by: Grey
Chase Utley was placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained thumb and he might need surgery. This injury opens up a big gaping hole in his owners’ hearts that can only be filled with junk food and hardcore drugs. Utley may not have been playing his weight in pomade, but at least you had him out there. Please, blog, may I have some more?
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by: Grey
Here’s some 2nd half hitters for fantasy baseball who should be better than they were in the first half. To come up with this list, I scoured the last three years of post-All-Star Break numbers, ran it through a supercomputer that’s bigger than your Peugeot, pasted the supercomputer-generated names to my shirt like dollar bills on a wedding dress then went to a palm reader to help me pick ten names out of the thousands. Please, blog, may I have some more?
On May 23rd, Jason Heyward was scratched with a sore thumb. Seems harmless, right? As they say in Norway, “A-ha! (Best group ever.)” Turns out he has a strained ligament in his thumb and is headed to the DL. Member when I said I dropped him about a month or so ago? Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Headley’s an example. You don’t necessarily have to give or get Headley for this example to work, but a comment I got today made me think of him. Someone was offered the trade of Miggy Cabrera and Chase Headley for Haren and Kershaw. Please, blog, may I have some more?
If there’s one guy who can’t afford to lose a foot, it’s the five-three Dustin Pedroia. As of post time, it’s not clear how long Pedroia will be out with his fractured foot. My guess is 4 to 6 weeks. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Smokey
Interleague is over and we are sprinting to the All-Star break, trade deadline and fantasy football drafts because, who are we kidding, the best part of fantasy is the draft. Soccer is still well on Smokey’s plate. As if you’re not watching and getting excited. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last summer, something felt wrong for Edinson Volquez. He said it was his arm. Dusty gave him two after-dinner mints and said they were “reconstructive surgery,” then threw him for 160 pitches. Unfortunately, the mints didn’t take. Dusty blamed Edinson’s inability to believe. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Carl Crawford left yesterday’s game with a sore shoulder. He first felt discomfort on Wednesday. In the locker room, here’s how Carl explained it, “You don’t want to feel that pain like that… I’ve never really had nothing like that before… It locked up real bad.” Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Sometimes you just can’t trade a guy in your fantasy baseball league. For whatever reason, the rest of the teams don’t believe in your guy. Whether it’s someone who has been doing well who people aren’t sure if they’re for real (Corey Hart) or someone who has been struggling (Berkman), no one in your league will trade for them. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Bob Feller told a story about how he once threw 117 MPH while urinating. He went on to talk about Triscuits and where he left his teeth. When he came back around to baseball, he said no one’s throwing a 1.15 ERA, even that guy with no hair. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Stephen
Zach Britton | LHP-SP | Baltimore Orioles | DOB: 12-22-87 | 6’2” | 180 lbs | B/T: L/T | 3rd rd. 2006 from H.S. | BAL #3 ranked prospect according to Baseball America (2010) | MiLB Player Page
Equipped with a sinking fastball that sits between 88 to 92 mph and a four-seam fastball that tops out at 95 mph, Britton is Dave Duncan’s Krispy Kreme doughnut. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jimmy Rollins went 0-for-4 in his return from the DL. After the game, Charlie Manuel said… Actually, no one’s sure because he was chewing a piece of straw at the time. I wouldn’t just yet start blowing your vuvuzela at your TV set that’s broadcasting the Philly game expecting an explosive 2nd half from Rollins. Please, blog, may I have some more?
