Hey, I’m Higgins and I’m going to be posting updates about our Fantasy Razzball leagues. If you are not familiar with Fantasy Razzball, it is a league format where us truly masochistic fantasy baseballers try to build the worst fantasy baseball team possible. Full rules can be found here.
Last month we looked at the master standings and bowed down to Butera Butera, who sat atop the six leagues. Well, not a ton has changed because he is still in first place, but fifth place is only 206 points behind, so the race is tight. In the last thirty days Butera Butera has received 93 points from Juan Uribe, 76 from Jarrod Dyson, and 73.67 from Barry Zito, who has given up 18 runs and 18 walks while losing three times. Sounds like Fantasy Razzball champion material to me.
Recapping the season up to now, the first half MVP trophy is shared by a pair of brothers: Rickie Weeks and Jemile Weeks. No, that’s not ebonics, they literally have the same parents! Anywho, the
Weaks Weeks Bros. are #1 and #2 in the Fantasy Razzball rankings with 317 and 311 points each. Together they’ve combined to go 128 for 608 (.211) with just 10 home runs while striking out 146 times. Ouch. That’s more punchouts than Adam Dunn, which is more impressive than you think. One Weeks brother is worth more than two Upton brothers, as B.J. and Justin add up to “only” 303 points. Do you think Papa Weeks brings this up over awkward family dinners? “Why can’t you be more like Bossman’s kids? Now finish your asparagus.”
Your early favorites for the Fantasy Razzball Cy Young Award include Jeremy Guthrie (232.67 points in 83.1 IP), Jason Marquis (195.33 in 77.2 IP), and Ervin Santana (216.67 in 103.1). The first half surprise on the list? Big Time Timmy Jim Lincecum is tied with Jake Arrieta with the most earned runs allowed in baseball at 69, and combined with his ten losses, has put up 179.83 points in 96.2 innings despite the 104 strikeouts. Maybe him and Zito ate some bad brownies.
The second half is where many more points will roll in as teams out of contention start mailing it in and trading away their quality players and/or playing their young guys. Where do you look? Some of the bottom teams in runs scored include the Royals, Astros, Mariners, Athletics, Cubs, and Padres, none of which should be realistically pushing for October baseball (sorry KC fans). Time to break out those depth charts. The Padres could trade Quentin or Headley, giving full-time jobs to Mark Kotsay, Chris Denorfia, or Logan Forsythe. If the Cubs move LaHair or Soriano, does Reed Johnson play every day? Did you know Seattle only has four starters listed on their depth chart, and that includes Hector Noesi (currently in the minors) and Kevin Millwood (trade candidate). I don’t know who their fourth and fifth starters will be in August and September, but whoever they are, that decrepit offense will probably help them rack up those losses and delicious Fantasy Razzball points.
Until next time, look for those Baltimore starters and cram as many middle infielders into your lineup as you can.