Ray Dropping Golden Sun On White Sox

June 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 462 Comments

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Robbie Ray is using Spider Tack, but not to make the baseball sticky. He’s using it to apply his pants. Robbie Ray’s pants are so young, they haven’t even been born yet. Robbie Ray doesn’t dress in the morning, he paints. Don’t know what I’m talking about?

Jays could at least play along and change Robbie Ray’s uniform number to 69 pic.twitter.com/dPPRlbvMs8

— Razzball (@Razzball) June 9, 2021

So, Robbie Ray had another great outing last night — 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 3.36. Amazing that Robbie Ray fixed himself by just throwing strikes, but that’s exactly what has happened. Feels way longer than most guys who suddenly become strike throwers — Max Scherzer and Randy Johnson come to mind. Randy was obviously much closer to Ray’s transformation; Max’s command wasn’t that bad. Good that someone finally got through to Ray, because his stuff was so good all he needed to do was pump it into the zone and let hitters try to hit it. They haven’t, and Ray’s extraneous balls have disappeared. Um, ya know what I mean. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Angels Went Wacko On JacKo

June 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 342 Comments

by: Grey

Did everyone enjoy the All-Star Game? Wait, that’s not for another month? Why was there only three games yesterday then? Was it a holiday? RobManberance Day? A national day of remembrance about how Rob Manfred is an idiot? Stop for a moment, lower your head and silently remember to yourself how stupid Rob Manfred is. A Boob Manfraud, forever amen. So, with so few games, we get to really dive in on Jackson Kowar‘s debut. Man, did he suck (2/3 IP, 4 ER). I kid. But not entirely. Jackson was too jacked up. It happens. He couldn’t throw anything for a strike, due to adrenaline. Easy 97 MPH fastball, and a nasty change, that either was four feet over the batter’s head, or dead-center in the strike zone. Prospect Itch texted me some extra info, “Curve is more 50 than plus, but it still helps him a lot. It’ll come down to fastball command, which was there for him this year in the minors, just not last night, obviously. Think he could be successful on the rookie arm spectrum.” Then I texted, “Right, so Shane McClanahan, i.e., terrible or great or both, like every rookie pitcher?” And he texted back, “Yeah, McClanahan-ish.” Then I texted, “Glad we were able to do this without you threatening me.” Then he texted, “I’ve been using this exchange for GPS tracking, and I’m outside your home.” Then I typed random letters, so he’d see “…” which gave me time to escape out the back of my house. For what it’s Cronenworth, the Prospectonator (that projects every rookie) hates Kowar, and I see him mostly as a streamer in shallower leagues, so Streamonator. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Three Rips Van Winker

June 7, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Comments

by: Grey

You heard of Mrs. Dash? An all-powerful seasoning that you sprinkle on anything, and it makes it better. It’s crack…for your tongue! (May not be the actual slogan.) Now, if you swing already produces a great hard hit rate, you don’t want to tweak it too much. It’s already tasty. Only thing you can sprinkle on it to elevate it is a little bit more Launch Angle. Jesse Winker (3-for-4, 6 RBIs and 3 homers (15, 16, 17), hitting .350) is a classic example of what happens when a guy who hits the ball hard, tweaks his swing just a tad so the ball coming off his bat is just tad more elevated. Winker didn’t go full-Gallo on his Launch Angle. Just a smidge. A dash of wonderful, which if why I will now call him Mr. Dash. He elevates at the dish, and the crack of his bat is crack…for your fantasy team! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let Buy Gonsolin Be Buy Gonsolins

June 4, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 486 Comments

by: Grey

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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Hearing nary a peep on Tony Gonsolin. I have my ear up to the computer screen for Tony Gonsolin questions, and, instead of Tony Gonsolin questions, all I hear is the 100 monkeys fighting over 99 typewriters in the other room, as they type up this reprot–Give Ling-Ling the typewriter! He’s Spellchecker Monkey! Sorry, it’s not easy being the monkey meditator. Maybe in the past two months people forgot the excitement over Tony Gonsolin, so due to some lazy-ass monkeys who I’m…*screams into other room*…about to fire, let’s just look at what I wrote in my Tony Gonsolin sleeper from this past preseason, “Tony Gonsolin has some kind of special numbers when it comes to contact rates. Ace-like. Just the Swinging Strike rate (14%) and the Swing rate (50.9) alone. To put that to you in real world terms, he’s around the strike zone, and hitters are ready to get on him, until the ball falls out of the zone and they miss.” In that post I compare him to Plesac and Maeda, which seems silly now, but you have to remember those guys are less good this year because they lost their command somewhere. If Gonsolin has his command, and in the rehab starts it looks he does, he could be at worst a fantasy number two to three for another 75 IP this year. Grab hmm! *screams into other room* Him! Him! Not hmm! That’s it, no bananas for anyone! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Nats Can’t Nip Tucker

