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Author: Grey

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Patrick’s Done A-Corbin To His UCL

March 17, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 459 Comments

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In the top 40 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball, Patrick Corbin headlined the tier named, “Taking a number three doesn’t mean a pee and poop combo.” Corbin now has UCL damage, so he actually is a pee and poop combo. Now, as Alfred Einstein once said, “For every negative reaction, there’s a not-negative reaction to it. I’m hungry, anyone have any snacks?” Alfred Einstein also took three years to pass 4th grade, until his teacher finally passed him saying, “I think all the chromosomes went to his brother Albert.” I’m here to defend Alfred; he did have a point. Corbin’s out, but that means Randall Delgado‘s back in. I’ve re-added him to my top 60 starters, top 400, the War Room and have adjusted my pitchers’ pairings. Where Corbin was a solid, if slightly yawnstipating number 3, Delgado is an exciting upside number five or six. You say tomato, I say that’s a one spicy meatball! What does this mean for Archie Bradley? He doesn’t get wet willied by Didi Gregorius anymore? Kirk Gibson stops calling his name like he’s Edith from All in the Family? Bradley starts the year in the rotation? No on all three. Bradley shouldn’t be affected by this Corbin injury. At least not at first. Since Delgado is now in the rotation, Bradley might be one more injury away from joining the Diamondbacks rotation. Anyway, here’s what else I’ve seen in Spring Training for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Outfielders To Target, 2014 Fantasy Baseball

March 14, 2014 | Uncategorized | 620 Comments

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Ahoy, all of youse that are apathetic about Michael Brantley, what follows is a one long love letter to said player, because, really, someone has to! I hide my Brantley love in a bunch of other players, but you can’t throw a puppy without hitting a 10 homer, 20 steal outfielder. There’s more than ten guys on this list (eleven), and I’d draft all of them, and have already in some leagues. It should work out well in (five outfielder league) drafts when you draft two outfielders before 100, then one between 100-150, then two somewhere in the next 150 picks. These are all the outfielders that being drafted after 200 overall. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2014 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Atlanta Pit Crew Signs Dale Ervinhart III

March 13, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 395 Comments

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Y’all know why this is happening to Kris Medlen, right? Why he’s preparing for Tommy John surgery? It’s the breeding patterns of the Flat-Billed Pitchypus and their likely extinction. If you iron your hat brim, you are putting yourself and potentially your family in grave danger. Exhibit A: Shawn Chacon now works at a Los Pollos Hermanos, making ‘deliveries.’ SPOILER ALERT! Wait, you need to know what I’m spoiling first. True Detective SPOILER ALERT! The Yellow King’s face looks like that due to ironing the brim of his hat while it was on his head. So, due to climate changes, mating rituals and the long hunting season of the Flat-Billed Pitchypus, the Braves went out and got Ervin Santana. The Baltimore Orioles said, “Aw, shucks, we were gonna sign him for sixteen dollars the day after the season started.” Too bad, O’s. Against me better judgement, I’m gonna talk like a leprechaun and move Ervin Santana up a hair in my top 80 starters and my top 400. Plus, we lost Randall Delgado, Kevin Gausman and Brandon Beachy, so there was room. Oh, have I mentioned I moved Beachy down? Yeah, I don’t like that he has soreness in his biceps. Prediction Alert! In the next few years, Dr. James Andrews is going to reveal to the world a serious gambling problem, and that’s why everyone that goes under his knife needs follow-up surgery and a massive amount of check-ups. Someone’s gonna pay the kitty, ya heard? Anyway, here’s what else I’ve seen in Spring Training for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

3rd Basemen To Target, 2014 Fantasy Baseball

March 12, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 339 Comments

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I don’t do 1st baseman sleepers because there are none. If you’re drafting a 1st baseman sleeper, you’re losing your league. Who are you putting at 1st? Yonder Alonso? That’s cool. Don’t pay your league fees until the end of the year and then duck out of the country. You feel me? Okay, now stop. 3rd basemen are more or less in the same boat, and that boat is the Titanic and if you draft a sleeper 3rd baseman that doesn’t pan out, you’re gonna sink while holding until to a lady named Rose who gets real old looking, but some of youse have corner men in your league, so may as well look at a few 3rd basemen for s’s and g’s. Good? Good. These are all 3rd basemen that being drafted after 150 overall. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2014 projections. Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Razzball Podcast — The One Where We Start 2014 With A Bang (And Syrup)

