by: Grey
Someone defrost Ted Williams’ head, Jed Lowrie is hitting .516. If Mickey Rooney were playing the part of Dice-K, he’d say Jed is so Lovrie. That’s if we can pull Rooney away from pooping in your neighbor’s chimney. Right now, Lowrie is seasoning up fantasy steaks something delicious, but can this continue? No, of course […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Nathan reclaimed his closer job this year but was missing something, consistently putting his team behind the 8-ball, so the Twins shifted to CAPPS. On March 25th, I said this about the Matt Capps and Taipei Slinko shituation, “Here’s what I see happening. Nathan gets torched and Capps saves a few games while Nathan […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Not that there’s anything wrong about being from NJ. Both Rudy and I are proud to be from NJ, though not in NJ. NJ ex-pats are great. We spread our love of high-haired women and capicola around the country. As for Jay Bruce, he’s sucking on the ol’ suckhole. You can say that again, but […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?There’s no Sonavabench! shirt. There’s no Latin 32 shirt with a silhouette of Pujols. There’s not even a Cust Kayin’ shirt. I know, bummer. But let’s focus on the shirts we convinced our partners to produce for this first go-around. (Yes, us supervising shirt design took us to Malaysia, burning embers onto the end of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I call this, “Highlights of Grey and Rudy Panicking Over a Blown Win for Danks,” which is also a Jewel poem title. Chris Sale entered in the ninth, recorded no outs, gave up three hits and three runs. That, sir, is a ‘Fire Sale.’ Then Ozzie brought in Crain, who has a great leg kick. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Josh Hamilton left the game with a fracture to his humerus bone, which isn’t connected to the funny bone. He was going down the line head first into home and… Well, he’s Mr. Glass, so what do you expect? Ron Washington can’t believe anyone could ever get hurt going down a line head first. “Nothing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The national budget isn’t the only thing that’s strained in DC, Ryan Zimmerman is headed to the DL with an ab strain. This was an injury that originally happened in Spring Training and now it looks like the ab has taken out a *pinkie to mouth* restraining order. Zimmerman always seemed like such a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Just to clear my head the other day, I threw on some bicycle shorts, jumped in my El Dorado and went for a spin. Cause that’s how guys with a ‘stache roll. If you didn’t know, know you do. Consider yourself informed. As I was rocking out to some Don Henley, I was thinking back […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Around 7 AM on Sunday morning, my smoke detector started beeping every few minutes. Hungover, I rolled out of bed. I figured the battery was low, so I removed it and went back to sleep. An hour later, it started beeping again. So I removed the smoke detector from the wall and it stopped beeping. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
After seeing Edwin Jackson pitch yesterday, I felt as happy as this guy on the inside. I ran around my block yelling “Yuuuuupppp” like Dave Hester in Storage Wars. I went to Coldstone Creamery and got a low fat sundae that had 2700 calories and I ate it (with extra jimmies)! Yesterday, Jackson’s line was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2011 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.” First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix. I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun. Big […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?