ERA, as his luck has been virtually neutral. Will it continue? Well, since he saved his arm by taking all of his 30s off for blisters, maybe? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Watch Hiura Back

May 25, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 535 Comments

by: Grey

Let’s take one more victory lap around my standing desk prior to moving on for good. A hirsute Donkey Teeth said to me in March, “I need a bold prediction from you for this season.” I wrote back, “That they’ll let you within 500 feet of a school.” He wrote back, “About baseball.” I wrote back, “The school will have a baseball team?” He wrote back, “Major League Baseball.” I wrote back, “Venmo me $100 for wasting my time.” Then, after a week back-and-forth, I said the first bold prediction that came to my mind: Keston Hiura‘s batting average would bottom out and he’d be demoted. He was going in the first 50 picks of drafts. This was not a willy and/or nilly bold prediction. People loved Keston Hiura. After that bold prediction, I doubled down, and he was my first sell of the season, telling you to get rid of him the day after Opening Day. *begins to pant* Okay, I’m winded, victory lap over. Keston Hiura (1-for-3, 1 run) was recalled yesterday, and I picked him up in all leagues. I, Mr. Don’t Draft Keston, picked him up? Yes, because now his price isn’t a 4th round pick, but free. Free’s good. Hiura still had strikeout issues in the minors — 34.2%, which is honestly laughably bad. If his price weren’t free, I’d prolly pass. It’s funny how many people are now suddenly excited about Hiura when he seems to have exactly the same problem. Serious question: Are the Brewers capable of teaching how to not strikeout? *looks randomly at their entire team* Forget it, I can answer myself. So, grab Hiura for the speed/power, but don’t be surprised if he still hits in the .180 range. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Austin Powers: The Riley Who Four-Bagged Me

May 24, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 585 Comments

by: Grey

Maybe I’m just a guy that puts feety pajamas on over his head. Maybe I walk into a Subway and ask a sandwich artist, “Do you smell onions?” Maybe I stare at people playing Jenga and try to move the pieces with telekinesis. Maybe I pronounce the D in Django. Maybe I call diner waitresses “Sweetheart” and old guys “Sonny.” Maybe I could be wrong, but Austin Riley (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, hitting .320) feels like he’s headed to be a top 25 player drafted next year. In December of last year, I wrote an Austin Riley sleeper. I have hand eyes like in Pan’s Labyrinth, and those hands are pressed up against Statcast. I said in that sleeper that Riley was a guy who could be drafted after 250 and have top 50 overall value. It was December and I wrote that in November, so while I was very fortune tellery to foresee Austin Riley, his ADP was 202th overall in NFBC, not 250. Still huge value if the top 50 value comes to fruition. As I mentioned last week, he flattened his swing a lot, becoming more of a .280 hitter, than the .240 one he was coming into the year. The only question mark now is with a flatter swing, can he still homer? This week’s six homers does a good job of saying flatter does not make the ironing bored. Pun…and a miss! Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy Vidal So Soon

May 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 569 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

“If you don’t look good, I don’t look good,” said famed hairstylist Vidal Sassoon, as he was trying to get his son, Bob, to take off denim overalls and put on something else. Affronted, Bob Sassoon later took on his father’s hair empire, literally head-on, when Bob started manufacturing baby wigs. “When they emerge from the womb, they should look da bomb,” said Bob Sassoon, managing to make that awkward bomb/womb rhyme. Unfortunately, his baby wig business went belly up after two months with loses totaling twelve million dollars. The story, thankfully, doesn’t end there for the Sassoons. A disgraced Bob changed his last name to Brujan, and named his firstborn son, Vidal, vowing now to capture the hair dye/shampoo market. Again, much to Bob’s chagrin, Vidal Brujan became a baseball player, not a hair stylist, and Bob again disowned a Vidal right before he was about to become wildly successful. Any hoo! Here’s what Prospect Itch has said about Brujan previously, “It’s rare enough for a 40-steal player to enter our game. Even rarer to find one who hits enough to earn himself regular playing time. Rarer still to find one who speaks five languages. I mention this last piece because language learning requires the same determination needed for the grind of baseball. You’re going to make mistakes. Might look like an idiot. Might often feel dumb. But you have to keep putting yourself out there. And as long as you stay positive and focus on the long term, you can improve a little bit every day. In 2014, Tampa signed Brujan out of the Dominican Republic for $15,000. He was illiterate at the time. Now: five languages. Grey can’t speak one.” Tough but fair, tee bee aitch. Brujan is on the 40-man roster and coming our way very soon. He will be an immediate impact guy for fantasy in all leagues, and should be picked up now. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Giants Maul Mal Mahle

