by: Grey
What is this, the 50th Razzball post on Desmond Jennings? Cute, Random Italicized Voice. All I can say is my love never peters for Jennings. (<– Cheeky!) Let’s look at some of things I’ve said in the past about Desmond Jennings. “Desmond Jennings was elected Sheriff of Fantasy Baseball Heartthrob Town and finally arrested The […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Top 20 catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and 3rd basemen are in the books. What a strange, glorious trip it’s been! Though not really. Today, the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball get to shine. Hmm… Actually, most of these won’t shine. They’re cloudy with a chance of crapballs. As I said in the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Top 20 catchers, 1st basemen and 2nd basemen for 2011 are in the books. We continue around the horn (that means we’ll go back for the shortstops; don’t ask, I was getting fancy) bringing us to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. This year 3rd base gave most of you the gas […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
In 2012, Michael Pineda will open the sky and fart thunder. He will do a duet with Bruno Mars that will sound like rap to people who don’t know rap and their song will reach the top of the charts for 12 weeks. He will then put together a table from Ikea in less than […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool was shallow, and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, the 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen were more or […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2011, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you drafted. If you went wrong with your 1st baseman, it could kill your season. Hey, Justin Morneau, no hard feelings from me. We […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I didn’t drop the ball on the keeper posts, things took precedence during the season. But, guess what? Keepers are back every Friday, so let’s talk keepers, boo. In fact, let’s talk Starlin Castro. That commie bastage. In 2011, his line looked like 91/10/66/.307/22. That was hitting third or higher (mostly leadoff) for a Cubs […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Marco Scutaro!” and now you don’t have baseball […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The final results are in and I tested negative! Oh, wait, this is for the fantasy baseball leagues. Um, yeah, ignore that first sentence. This year in a not-so-unprecedented move of not-so-unprecedented size and enormity. We’re giving away prizes to our fantasy league winners! Last year we gave away a hot tub, but this year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
On the first day of the season, I said something profound and uplifting. Don’t go back to look. I’m sure I did. Today, I’m like Mark Twain talking about summer in San Francisco but less pithy. The coldest winter I ever spent was the last day of the baseball season. It’s metaphorical, friend. Trust me. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Jered Weaver will not make his final start of the year because he doesn’t care about your H2H team. Weaver ends the season with a line of 18-8/2.41/1.01/198. If you throw out three bad starts, his ERA would’ve been 1.72 in 220 innings, but if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts no one would […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?