March 11, 2014 | All Podcasts | 152 Comments

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Nick welcomed me back for our first fantasy baseball podcast of 2014. Rudy was at SXSW (SWSX? I always confuse that acronym), so it was Nick and me with me updating Nick on what had happened in the last six months on the fantasy baseball front. He didn’t ask about my wedding, and now that I think about it, he didn’t come to my wedding after being invited. I wonder if Nick is jealous of the Cougs. I’ve love to see that Jell-O wrestling match, is that weird? Could they do it in pudding? Is that less weird? I had to fill in Nick that Matt Kemp wasn’t a 2nd rounder and that Wil Myers and Yasiel Puig are good. I tried to keep the sarcasm to a level 4, but at points I feel myself going into the red. Nick, being Canadian, does know maple syrup, and, for that reason, this podcast got its title and its thick, rich flavor. Also, Nick dropped clues that there’s a big surprise coming next week. Even I don’t know what it is (I know). Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (with me trying to find out if there’s special maple syrup that Canadians keep for themselves):

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Fantasy Baseball Auction Draft Strategy — Fake Cash Values Rule Everything Around Me

March 11, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Draft Strategy | 236 Comments

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I know how much you love draft strategy (do you? Yeah, of course you do!). Whether it’s snake draft or auction draft. You gobble this shizz up. Okay, I wasn’t speaking literally, take the corner of your computer monitor out of your mouth. Auction drafts are the best. They’re like that time you followed a man with a pony tail into the gym locker room only to realize his broad shoulders were that of a large lesbian and you were in the women’s locker room and had to run out. Happy accidents! So, lots of you know my fantasy baseball auction tips already, but some of you just joining us — Hey, close the door behind you! Were you raised in a barn? — may not. Lots of the strategy for my snake drafts also applies here. If you ask me — and you kinda did ask me by reading this shizz — auction drafts are where it’s at, yo! You get in a room with your best fantasy baseball buddies. The guys you haven’t seen since last year’s draft. The guys you don’t want to see until next year’s draft. One guy, and there’s always one, has to show you why the Droid is better than the iPhone. Then you have the guy who will go the extra dollar for (fill-in favorite player from his favorite team). You know that’s his favorite player because he’s wearing his jersey. There’s also the guy who wears a jersey of a player he would never draft from a team he hates just to throw you off his scent, only he points this out to show you how clever he thinks he is; he’s not. There’s the guy that makes you question why you’re even friends with him. There’s the guy who has a solar calculator and insists on sitting by the window. There’s the guy who is allergic to cats and, even though there’s no cat, insists someone’s clothes are ‘covered in dander.’ There’s the guy who brings healthy snacks and something with bean sprouts that he says is wrapped in a lavash just so no one will ask him for any of it. And, of course, you have the guy who brings only Cheetos and turns everything he touches orange, and, if he touches something that was already orange, he makes it oranger. Through all of this, it always turns out, this day is the best day of the year. Auction draft day is better than your wedding day. I can now speak from experience. As for online auction drafts, they’re just a’ight. Anyway, here’s some tried and true tips to help you through your auction fantasy baseball draft:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Cards Sign Diaz, The Cuban Descalso

March 10, 2014 | Uncategorized | 360 Comments

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Another Cuban has washed ashore, dreaming of American capitalism and getting seriously laid in Miami. The Cardinals signed shortstop, Aledmys Diaz. Let’s give you a comparison that may or may not do it for you. Diaz hit 12 homers and stole 11 bases with a.315 average in his last year in Cuban ball. Recent raftee by the Dodgers, Alexander Guerrero hit 21 homers, stole 2 bases and hit .290. Right now, Guerrero might be losing the starting job to Dee Gordon who can’t hit his weight, and he weighs 143 pounds. It’s nice that another Cuban gets to realize his dreams like Yasiel Puig and Tony Montana, but I’m not even sure if Diaz will make an impact this year, or ever. Despite his name resembling “All Days,” he’s being projected as a bench player. Oh, and I just had a great idea. I’m not sure who can make this happen, but we should get Fidel Castro on the podcast to talk about baseball. Speaking of which, we’re recording the first podcast of the year today and it should be on-site tomorrow. You can hardly wait. No, you! Anyway, here’s what else I’ve seen in Spring Training for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Shortstops to Target, 2014 Fantasy Baseball

