With 4 homers for Kelly Johnson, there’s still the Kelly Ka-POW, see?¬† With the 6 steals, he’s still running.¬† If you extrapolate those numbers out, it’s a 20/20 season.¬† If extrapolate is the right word.¬† From radio, to the video, to Arsenio‚Ä¶ Tell me!¬† Yo, what‚Äôs the best case scenario for Johnson?¬† Last yeario, Phife Dawg.¬† That’s not happening this year though.¬† This is what currently is happening.¬† His balls batted into play are showing he’s been unlucky, so he’s pressing and his Ks have gone up and walks have gone down.¬† If a couple balls fall in front of fielders and Johnson gets on base, his confidence will rise and he’ll start being more selective at the plate.¬† His average will then rise and he’ll continue to hit for power and steal bases.¬† His average isn’t likely going to get up to .280, but a 18/15 year with a .250 average is still very possible.¬† That’s better than the current perception of him.¬† If he’s been dropped, I’d look to grab him. If he’s on an impatient owner’s team, I’d offer up a deal.¬† Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Julio Borbon – Was moved to the top of the order in Texas.¬† You know why?¬† Cause Ron Washington is mixing things up!¬† “How much powdered sugar are you putting on your donuts?”¬† “That’s not powdered sugar…I’m mixing things up!”¬† That’s Ron in other aspects of his life.
Domonic Brown – He was in last week’s Buy column, he’ll be in next week’s and every week until he’s called up.¬† That is my promise to you, now buy American!
Roger Bernadina – He’s been doing a whole lot of bupkis since he got called up, but for his upside I’m giving him another week.¬† Now get hot you schmohawk!
Mark Trumbo – Maybe the Los Angeles Angels of Not Los Angeles County shouldn’t have took Trumbo’s doctor recommendation for Kendrys.¬† Never the hoo!¬† Pitch a tent in the middle of your fantasy lineup for Trumboner.
Danny Valencia – More of a very deep, short-term add because he doesn’t have enough power to really get the blood flowing.
Mark Melancon – He sounds like a comedian/ventriloquist who plays in an Indian casino.¬† Speaking of which, my friend recently went out with a puppeteer.¬† I told him to ask her if he can try and move her mouth by putting his hand up her–¬† Wait, this is a family show.¬† Um, Melancon, yeah, he should be getting saves for the time being.
Vicente Padilla – No, I can’t believe I keep recommending Padilla for pick up.¬† Yes, it is weird.¬† Yes, I am reading your mind’s eye for questions you have.¬† No, you shouldn’t have Chipotle for lunch.¬† You had that yesterday.
Eduardo Sanchez – SAGNOF!
James McDonald – There’s certain players that make it seem like I’m higher on them than I am because they’re never owned but should be, forcing me to talk about them a lot.¬† That doesn’t mean they should be owned over say Kuroda.¬† This message was brought to you by the Committee to Hedge All Bets in Regards to Picking Up McDonald.
Chris Iannetta – Ever notice Italians seem to catch more than any other position?¬† Berra, Piazza, Torre, Girardi, Garagiola, Campanella (half), Lo Duca, Napoli, Iannetta, Sal Fasano…¬† My theory is because Italians like to be in charge and what better way to control the game than from the catching position.¬† Or maybe it’s because they all enjoy eating so they like it behind the plate.¬† As for Iannetta, he’s hitting so ride the green, white and red lightning.
Scott Sizemore – He’s not exactly lighting the world on fire…Shoot, he’s not even sparking a match over a stack of dry newspapers.¬† (For our 18 to 25-year-old demographic, newspapers were regularly scheduled publications containing news of current events, informative articles, diverse features and advertising.¬† Thanks, Wikipedia!)¬† Sizemore is still a solid upside MILF (Middle Infielder I’d Like to take a Flyer on).
Ryan Roberts – Hey, you guys had a good couple of weeks.¬† Friend him on Facebook so you guys can keep in touch and drop him.
Jason Bay – Other than Reyes and Wright, I’m not a huge fan of the Mets hitters (or pitchers for that matter).¬† I’ve been called names for expressing yawnstipation for Ike Davis.¬† Some of those names were accurate.¬† I am gooftarded from time to time.¬† Still, potatoes to chips, old Bay isn’t helping any fantasy teams reach its full flavor potential.
Jeff Francoeur – I wouldn’t drop Frenchy outright, but right now he’s sandwiched between A-Gon and Miguel Cabrera on ESPN’s Player Rater.¬† That’s as good as it baguettes for Frenchy.¬† You should see what you can get in a trade before his average drops out and he stops hitting Freedom Flies.
Gaby Sanchez – He (she?) is batting .336 and just came off a home run binge (binger!).¬† It’s nice, huh?¬† You should go to a Marlins game (if you can get seats — real hot ticket!), sit in the first row and blow kisses to Gaby.¬† He (she?) will like that.¬† He’s still around a 20 homer, .275 hitter.¬† I wouldn’t trade him for a You Can’t Do That On Television autographed cast photo, but I’d explore options.