Click.
That’s not a sound that you want your truck to make when you turn the key. Perhaps the doors not unlocking was a clue. Maybe I should have noticed the radio didn’t work, or the darkened dome lights. The Educator had been beset by some sort of battery issue.
I live in Eastern NC, which makes me the only person you know from that area. Trust me, if you look at a map, there’s Raleigh, maybe Greenville, then a bunch of nothing that reaches to the Outer Banks. I live smack dab in that nothing. And we, like much of the country, had a heat wave. The Google machine told me this is a common affliction in heat, much like excessive sweat, general crankiness, and the Texas Rangers running out of gas in August.
Since my truck was sitting in the feels like 115 degree heat, I was hoping the heat just temporarily killed it. Of course, there’s other bad things. It could be a starter. Electrical issues are possible. Perhaps a small kitten crawled into the engine? I have no idea how to check these things. Except the cat possibility, but usually in a situation like that I would just play dumb and ignore it until I absolutely had to remove the carcass.
My dad was a pastor and did not teach me jack squat about things like cars, so at one point I taught myself how to jump a car. This was successful and then drove it to Advance, where they have a little tester thingy. As luck would have it, it was just a dead battery.
My brain went to a crazy place, didn’t it? To make a short story long, I had a dead battery. But we had to go deeper to find out why, or if more action had to be taken. A disappointing expense, but a necessary one.
This week, let’s dive into some disappointments for the season and check under the hood like the guy from Advance Auto Parts. Maybe the player is broken; maybe he just needs a new battery. Maybe a cat crawled into his engine and got fried. It’s always scary looking for the root cause of trouble. Homer Simpson had it right when he just covered up the light with electric tape. Maybe I’ll just do that next time instead of writing hundreds of words.
JOSE RAMIREZ: Third on player rater at 3B, 25 overall.
I guess this isn’t terribly disappointing, although he hasn’t met his upside. Ramirez has almost the exact profile in the advanced metrics as last year. Weird thing is last year he overperformed his metrics, this year he’s underperforming them. I’m probably not drafting him in the first again next year but he should be a fine investment, just one with steady returns, not explosive upside.
This was a terrible guy to start off writing about disappointments right? Maybe this article is the true disappointment. I guess to continue my battery theme, this guy’s truck didn’t start because he left a light on all night. No real issues.
MANNY MACHADO: 72 overall, not what you spent a top 25 pick on.
He could go all Bo Bichette and dominate September and salvage his season, but at this point, you have to assume Machado is declining. He’s the kind of guy you take in like the 5th, hoping he comes back. Given his age and previous health history, I’m bailing on Manny. Players over 30 can bounce back and often do. But they oftener don’t, so I usually get them late if I can and don’t count on the bounce back coming.
If he were a dead battery, I’d predict it was a bad battery coming. It might charge up and bounce back, but equally likely you would take it to the local Cracker Barrell, eat, and then it won’t start again.
VLADIMIR GUERRERO JR:
Already wrote about the guy https://razzball.com/writing-about-my-big-belly/ in that article so I’m gonna leave it be. Solid stuff, I’m going to buy in on him forever because I believe in the talent. You do you, though.
He’s a solid battery that has performed well and will continue to perform at some point. Just get through the heat advisories.
BRYCE HARPER:
His full season power stats are lacking, yes. 12 HR is not what to expect from him going forward. Did you know, though and however, that 7 of those HR have come in the past 28 days? And that elite power is supported by a .352 batting average? Yes, Harper is getting healthy, comfortable, and my only hope is that his full season stats let him fall in drafts to get a first round value in the third or fourth. Bryce with the power and average allows you to kill two (mocking) birds with one stone. And of course, I Googled Harper puns and just used the first one. Don’t judge, I turned 46 this week. My 13-year-old constantly tells me cognitive decline starts at 45, and I’m inclined to agree!
Harper is a brand new battery that was placed in your car after your car was totalled. He’s all good now though.
BOBBY WITT, JR.:
Of course, he hasn’t been a disappointment. He is up to 8th overall on the player rater. If you play in OBP leagues, his value does slip. To 9th. He’s proved me wrong and has justified what I thought were flex picks by guys to show how smart they were. I was all, “Hey, pass on Witt and take a sure thing like Vlad.”
The Educator is dismissed and was dead wrong on this guy. I like my process, but elite talent can rise up. Like maybe…..
JORDAN WALKER:
I guess the good thing about Walker for me is that he hasn’t played a game at a corner infield spot all year, so he’s OF only next year. I guess the bad thing is that he’s not a very good defensive player out there either and he could get stashed at first base at any time.
Look, Walker is quite talented. He’s also, like most 21 year old rookies, riding the struggle bus. .186 average the past month. I have confidence that he’ll be fine. By that confidence, I mean that I think he’ll develop eventually. Unless he’s as old as his face makes him look, that changes everything.
Oh for this year? Buy low in a dynasty or keeper, but bench if you can.
I ran out of battery analogies, guys! I just stopped. If you’re still reading at 1300 words, I’m so sorry.
MATT CHAPMAN:
It’s impossible to quantify just how crappy this guy has been. He’s not hitting for average, power, or at all really given his skyrocketing K rate (35% in the past month).
Guess what? The player rater quantifies this! He’s been the 66th ranked third baseman, and probably the most damaging guy that you just can’t feel like you can pull out because a hot streak could start at any time. Or is that just how I think about him? This is bad, folks, and if you can find an alternative you have my blessing, which you don’t care about, but you have it now anyway.
Category Helpers: Here are some guys who may be available if you’re battling in these categories. I’m not checking how much damage they might do in other areas, but this maybe could help:
SB:
HR:
Joey Gallo (LOL)
R:
RBI:
Paredes again
Nolan Gorman (PT should be available, no need to not play the kids in St.L.)
Well, my battery has for sure died for this week. Any other guys who are struggling that you’re wondering about, let me know and I’ll try to answer. One month left guys, let’s finish this!