March 7, 2014 | Uncategorized | 506 Comments

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Like the 2nd basemen to target post, this is necessary. You want to take flyers on late middle infielders. I like a few top shortstops this year: Segura, Desmond and Andrus, but if you don’t get them, don’t sweat it and definitely don’t ‘panic reach’ for another shortstop just because you feel like you need one. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Lichtenstein) supplement to the top 20 shortstops for 2014 fantasy baseball. The players listed have a draft rank after 200 on other sites. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2014 projections. Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Houston, We Have A Planet

March 6, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 324 Comments

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Japhet Amador is a giant man, standing at 6-foot-4, weighing in at 315 pounds. In the Mexican League, where he’s played for the last four years, they called him El Gran Burrito. Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto once remarked that Amador is welcome at the Presidential Palace anytime, as long as Amador brings his own snacks. When Jose Altuve heard the Astros signed Amador, Altuve was thrilled. No more walking around for Altuve; Amador will just carry him around in a baby bjorn. I watched video of Amador and I’ve never seen such a slow bat through the zone. He looks like a Mexican Meat Loaf in a celebrity softball game. I swear, Amador stopped to eat one of those spicy dried mango candies halfway through his swing. His power is huge, but I’m not sure he’d gonna be able to catch up to anything. Last year in the Mexican League, he hit 36 homers and he’s 27 years old. The Mexican League is supposedly comparable to Triple-A, only instead of buses for transportation, the teams pile into a Toyota Tercel. Right now, he looks pegged for Triple-A, but since the Astros have Robbie Grossman, Marc Krauss, Jesus Guzman and J.D. Martinez vying for everyday ABs, anything could happen. I’d take a flyer on Amador in AL-Only leagues, and wait and see in mixed leagues. Best case scenario, he gets the DH job and hits 25+ homers and .220. The worst case scenario, you draft Altuve and Amador accidentally sits on him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw recently in spring training for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2nd Basemen To Target, 2014 Fantasy Baseball

March 5, 2014 | Uncategorized | 334 Comments

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Psst! This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2014 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post. No, I can’t whisper louder. Then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING! Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm are guys I love later in drafts. Am I drafting any of these guys in the first 12 rounds? Probably not (except for Brad Miller — hello, beautiful! Come here, let Grey massage your balls…The balls of your feet, silly! Oh, that feels good on my hands. Can I tickle your toes with my mustache? Weird?). These are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 200. Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Spanish-speaking-ones) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2014 projections. Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Catchers To Target, 2014 Fantasy Baseball

March 4, 2014 | Uncategorized | 290 Comments

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Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2014 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that three years ago then had to fight Steve McQueen for writing credit. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2014 projections. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2014 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and four girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Salvador Perez if they fall, but to get on this list, you need to be drafted later than 200 overall. And, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

A Mariner Switches Taijuan To Off

March 3, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 298 Comments

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Taijuan Walker was shut down for a week due to a bursa in his right shoulder. Isn’t a bursa a type of Ethiopian bread? Sounds more like Somalians are holding my beautiful, upside starting pitcher captive. Only Captain Phillips can get me out of this mess…by being taken captive for two hours of a two hour and twenty minute movie and then being saved by characters we don’t even empathize with. Snooze. True story, schmue story, give Phillips a hidden machine gun in his rectum and let him shoot his way out by farting! This is starting to sound bad for Walker. I haven’t moved him in my top 80 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball yet, and, since I only have him down for 170 IP in my projections, I’m not changing anything, but I’d definitely be careful about pairing Walker with lots of other risk. As of right now, Walker will not be ready to start the year in the rotation. Anyway, here’s what else I’ve seen in Spring Training for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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