June 4, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 245 Comments

by: Grey

Prospect Itch started touting Tucker Davidson in 2019, then added this year, “A hard-throwing lefty with command issues.” Just about sums up Tucker Davidson, doesn’t it? If you saw the clip of him this winter at Driveline, you know why his name is Tucker, because he was throwing in his underwear. He doesn’t jam hitters, he will Jame hitters, as in Jame Gumb. Tucker Davidson isn’t a game show host, he’s a Jame show host. He doesn’t just drop in a 79 MPH curve, he puts it in a basket and lowers it into a hole. His stuff — well, impressive, but nine of ten dentists agree there will be caveats. Since it was one of two games on early yesterday, I watched Davidson (5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 5 BBs, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.31), and he looks like he is a bad luck start away from a 2/3 IP, 7 ER outing with very little idea where the ball is going. Luckily, the hitters don’t really know either. Could see using the Streamonator, and maybe risking it all for the rookie nookie, but he’s dangerous, due to his command. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dodgers Expose C-Mart’s Belly Button – It’s An Outing Not An Inning

June 3, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 419 Comments

by: Grey

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”790155″ player=”10951″ title=”RZBL%202021%20WAIVER%20WIRE%20WEEK%209″ duration=”153″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2021-05-28″ thumbnailurl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/thumb/790155_t_1622165618.png” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/790155.mp4″]

We used to have a glossary term for when one of your hitters hits a home run off one of your pitchers: “f***ing your stepsister.” We removed it I believe because it was too vulgar, but we have a shirt in our Razzball store that reads, “Fantasy Baseball: Something To Do Between Masturbation Sessions,” so too vulgar feels like it left the station a while ago. Any hoo! I don’t have a stepsister, but yesterday we were grinding, baby! After dinner, I was like, “Excuse me, my much older cougar wife,” as I dabbed my face with a wet nap, “I need to check to see how Carlos Martinez is doing. What’s that? He sucks? Sure, Cougs, but someone’s gotta suck in this marriage and it ain’t me or you.” Haha, we laughed, then I added, “How bad could he possibly suck?” That was when my world began to crumble, while also putting the moves on my nonexistent stepsister, because Cody Bellinger (2-for-4, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 1st homer) knocked in 6 runs in the 1st inning before I could put my teeth back in my mouth. I knocked them out when I saw Carlos Martinez’s line (2/3 IP, 10 ER, ERA at 5.83). Well, I’m glad Cody Bellinger is back and producing, I only wish it didn’t involve step-siblings. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Philadelphia Hit 7 Bombs But An Alec Ain’t One

June 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 460 Comments

by: Grey

I’m not a conspiracy theory guy. Sure, I think Big Onion made onion rings circular rather than like French fries because they want you to use more onions with each fried treat, but other than that, and maybe 1,500 other conspiracies, I am pretty grounded in reality. Okay, I also expect to see Kate Winslet jumping on a trampoline at a Sixers’ halftime dressed as Mare of Easttown, but reality. It’s where I am, except I truly believe Great American Ballpark is somehow stuck in 2019. Balls are still flying out there. Maybe it’s the one park where they didn’t secretly instill a humidor. Either way, yesterday was bomb-ass Philly over spaghetti in Cincy. Andrew McCutchen (2-for-3, 4 RBIs, hitting .209) hit his 8th and 9th homer, and finally moved out of the leadoff spot. Great Awakenings, literally with Joe Girardi. Next up, Odubel Herrera (3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs, 3rd and 4th homer) was moved to the top of the order, and should now move on even the shallowest league’s radar. Then, Rhys Hoskins (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) hit his 12th homer, and he’s filling in for Bryce quite nicely as the three-hole hitter — Rhys is Brycely? Hmm, not bad. Even Ronald Torreyes (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, 1st homer) got into the act. And I thought Torreyes were just in a sunken place. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baez & Wisdom Treat San Diego To Chicago Style And Go Deep At the Dish

June 1, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 411 Comments

by: Grey

Hope everyone had an Ian Happy Memorial Day, only without that schmohawk and all the other Cubs. One, which would’ve been nice is Javier Baez (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 12th and 13th homer, hitting .260). At this point, I wouldn’t mind if all my hitters were as stingy at taking walks as Baez. Hey, Juan Soto, study the Baez Technique^TM, which is literally swinging at everything. Embrace the unknown. Baez is like a BASE jumper. Instead, he practices the act of jumping on every pitch no matter where it is thrown. The BAEZ jumper. Also, in yesterday’s game, the Padres weren’t smart enough to avoid Patrick Wisdom (3-for-4 and a double slam (2, 3) and legs (1), hitting .467). I have dreams of streaming a guy who has a game as good as Wisdom, then I wake in the middle of the night, sweating and Cougs turns to me, “What are you dreaming of?” I reply, stoically, “Having Wisdom.” Then she asks, “Is that why you’re sleeping while wearing your monocle?” And I gently remove it and say, “No, I fell asleep looking for an ingrown hair.” If you streamed Wisdom, that’s just smart stuff, and, with Bote and Hoerner out, Wisdom might benefit with more play, like when you’re competing against an 6-year-old in a Math-off. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Braves Is No Longer Ozuna’s Anthem

