by: Grey
Twins aren’t winning. Twins haven’t won all year, actually. You can look it up. They’re 0-for-2011. But Ben Revere wants to steal bases for no reason. I love that. I’d prefer my fantasy players act selfishly and just try to inflate their own value. Maybe that’s lame, but we’re talking about fantasy baseball. We’re not […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Turns out Leo Nunez isn’t exactly who he said he was. He’s been playing under an assumed name. His real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, he’s a Latin 29 and he’s pen pals with Keyser Söze. He enjoys snorkeling through Atlantis, talking to his giant rabbit Harvey and hunting Sasquatch. With the Marlins’ discovery of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This is it, fellas and three girl readers. The last train is leaving the station. The giddy has just about got up and went. It’s your last chance and I’d throw every single pitcher, not just the ones I have listed here if it meant the difference in my league. You need to do what […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Asdrubal Cabrera strains his back, and, no “Asdrubal Strains Back” is not a sequel to a sci-fi porn movie. At this time of the year, any little thing can knock people for the remainder of the year. To help you picture what I’m saying, imagine this is April and we’re talking about Morneau. That’s how […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ian Kennedy loves each and everyone. That’s why he gave you 12 Ks yesterday over 8 innings while only allowing one hit. You say, “No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. How could he love me?” You remember when you couldn’t find a parking spot at Chick-fil-A last week and you were about to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Mauer is done for the year with pneumonia. I’m almost 100% sure Morneau was the carrier of the virus. On Friday, frequent commenter Mike said, “If you went to Joe Mauer’s house, went into his basement, jack-hammered through the concrete, and started digging, what would be the under/over on number of feet you’d have […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Snap, snap, claw, claw, save. That’s The Save Vulture Dance. Snap, snap, claw, claw, save… Sing it like it’s The Electric Slide. The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. Peck, Jim […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
What a ridonkulous season from Melky Cabrera. Most of youse didn’t even draft him and here he is in September going 4-for-5 with his 18th homer, raising his average to .303 to go along with 18 steals. As they used to say in 14th century China, “Damn, Ming.” The spilled coffee on the saucer that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Wouldn’t say this is crunch time as much as this is “Your nuts are in a cracker and the season’s closing in and squeezing tight so you better just throw any pitchers that are available because you need stats — stat!” time. The line for last week was 80 IP, 4.05 ERA, 1.44 WHIP, 50 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Scott Rolen is out for the season. It’s time to go gorilla! I don’t even know what that means. Random Italicized Voice, no one knows what it means, but it’s provocative! If you got some risk to burn in deeper leagues at corner infidel, get in on Juan Francisco. I talked a bit yesterday about […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
In the next few days, the Diamondbacks are bringing up their top pitching prospect, Jarrod Parker, to work relief. He’s a starter though, so it’ll be “Parker poseur” for all you indie kids out there with dark-rimmed glasses, smoking American Spirits. In 2009, Stephen wrote, “(His) elbow tightness, that caused him to be DL’d on […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?