by: Grey
You know that cracked out guy at the 7-11 at 3 AM who’s just trying to get a cylindrical hamburger for free? “Yo, man, can I get me a cylindrical hamburger?” Grabs said hot doggey-looking burger and jets for the exit. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Learn more about our 2026 Fantasy Baseball Subscriptions!
The best daily/weekly player rankings/projections (hitters, starters, and relievers) for each of the next 7-10 days + next calendar week starting Friday. Kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.
Weekly Razzball news delivered straight to your inbox.
by: LT
Feeling extremely sick today. Should I call Grey and tell him I just can’t complete the task at hand? Should I tell him I’m worried the medication will lead to a sloppy, uninteresting post? How could I ever in all my wildest dreams hope of topping last week’s Naked Gun post, especially caught in this horrible sickness. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
You know how when you turn on the lights in my bedroom, the cockroaches scatter? Well, maybe you didn’t know. Okay, say Hodgepadres are the cockroaches and the lights are from any stadium but Petco. You following the analogy? Good, let’s add another layer. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dale used to work down on the docks. Union was on strike, he was down on his luck. It’s tough. The Padres closer goes on the DL. Dale gets a job, converts every chance he gets for saves. For saaaves. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here are some updates on guys I covered earlier in the year and where I expect them to be for the rest of the season:
Jason Heyward – He no longer drives me crazy. Right Said Fredi Gonzalez caused him to have a toxic season last year, but he’s rebounded nicely in 2012. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Felix Hernandez joined Philip Humber and Matt Cain in the Perfect Game club this year, shutting down the Rays in Seattle yesterday. If only it was against the Yankees and Ichiro (hitting 9th) was the last hitter and Ichiro bunted. Oh, the Internet drama! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Juice Jones is our MC Skat Kat. That’s right. We have a Razzball Podcast Football theme song and it’s got a rap interlude. And Juice Jones says, “It’s Razzball, baby,” and I nearly lose it. It’s Razzball, baby! Wow. If you want to hear our entire fantasy football podcast then go over to that side of things. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Scott Evans
I was gonna write about Jurickson Profar and his possible call-up here, but Grey ran with that yesterday and my take wasn’t offering different advice. Add him in keepers if he’s not already owned, but don’t waste much energy on him in re-draft formats as playing time will be spotty and he’s still five-or-so years away from peaking. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Texas finally caught a glimpse of MLB’s best Japanese starter as Hiroki Kuroda went 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Rangers. Did they play this game in the Old Yankee Stadium? The one that was 700 feet to center and had Red Ruffing’s mausoleum in dead left? Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: JB Gilpin
With Yankees ace CC Sabathia placed on the DL with elbow inflammation, long-reliever rookie David Phelps slips into the Yankees rotation with a great shot of giving fantasy owners some spot starts while flashing a high K-rate and with an elite offense behind him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The two greatest defensive catchers during the Fin de siècle of the late 19th – early 20th century were the Bergen brothers, Marty and Bill. Both have distinct legacies in the annals of baseball history. Bill Bergen is undoubtedly the worst hitter in the history of the National Pastime. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
The Rangers are thinking about calling up big-time prospect, Jurickson Profar. When I saw that news my eyes did the John Lithgow’s eyes when he sees the gremlin on the wing of the plane in Twilight Zone, The Movie. Then I started thinking, as I’m wont to do on occasion, Kinsler is on lock, Andrus isn’t going anywhere yet, Beltre and Olt can play 3rd, while Young can butcher all 4 positions and fly the “This guy is the heart of our team” flag. Please, blog, may I have some more?