May 21, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 310 Comments

by: Grey

Hello darkness, my old friend…I sing to the T. Mahle coming out my butt a day after eating Chipotle is this enough details for you I can’t even punctuate I’m so miserable. WHAT THE EFF, Tyler Mahle (2 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.20)? 4.20 is right because I want to get high to numb the pain. Eff me, that was brutal. Maybe I can sit down again in June. Right now I’m too sore from ingesting that T. Mahle. One of those Giants buggers, Steven Duggar (2-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) and his 2nd homer, and on top of that Mahle shelllacking — yes, I’m still on that! — no one on the Giants is anywhere near my teams, except Tauchman and he didn’t even play. Holy sit! Darrin Ruf (4-for-5, 4 runs 2 RBIs) hit his 6th homer. Ruf’s having one of those years where you wouldn’t dare pick him up in mixed leagues, but is having a great deep NL-Only year, considering he was picked up off waivers, which is what I tell myself when I want to feel pain, because I dropped Ruf the 2nd week of the season in a 12-team NL-Only league. Haha, I am sucking it up, folx! Also, in on the action is Brandon Crawford (3-for-6, 3 runs, 6 RBIs, hitting .261) and his 11th homer. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy column as he’s been for the last few weeks. I almost removed him because he really shouldn’t be on waivers, and I think it’s just ESPN fantasy baseballers being goofy. If you want to see the Buy/Sell now, subscribe to our Patreon. Next up, Evan Longoria (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .248) hit his 5th homer, and the Giants are the best team in the majors. Welcome to 2021. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

CK None

May 20, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 451 Comments

by: Grey

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We have six no-hitters by May 19th. Seven no-hitters is a modern-day season record. At this point, it will be more novel when someone throws a ten-hitter. Soon we’ll be celebrating: Kyle Gibson just threw a 7-hitter! He allowed hits! Never is now, Mr. Gibson! This is like 2001 and Barry Bonds is throwing a no hitter every game. Conspiracy Theory Alert! Rob Manfred is going to use this year to explain why the mound has to move back a foot next year, and then we’re going to have our first 100-homer season. I will bet someone this happens. We’re thinking small, Rob Manfred’s evil mind is thinking big picture. Or pitcher, in this case, because only jacked guys will be able to reach the plate. So, Corey Kluber (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.86) threw a no-hitter against his old club, the Rangers. Not the other team that the Rangers killed. The question for us is Corey Kluber fixed. Or at least usable, which I honestly had questions about coming into the year. His numbers look number two to three-ish. He’s not an ace — 9 K/9, 3.6 BB/9, 4.17 xFIP, using xFIP there because I do believe he’s been a tad ‘lucky’ on homers. It’s solid, usable, and rosterable, which is what I say before he throws a consecutive no-hitter next time because: 2021. By the way, Johnny Vander Meer’s family moving his crypt from stadium to stadium this year must be exhausting, and there’s no way Johnny Vander Meer’s record makes it out of 2021. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Charles Barkley Sums Up Tigers’ Starter And M’s Bats In No-Hitter As “They’re Both Turnible”

May 19, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 422 Comments

by: Grey

They should have a contest where one lucky fan tries to no-hit the Mariners. Yesterday, Spencer Turnbull no-hit the Mariners (9 IP, 0 ER, 2 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.88), because the Mariners are being no-hit every day of the week that ends in Y. Armando Galarraga called and said big whoop. Yo, he sounds bitter. Didn’t they give Armando Galarraga a car after his kinda perfect game? They should give Spencer Turnbull a salmon thrown to him by someone in Seattle wearing rubber boots. How about teams that have a team batting average under .205 get to use the juiced ball? Sure, it’s an arbitrary rule, but so is the dropped third strike rule if you think about it. So, I hope you used the Streamonator that told you to start Turnbull. Beyond that, Turnbull looks like he’s, uh, turned a corner. He’s throwing his offspeed stuff more, and results are good: 8.1 K/9, 2.1 BB/9, 2.75 FIP, so close to neutral luck outside of home runs allowed, but he doesn’t allow homers ever. He’s not an ace, but that’s a usable number three to four, and since the no-hitter happened after I wrote the original opening, you’re getting a special treat today. A double lede! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mad Huascar Smashes His Way To Be His Own IL-Land