May 31, 2021 | 2021 Fantasy Baseball | 434 Comments

by: Grey

On Saturday, Marcell Ozuna was arrested for domestic violence. Proving this year, he’s a piece of shit on and off the field. There’s no way he plays again this year. Too bad he’ll miss Player’s Nickname weekend, when they could’ve put on his uniform back, “I’m A Garbage Human.” My guess is Ozuna’s suspension goes into next year too; the Braves void his contract, and he’s playing the outfield somewhere with Puig. By ‘somewhere’ I mean not in the MLB, as he rightfully becomes Ozuna non-grata. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Search For The Next Coors Buy Is Never-Brendan Story

May 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 395 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

I saw an article in the Denver Post the other day that said something like, “The Rockies should rebuild, and Bud Black is the man to do it.” And I became The Joker. I started tiptoeing down a staircase in bright makeup, twirling and cackling. Then I threw my computer out my window, hit a squirrel, who lawyered up and sued me, taking 51% control of Razzball. Which is why you can now find acorns in the Razzball store. Hope you understand why I have to say nice things about Jeff McNeil, too. Let’s be fair and honest and charitable, Bud Black was a good pitching coach. That the Rockies hired a pitching-first guy in Coors says all you need to know about how dumb that organization is, but rebuild? If Bud could lure Mark Reynolds out of retirement, he would play him over Ryan McMahon, because of his experience. Bud Black is the worst manager in baseball, and, as Quentin Tarantino says, that’s a very impressive feat. I bring this all up, not to crap on Bud, though that’s fun, but to warn you I only half trust him to play Brendan Rodgers. On our Prospectonator, we project every imaginable rookie, based on 162 games played. So, all things being equal, Alex Kirilloff is number one, Ke’Bryan Hayes is number two, but not that far down the list is Brendan Rodgers. He could be even the shallowest of leagues viable. Assuming the Rockies don’t lure back Mark Reynolds. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If You Don’t Manoah, Now You Manoah

May 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 272 Comments

by: Grey

Here’s what I said the other day, “Alek Manoah looks to me like Lance Lynn meets a background extra from Uncut Gems. Manoah looks like he will sell you a knockoff Rolex. I will call him a Rolek. His build is why the term big-bodied came to be defined. A Rolek looks like he could throw 200 IP without breaking a sweat, in one game. Everything I’ve seen has impressed me, from his 96 MPH fastball to his gorge 82 MPH slider. Roofies suck, so expectations in check, but you’ll never breathe if you can’t Blue Velvet an oxygen mask while watching a rookie starter.” And that’s me quoting me! Would like to add to that, Rolek looks like he’d be in Action Bronson’s crew. So, came away massively impressed by Rolek (6 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 7 Ks). 82 MPH slider with upwards to 43 inches of break is a ‘goodnight, see ya tomorrow’ pitch, that he couples with a 96 MPH FB. Had some drop which could be an issue (falls into strike zone), but the 89 MPH change makes up for it. He threw one hummer down the pipe-lane to Aaron Judge and big boy got frozen solid like Mr. Freeze dropped a bad pun on him. “I have another call, so I have to put you on cold.” I had grabbed Rolek in my 12-teamer, but rosters are tight, so I needed to drop him, and now I’m filled with regret. Would absolutely grab him in all leagues. Hopefully, that tall drink of water can avoid hiccups. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On Kaprielian

May 27, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 415 Comments

by: Grey

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Yesterday, James Kaprielian went 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.53, and it’s time to dig in. Luckily, I watched him since it was an afternoon game. Looks like his sum is greater than his parts. Like a Honda. Ya know, no one ever talks about parts being better than a whole, which is always more likely. Like Tenet. Like The Irishman. Like a seven-course dinner anywhere. Amuse bouche? I’ll amuse you! Apps? Perhaps! Entree? Entry into my mouth! Cheese course? Okay, eff off. Mid-dinner sorbet to cleanse my palate? No, just bring me the damn dessert! So, Kaprielian appears to have a home run problem, but the Colossal-seum will help with that, and facing the M’s didn’t hurt. The command will be low 3-ish BB/9 with a 8.7-9.1 K/9. That’s roughly a high-3 to low 4 ERA with neutral luck, and a Streamonator call. Whispers softly, “He’s a mediOAKer starter.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4942 posts

Ray Dropping Golden Sun On White Sox

Angels Went Wacko On JacKo

Three Rips Van Winker

Let Buy Gonsolin Be Buy Gonsolins

Nats Can’t Nip Tucker

Dodgers Expose C-Mart’s Belly Button – It’s An Outing Not An Inning

Philadelphia Hit 7 Bombs But An Alec Ain’t One

Baez & Wisdom Treat San Diego To Chicago Style And Go Deep At the Dish

The Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Braves Is No Longer Ozuna’s Anthem

The Search For The Next Coors Buy Is Never-Brendan Story

If You Don’t Manoah, Now You Manoah

The Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On, Arm On Kaprielian