by: Grey
It’s not a great sign when you have one moment every month where it seems like you’ve finally woken up, then immediately go back to sleep. Could Nick Castellanos (2-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .206), the Greek God of Hard Contact be at his mother’s diner being served toast? Is no longer a gyro […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I started both Freddy Peralta (7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.81) and Jesus Luzardo (8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.14), then I prayed. Not to any ordinary God, of course. I prayed to the Fantasy Baseball Overlord, and he said, “I’m currently away […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Superlatives, friends, are floating away, just out of our grasp, but let’s try. Precede with accolades: Ranger Suarez (7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.36) moved his record to 9-0. He’s the 4th pitcher in the Live Ball Era with nine wins through his first 10 starts, and an ERA of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
You’ve heard of the Rip Van Winkle fairy tale, right? Guy who falls asleep for 20 years then wakes to a very different world? Yeah, one part of that not many people talk about is Chapter 8 called, “Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post Post […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Hey, wow, this is cool, so I’m at Canal Street in New York, right? And there’s this guy set up on a cardboard box with three cards face down. Two jokers and one ace, and on the other side of the cards is Alek Manoah‘s baseball card, and Alek Manoah is the one dealing the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Juan Soto was sent to the Padres for MacKenzie Gore, C.J. Abrams, Robert Hassell III, James Wood and Jarlin Susana. To quote someone talking to the last person, “Oh, Susana.” That was only 18 months ago! I’m Mr. Trade Prospects For Now. That is me! And A.J. Preller is my father. Call me Trade Prospects […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This is from the Wikipedia entry for former Brewers’ manager, Harvey Kuenn: That made me howl. “Otherwise respectable” is so funny there. “Kuenn was fired as manager with an otherwise respectable 87-75 record in 1983. Make sure you put in ‘otherwise respectable.’” That’s the Ghost of Harvey Kuenn dictating to a Wikipedia editor, who he […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?This post is going to be full stop. No nonsense. Just unadulterated smart stuff spewing from my brain to your eye thingies. Just wild moments of, “Oh crap, Grey’s doing smart stuff!” and you soak it up like a porous piece of focaccia and soapy water! Why are you sopping soapy water? I don’t know, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I was told Alex Bregman would never do anything ever again. I was told by a Samoan in a grass skirt and it was right after taking peyote. Maybe I imagined that. Gosh, I’m kinda freaking myself out now. Was it a dream? I was dressed as a toilet brush saying to Bregman I would […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Walking down the street of Pittsburgh, talking to Yinzers to get their thoughts on Paul Skenes‘s debut, and the people were chatty with anecdotes. I told them about how Skenes could be the best pitcher in baseball and they told me about when they saw Dale Berra and Dave Parker pull out a baggie of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
[watches as a deli man lathers up a piece of white bread with the most drippingly moist mayonnaise anyone’s ever seen, a customer bites into it and mayonnaise drips down his mouth as he exhales ecstasy] Oh my God, that looks so good! What do you call it? [the customer wipes his mouth with an […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?