May 18, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 476 Comments

by: Grey

Huascar Ynoa fractured his hand and he will be out for a couple of months. He hurt himself when he punched a bench. I wonder if he exclaimed, “Sonavabench!” How now Kevin Brown. Blergh, I’m a big dummy, my name is Huascar Ynoa. By the way, the title refers to Madagascar, the island nation that accounts for 80% of the world’s natural vanilla. The other 20% is Larry Bird, Tom Arnold and Tim Allen. Ynoa’s tanked so fast after my Friday Sell, that I didn’t even get a chance to bust out my pronunciation of Ynoa so it rhymes with quinoa. Bye-bye, Yeewah, was nice Ynoa’ing ya. Starting tomorrow in Ynoa’s stead will be Tucker Davidson, who sounds like a game show host. Tucker, show them what they won…A mid-90s MPH fastball that he throws 75% of the time? That can’t be right. Looks like he’s got a wipeout curve, and is seen as a middle reliever long term, but for now he’s a streamer, though Ynoa anyone can surprise. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hendricks Shrugs Off Rocky Start By Keeping Eye On The Tigers

May 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 582 Comments

by: Grey

First off, it was against the Tigers. Let’s be clear here — hey, I’m a poet and aware of it! — the Tigers are laughably bad. Yet, again with some stank, YET! Kyle Hendricks (8 IP, 1 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.27) looked fix. Hendfixed? Hmm, will work on that. Kyle Whenfixed? Okay, they’re getting worse. He(ndricks) had a season-high 30 called strikes and the most called strikeouts (7) by a pitcher in the majors this year. He looked exactly like what we expect from him, just hitting the same outside corner, over and over and, well, you know. Call him Dutchboy because he was just painting! Also, the good news gets gooder (better?) the digger you deep–Uh oh, GreyBot3000 is breaking down, must recharge…*fills mouth with boba*…Let’s go! Hendricks’s ‘luck’ should continue to get better too. Terrible BABIP of .338, when his career high is .296, which was way back in 2015. His home runs are also out of control for his career, and, brucely, for the entire league. There’s no way he’s dealing with a deadened ball and giving up his worst number home runs, unless his command is bad, and it was. Until yesterday. It looks like the Hendfixed might be in. By the way, saw Ryan Hendrix pitch yesterday, and how many goddamn ways are they going to spell that last name? Hendrickx is next. Only requirement is you have to pitch and have an Irishy first name (Kyle, Ryan, Liam). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And Buy Hungry Like A SAGNOF

May 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 503 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

When I saw Jarren Duran running from 2nd to home the other day in a minor league game, I thought to myself, with a trademark stammer, “This Duran…Duran looks like he could come undone.” With rookies, sometimes it’s like I’m on a ride and I want to get off, but Duran…Duran won’t slow down the roundabout. The instincts, the…the reflex. The reflex! I’m pleading with the Red Sox, “Why don’t you use him?” While hoping Duran…Duran stays healthy and does not bruise it. The reflex! Are they buying time? Don’t lose it, Red Sox, you have the lead. Have you seen him, girls? On film? He’s wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys. By not calling up prospects, are they trying to break us? Looks like they’ll try again. Luckily, wild boys never lose it. I need prospects, and I’m hungry like a wolf! Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo–Okay, enough with 80’s on 8. Shut off that classic MTV. With Jarred Kelenic up, the next Jarr is Jarren Duran, and I’m gonna be singing Chingy, “Right Jarr, right Jarr.” Jarren Duran is so gee-dee fast. Not sure if you’ve seen him yet, but I watched him for the first time last week and was like, “If this guy doesn’t hit .230, he will be a top 50 fantasy contributor for a handful of years.” He’s got easy 30 steal speed, and if the Red Sox push him, and he hits well, he could steal 45+. He looks like Treat Urner when he first came up, i.e., not a ton of power, but it’s not a huge knock, he’ll give a few knocks. The Red Sox need an arm more than a bat, but it’s just silly for them to keep Duran down in the minors much longer. He’s immediately better than Enrique Hernandez or whoever they have at leadoff right now. I’d grab him in every league to stash. He’s wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys! Anyway, here’s more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seattle’s Best Prospects

