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I have returned, my good Razzballians, from an excursion I can only describe with great glee.  Seriously, school girl level teeheehees were shared as I got our good man Nick Capozzi to pick me up as he started his #32in32in32 tour kicked off in Seattle at the World Sports Grille.  Not only did I get to stand next to those awesome vocal cords, but also got to check Tehol Beddict‘s pad – he’s as swag as advertised, bros – and also started a bit of a fling with The Guru as we bunked for a few nights in the same bed.  Don’t worry, we had a pillow barricade.  At least I thought it was one until ‘Da Gu’ shouted THOSE AREN’T PILLOWS!  We live and we learn, right?  Just because it’s soft and supple, does not appropriate head-rest material make.  In either case, my short sojourn across this little part of the bigger trek Nick is doing across the USA went splendtastically.  What?  I can make up words as I go.  You can’t hold me back, spell check!  Sorry, I’ll just wrap up this cross-promo saying there are still some tickets left in cities near you so make sure to check it out.  Heck, there’ll be one in Cincinnati where – and here’s your awkward segue – our pal Danny Salazar gets to take the mound.  Now if you know anything about Sky (psst, that’s me BTW), you’ll know that he loves looking back over the last 7 or 14 days to see how a hitting team is doing.  Granted, this isn’t the end all, be all of the research involved but let’s take for a moment a look at the last seven games for the Reds.  Their wOBA?  Third worst in the league.  Check.  Their ISO?  First worst in the league.  Discount Double check.  Joey Votto and Brandon Phillips still on the DL?  Triple lutz with a salchow-ending flourish check.  Given that Salazar has returned and performed quite well since his stint down on the farm, posting an average of 21.4 DraftKings points over three starts, I’m willing to roll him out there at his reasonably low price of $7,100, which will hopefully save me some cash for another, bigger arm or better yet, bigger, better bats.  For me, I plan to release the Czar of the under-priced pitcher on most of my Wednesday lineups.  But with that, here are some other picks for August 6th contests…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

Matt Shoemaker, SP: $6,600 – To believe or not to believe, that is the question.  Well I’ll be the Mulder to your Scully…cuz I believe, at least at home.  Over 50.2 IP in LA LA land, Matt has batters swinging out of their shoes, with a 9.4 K/9 rate along with a 2.84 ERA.  Though the last 7 days rule does give me a bit of pause regarding the Dodgers, well…again, that’s a starting point, not the dividing line.

Jeff Locke, SP: $6,400 – Truth be told, Locke was almost my lead paragraph guy.  Probably was gonna be something like ‘Locke-ness Monster’ or ‘Goldi-Lockes’ or some other really bad play on his last name.  Clearly I made the right decision and kept you from dealing with that mess.  But the real reason Locke didn’t get my vote was I don’t know how much I trust the data matching what he can actually perform up to.  The Marlins are one of the worst teams on the road this season for K-rate and wOBA but will Jeff actually be able to do something about it?  The fact is, pitching is a bit thin for this slate so when I see Mat Latos being the giant arm on the day at $8,700, I don’t mind the idea of going into Locke down.  Seriously, someone stop this!

Doug Fister, SP: $7,700 – Not that you asked but though they’ve priced Doug as only the third best arm on the day, he’s first on the board in my heart.  Mainly because the New York Mess is in town and it’s as messy as ever as they’re rocking the second lowest team wOBA over the last 7.  Besides, he has two of the three letters in ‘DFS’ as his initials.  He was made to do this, guys!

Rajai Davis, OF: $4,300 – He’s been in a bit of a funk of late, but I’m giving you the tip of the iceberg that is the Tigers stack.  Just the tip?  Ok, Sterling Archer, don’t go there…we have Chris Crapooano (seriously, wiki it; that’s his real name) taking the mound against a Tigers offense that has been hot of late with the 4th best wOBA in the league over its last 7 games and Rajai likes to hit him some lefties.  If you’re going fun sized stack, consider Ian Kinsler and Victor Martinez as part of the fun.  If you’re going full on king size, don’t forget guys like Nick Castellanos and Eugenio Suarez.  And now I want a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.  Thanks Obama!

Brett Gardner, OF: $5,300 – Speaking of stacks, the Yankees stack is just as much in play as the Tigers is as they sport the 5th best team wOBA over the last seven, in no small part thanks to the constant Gardner at the head of the attack.  Gardy has a sizzling 3 HRs and .639 wOBA over his last 7 and just might cure cottonmouth but I haven’t done all of my scientific research yet on that subject.  With Verlander being more famous for his GF now than his pitching arm, you can load up on LHB like Jacoby Ellsbury and Brian McCann but you’ll need to short your pitching staff to get them all in.  Isn’t it so cool I gave you all that cheapness to start with?  No, I’m not calling my writing cheap.  You take that back!

Nick Markakis, OF: $4,200 – SPARKAKIS.  He’s poked a couple of them out over the last week or so and given that his opponent has a 7.71 ERA at home, I like for Nick to take one long and deep.  Not that way.  Gross.  If you’re thinking of doing an Orioles stack, I’ll say that the offense has been down of late but has shown signs of life.  And if a guy with that high of an ERA at home doesn’t liven up those bats, well then those signs of life were just electrical impulses in the brain triggering the herky-jerky movements of a dead body.  How’s THAT for imagery.

Arismendy Alcantara, 2B/OF: $4,100 – Like I need to tell you to start players in Coors, but hear me out.  He’s been ice cold and burned a lot of people last night going 0/5.  That somehow did not sell me on him.  Shocker, I know.  Such vitriol for a tilted font…I’m thinking he’ll be a tad underowned given how he’s performed of late and has just as good of a chance as any of those Cubbie bashers to smack one out.

Jon Singleton, 1B, $4,000 – Jon’s season line inspires little confidence but his last 10 games do.  Over that span, he’s collected 4 HRs and averaged 10.3 DK points a game.  Given that he’s back in his old stomping grounds of where he was originally a prospect, I could see nostalgia kicking in…and him wanting to kick nostalgia in the face for what it did to him.  Revenge game!  Ok, not really, but I do think he’d like to let the Phillies know just what they’re missing.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

There’s currently a slight chance of rain along the eastern coast, making NYYvsDET, PITvsMIA, and PHIvsHOU possible games that’ll get moist but in the wrong way.  Keep a sharp eye on those and a dull eye on your list of reasons why you need to go see a doctor.  Like soon.  I googled that stuff, it ain’t right.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The big line for tonight (drumrolll please) goes to our easy ‘stack there’ call, which is COLvsCHC at 9.5.  Given how many other tasty matchups there are for stacking purposes, I’d look elsewhere to avoid being a part of the crowd.  Unless of course that’s a part of your plan.  You know, to be sheep.  BAAAAH!  Give me the over in NYYvsDET and TORvsBAL while keeping the under in PITvsMIA.