FanDuel: Snell(s) Like Teen Spirit

April 13, 2019 | 2019 Fantasy Baseball, DFS, Fanduel | 4 Comments

Blake Snell ($12,000) may look like a 16 year old on the verge of shaving, but he’s a bonafide skull crusher between the white lines. Not only that, but with the Red Sox and Yankees struggling, his Tampa Bay Rays are the toast of the AL East so far this year. Senior Zilla has upped his game to the alternative rock tune of a 2.84 ERA, .89 WHIP, and 12.79 K/9 this year. Cue Dave Grohl’s killer snares. Honestly, his numbers against the current Jays, whose only power comes from the left side (that Snell neutralizes), are downright brilliant. They hit .123 with a .364 OPS against him, and he has a 2.96 ERA in Rogers Center to boot. His man competition, Justin Verlander, is facing the red hot Mariners, which gives Snell the clear edge for best start of the day. Now let’s take a look at the rest of the slate today.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgraces And Delights: The Longo Cometh

June 10, 2016 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 31 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! Back at it again with the fresh Disgrace/Delight posts. Naaaaaaasty! We are here, my goodmen, to discuss the downfalls and risings of some of the most skilled athletes on this planet. I shall do my utmost to lock the derogatory comments in my cranium and not bestow them on the good readers of Razzball, for I am not here to offend, but to teach. I am not here to decry these talented young men, only to track their progress as professional athletes and root them on towards future glory and the type of massive wealth that peasants such as ourselves could truly never comprehend. Buuuuuuuuut, you’ve got to be realistic about these things. For I, favorite son of the Elder Gods, just can’t pass up an opportunity to roast a slap-dick hitting, noodle-armed throwing, ass shaving pansy, that would be better served mowing the lawn at Beddict manor, than being rostered in our fantasy lineups.

I am Tehol Beddict, and this Disgrace/Delight. Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgrace and Delight, Week 7: Taijuan Walker’s Plummet to Peasantry

May 21, 2015 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 86 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

Greetings! How’s your week going? Swimmingly, I pray. How’s mine? First off, thanks for asking, for it’s much appreciated. I have a 88-year-old Grandmother with a severe alzheimer’s and a broken hip, so things could certainly be better. That’s without mentioning what is seemingly a wasted season for Corey Dickerson and sliding in at dead last in one my RCL leagues. Ahhhhh, the Elder Gods have decided among themselves to test me this week, seeing if I will wilt and ball up like a baby as if I were Lindsay Lohan after her coke dealer began screening her calls. Say one thing for Tehol Beddict, he’s a artist. And I WILL NOT stop pouring out my heart and soul into this Razzballian scripture, not until my final breath. With that being said, I’m exhausted, so let’s move along shall we.

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is, DISGRACE/DELIGHT! TAKE HEED!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgraces and Delights, Week 6: Kill The Boy, Bryce, Son of the Harper

May 14, 2015 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 93 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

All hail his grace, Tehol of House Beddict and House Razzball, first of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of Fantasy Baseball, and Protector of the Realm.

Greetings! I come to you flaccid and weary after a five day boar hunting/brothel hopping excursion. A nice treat from my loyal subjects, celebrating the fact that Peter King, the first King of the Andals, wrote a blurb on how much he adores Razzball.com. Now, I’m guessing he’s never read Beddict scripture, but who am I to turn down an opportunity to take down the same breed of beast that brought a heartbreaking end to my very dear friend, Robert Baratheon, not to mention unsheathing my long sword a time or two, all while being rip-roaringingly tanked? After Maester Sky closely inspected my unmentionables, giving me what looks like a years supply of penicillin and three anti-itch creams, I remembered I still had work to do! There were many disgraceful performances over this past week or two, the kind of disgraces that make Jorah Mormont’s traitorous ways seem almost acceptable, and if you believe a few “possible” STDs are going to stop me from taking quill to parchment, then good ser’s (and madam’s), you are sadly mistaken. Let us not forget those who shined like a young Rhaegar Targaryen on the battlefield, and may their songs be hummed by children in the Godswood for hundreds of years… If you’ve visited me here before, you know how I do it… every two weeks I’ll be mixing baseball and Game of Thrones. (Jay and I also dedicate a segment to the show on the Fantasy Football Podcast!) Interesting concept, eh? No? You must like the taste of ice cold Valaryian steel, sir! And as always, spoilers ahead!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Disgraces and Delights, Week 4: Devon Travis is the High Sparrow

April 29, 2015 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 86 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

All hail his grace, Tehol of House Beddict and House Razzball, first of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of Fantasy Baseball, and Protector of the Realm.

Greetings! Tis I, the Mad King, writing these opulent scriptures from my Irone throne, deep within the Razzball castle. Smokey, bring me some edibles before I have you whipped like a dog! J-FOH, if you would be so kind, please check the dungeons to see if Christian Slater is still drawing breath, for I was hoping to continue the flaying after having my breathtakingly hot playthings hand feed my an extravagant meal of quail eggs and boar testicles. Slaters’ being scolded for not producing anything of quality since the criminally underrated Hard Rain! RALPH! Unhand my betrothed before I do you like Reek, you scoundrel! I gave five of my illegitimate children as hostage along with five million in jewels that I stole from Rudy, Warden of the North, for that flawless virgin. You can have next though! Jay, do I ask (command) too much of you in expecting that these scrolls be transferred to Wordpress, so that followers of house Razzball may read the gospel? [Jay’s Note: Sorta…] I know that taking over for Littlefinger hasn’t been easy on you. It must be difficult to guzzle red wine all day, flirting with the thousands of beauties of your brothels. Grey, Lord of Light, I only ask that you continue to watch over us all, sending your fire priests, Sky and Seth, to scorch every last remaining bone of these old God worshipping peasants. A NEW AGE IS UPON US!

If you’ve been here before, you know how I do it… every two weeks I’ll be mixing baseball and Game of Thrones. Interesting concept, eh? No? Swallow my Valyrian sword point then. And as always, spoilers ahead!

I am Tehol Beddict, and this is Disgrace/Delight, GOT style! Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?