May 14, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 304 Comments

by: Grey

If you have friends that are Mets fans, yesterday was a difficult day. Please check in on them. Meanwhile, Brodie Van Wagenen will be drinking George Clooney’s tequila with Jay-Z while the Mariners game is on behind them at the Soho House, and Brodie won’t even know Jarred Kelenic is playing.

Extreme Jay-Z voice: Whoa, didn’t you trade away this guy?
BVV: Hova, Robbie Cano looked great.
Extreme Jay-Z voice: So soulful.

The Mariners were the talk of the MLB town yesterday with Logan Gilbert and Jarred Kelenic debuting. The bad news first, Logan Gilbert (4 IP, 4 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks). Okay, serious question, does Logan Gilbert throw ground balls or is that like not cool? He should consider ground balls, or at least mullet over. The problem with rookie pitchers — besides roofies — I don’t have eyes on them until they’re called up, and others who do have eyes on them, are seeing them go against minor leaguers. In every minor league lineup, there’s at least, what, five easy outs? There were moments when Gilbert looked like he could be an ace, and there were moments when I wasn’t sure why I picked him up in a 12-team mixed league. One start does not a career make; don’t make me point out how Clayton Kershaw had a terrible rookie year. He settled in as the game went along, stopped throwing only fastballs, and looked solid. You might consider streaming out of him in shallower leagues, you might hold him. Feels situational in shallower leagues. As usual, rookie pitchers not always worth the headache. Rookie hitters, how’sever, well, Jarred Kelenic can be a future star, and by future I mean starting today. It’s very encouraging the M’s hit him leadoff — I guess they like what they saw with his glove in the minors this year — and I’m completely, 100% still a smitten kitten on Kelenic. Let the good times roll, preferably right over me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seattle Ready To Rip Off Their Hulk Logan Gilbertmania Shirt

May 13, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 523 Comments

by: Grey

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Roofies are real and they are not good. When you wake up after five hours and you’re missing a kidney? That’s a roofie. They’re a rookie pitcher who just decimates your ratios and leaves you wandering around for a light switch, only to realize you no longer have an arm. Though, you do have a hand, which is just puzzling. Yo, you T-Rex? With that said, rookie pitcher phenom Logan Gilbert is coming up. Prospect Itch just gave you the skinny, “If you’re going to hold one pitching prospect hoping he might come up and help your club, Gilbert should be that gottfried. He’s got a big league starter’s pitch mix and command, and he’ll be coming up to a hot club with pretty strong defense in a nice pitcher’s park. Speaking of which, I’d like to park my Subaru on Grey.” Okay, not sure what that’s about. I don’t say this lightly, but Logan Gilbert could win the AL ROY. Will he? What, I should sell my soul for future advice about a stupid MLB award? Get out of here! You sell your soul if you want to know! I’m just saying Gilbert’s plus command and strikeout ability makes him a must grab. I did in my RCL, and I would do it again! Though, I’m only in one RCL, so not sure how I can do it again. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4942 posts

Unlucky 13 Royals Left For Dead In House On Haunted Rich Hill

Watch Hiura Back

Austin Powers: The Riley Who Four-Bagged Me

Buy Vidal So Soon

Giants Maul Mal Mahle

CK None

Charles Barkley Sums Up Tigers’ Starter And M’s Bats In No-Hitter As “They’re Both Turnible”

Mad Huascar Smashes His Way To Be His Own IL-Land

Hendricks Shrugs Off Rocky Start By Keeping Eye On The Tigers

And Buy Hungry Like A SAGNOF

Seattle’s Best Prospects

Seattle Ready To Rip Off Their Hulk Logan Gilbertmania Shirt