Hunter Pence has a patella tendon strain and won’t play until this weekend. Though, more likely, he’s not playing much more in the regular season. Don’t you love H2H leagues? What I don’t understand is how you can fantasy baseball, which is a shizzload more intensive than fantasy football, then leave the end of the season up to luck like it’s fantasy football. I enjoy my one or two H2H leagues, but only because I have ten roto leagues to offset the silly luck factor of H2H. You draft a great team, then your first 5 round picks are sitting out in the finals of H2H? Don’t tell me injuries happen in real baseball playoffs, so this simulates that. Real baseball is played over 162 games, not week to week on who has, say, the most Holds. So I like H2H, but don’t make as if its playoff system makes sense. As for Pence, find someone else to fill in p to the ronto. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Todd Helton – Unlikely to return this season with back issues. It’s probably because when he sits on his bottom, his back can go to the top of its slide. Helton Skelton!
Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4 with his 24th steal and 3rd steal in his last 4 games. Sure, Rockies, now play Young like he’s a rookie scrub who you’re just feeling out, unsure if he can play in the majors. I hate the Rockies. Today I’m officially starting the trade Eric Young Jr. to the Twins Campaign. Gardy will let Young play and run and the M in MI in MN stands for mess. All money donated to the site will not go to the Eric Young Jr. to the Twins Campaign, but we can pretend it will.
Phil Hughes – Scratched from Wednesday’s start with back issues. I hope he returned the favor to Brian Cashman. That’s how the world works, Phil!
Robinson Cano – Hit his 12th HR in the 2nd half to go along with an AVG near .320. Imagine how much better those stats would be if it weren’t for the HR Derby Win jinx!
Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. In case The Wandwagon isn’t mentioned next week, I just want to say with his 3.51 ERA and decent Ks (164 in 184 2/3 IP) he’s proven once again to be a serviceable fantasy starter without the flash. You’re blue collar, Wandy, and for that I respect you.
Josh Beckett – 7 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks. Done in by two HRs by Mark Reynolds. Maybe Godot had the scouting report on how to get him out.
Matt Garza – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks. It’s an extravaGarza!
Chase Headley – 0-for-2, 1 RBI and a sacrifice. Oh yeah, baby, he’s back!
Anthony Bass – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 1 K in Coors. I’m seriously considering doing a weekly podcast next year and, if I do, the first order of business will be finding someone to compose a Hodgepadre song. In related news, the Rockies are really phoning it in this September.
Tommy Hunter – Left his start with a strained groin. Wouldn’t wanna be near his colander.
John Mayberry Jr. – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and a slam & legs. Yes, the Phillies are phoning it in even worse than the Rockies, but the good thing about a team phoning it in is they’ll play guys like Mayberry every day.
Wilson Ramos – 3-for-3 with his 2nd homer in his last three games. Okay, pop quiz, hotshot! Who’s gonna be more valuable next year, Wilson Ramos or Jesus Montero? Laughably obvious? Or is it?
Brett Lawrie – Out for the year with a fractured finger. First, House doesn’t win at the Emmys, now this.
Dan Haren – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. Might miss his last start after being hit by a liner on the wrist. His owners get pist.
Peter Bourjos – 3-for-4 with the slam & legs. Now has 12 homers and 22 steals. Next year he might be my number one “Get this guy in every league” guy. Wouldn’t be surprised to see him get to 15 homers and 40 steals. He’s gonna be Stubbs without the .240 average.
Vernon Wells – 2-for-5 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Hey, all you need is a short term hot schmotato and at least I’m not recommending Derrek Lee. Oh, wait, a second…
Derrek Lee – 3-for-4 with a homer. Now has three homers in the last 8 days. Grey’s recommending Derrek Lee again, there goes the neighborhood.
Ross Ohlendorf – 2 IP, 7 ER. Now has given up 31 earned runs in 33 and a 1/3 innings with a 1.99 WHIP. Swollendwarf!
Lucas Duda – Left yesterday’s game due to dizziness after crashing into the right field wall. Forget about moving the fences in, the Mets should move the fences back.
Brent Morel – Hit his 4th homer in the last ten games. Brent Morel is looking Septacular!
Ubaldo Jimenez – 7 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks. This doesn’t have much to do with fantasy baseball (like Swollendwarf does), but does anyone else get the feeling that the Ubaldo deadline trade is gonna be one that the Indians look back on in ten years and regret?
Travis Hafner – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Pick him up and think about the fun you can have at the end of the season when someone looks at your roster and you have Derrek Lee, Vernon Wells and Hafner. When they ask you how’d you win, you can freak them out by telling them it’s really 2006 and you hope Bob Barker hosts The Price Is Right forever.
Javier Vazquez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. I’m sure you’ll hear more about this when we go over our teams in the offseason, but after we inexplicably dropped Vazquez from our LABR team he’s put up 137 innings, 2.89 ERA, 1.02 WHIP, 9 Wins and 126 Ks. Pretty much would’ve been leading our team from that point on. He’s also been the topic of more discussion on IM between Rudy and I than maybe any other player. Usually goes like this, “F**king Vazquez!” “I know.” “Seriously, f**k him!” “I hate his face.”
Logan Morrison – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer in the last three games. He’s just lucky the minor league season is over so he can’t be demoted.
Bronson Arroyo – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks. Oh, no, he’s endangering his Sigh Young chances!
Brandon Phillips – 3-for-4 with his 12th steal. Yesterday, he said the Reds would not receive a “homeboy hookup” with his final contract. Walt Jocketty volleyed back that he just wants to “pay a man his worth and keep it on the heezy.” Phillips then replied through his translator, Barbara Billingsley, that, “The heezy is for sure, but Beezy needs to get the deezy or else he’s gonna Cherokee fade this piece.”