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Roughly three months ago, we were talking about the grave, man. Not Kendall, but the one where Luis Robert (2-for-5, 1 RBI) was placed with care next to Eloy Jimenez (2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 4th and 5th homer). Where Yermin Mercedes later joined him, then Yasmani Grandal, then Billy Hamilton, then Adam Eaton, but who cares about him. Really, the only ones not missing time for the White Sox has been the pitching staff. I just jinxed them, didn’t I? No, I haven’t because to offset my jinx, I took a cat-o-nine-tails and whipped my back 27 times, Lucas Giolito’s uniform number. Do I have to whip myself 33 times for Lance Lynn too? I’m not asking you, I’m asking the voodoo high priestess I am Zoom’ing with! The brutal truth is I didn’t have room for Luis Robert to sit on my IL for the last three months, and I dropped him. Well, that’s not the brutal part. The 88 lashes I’m being told to administer to myself for Robert’s uniform number is the brutal part. SOMEONE SAVE ME is what I scream into a Pringles can for later. You never scream an SOS into a can, then cap it in case you can’t scream later? Hmm, weird, must be me–Any hoo! I see Luis Robert as a top 30 bat again. Unlike, say, Chris Sale, hitters don’t need as much time to get up to speed, and if Robert’s healthy, I’m all-in. As for Eloy, well, he’s a top 20 bat. He homered twice on Sunday, followed that with a different song, same verse on Monday and, if he homers twice a game from now until October, I’ll prolly just mutter about how awful Cody Bellinger is and about how I dropped Eloy when he was supposedly out all year. Absolutely owning the day and the night, Grey Albright! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?