by: Grey
“Hey, I was just walking through this factory outlet mall when I came upon your store. I heard of Big ‘n Tall shops before but this is my first time ever in a Tight ‘n Rumpy. It seems like all you sell is…pants? Is that right? What’s that? Oh, excuse me, all you sell is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Chris Sale (7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.79) is a Hall of Famer. Yes or no? Don’t think about it. No googling. Say your peace out loud so only you can hear it. What did you say? Yes? Then you’re right. If you said no, you’re wrong. His career stats […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Maybe I’m jhuvenile but Jhonkensy Noel has me jhonking my nose in laughter. Jhonkensy? I ain’t Jhonkensy ’round these parts since the tennis courts closed in 2018. Excuse me, sir, my Jhonda’s jhorn stopped Jhonkensy’ing, and I am a very aggressive driver so I really need my jhorn to Jhonkensy. So, the Guards called up […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?[rubbing the plush purple belly of Grimace for good luck] May my dreams that have not yet been realized — like becoming a billionaire and winning my fantasy league, not in that order — come true. “Hello, boys and five girls!” What the heck? You’re not Grimace! Are you freakin’ Barney? “That’s right, boys and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Heston Kjerstad went 2-for-4, as he was re-called up by the O’s to not play. I mean, they didn’t say that, but how does the old saying go: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m still blaming you. Fool me five, six, seven times by calling up rookies and never playing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Orelvis Martinez was hit with an 80-game suspension, which is just a perfect encapsulation of the Jays’ season. It’s the Curse of Ohtani’s Plane is In-Flight to Toronto. Highly touted rookie comes up, plays in his 1st MLB game, 24 hours later, suspended for 80 games. That’s the land-speed record for PEDs. Was he taking […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Talked a bit about this on the podcast — you might’ve heard my fifteen different pronunciations of Noelvi Marte. No-el-vee? No-el-Vey? Noelgallaghervee? Some classic “Grey can’t speakisms” in there. Any hoo! — I don’t think PEDs, in the traditional sense, is a thing for most of these guys who are busted in recent years. Maybe […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Baseball is the only sport that can pull off this nostalgia, and I’m not sure why they don’t do it more. Once a month they could put two teams in either a historically significant park or just a park that was a movie set. Field of Dreams game? Once a season. Rickwood Field? Once a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Gerrit Cole made his 2024 debut last night going 4 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks and throwing 62 pitches–Hold on, someone is ringing my phone. “Hello? Kyle Bradish just underwent successful Tommy John surgery with an internal brace procedure? I thought it wasn’t Tommy John if it’s an internal brace, right? You don’t […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ben Rice… Uncle Ben’s Rice… Brace for Rice… Rice brace… Grimace! Oh my God! Oh my God! The Yankees are trying to steal the Mets’ glory! Is Ben Rice purple? Is he the shape of a teardrop? Is he purple and the shape of a teardrop?! Does he make love to women incessantly like a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Francisco Lindor (4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) and Brandon Nimmo (3-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs) with his 8th homer showed one of the most important struggles in human history: Not being able to hit to save one’s life vs. being touched by Grimace. I think we know the truth now. Grimace’s magical touch was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
For Mother’s Day, MLB uses pink bats. My suggestion for Father’s Day is bats with hairy bags hanging off the handle. This suggestion appears to fall on deaf ears, even though I go through the proper channels, filling out all the comment cards in the lobby at MLB headquarters. Even chitchatting with Jim, at security, for […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?