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Hey, let me ask you something, are we shipping Roger Maris Jr. and Aaron Judge‘s mom? What? Why are you booing me? Okay, serious-serious question, how many changes of clothes does Roger Maris Jr. have with him in Toronto? Okay, serious-serious-serious question, isn’t Roger Maris Jr. actually just Roger Maris but with an asterisk? Stop throwing tomatoes at me! I can’t use all my Roger Maris Jr. material anywhere else. So, Aaron Judge (1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit 61, becoming, what, the seventh most prolific home run hitter in a season? Honestly, when you really stop to think about what Barry Bonds did, it’s truly remarkable. I don’t care if he was sticking Babe Ruth’s DNA in his butt and Ted Williams’s DNA in his male sack, it’s freakin’ impressive! Aaron Judge? Also, incredibly impressive. I’m not going to lie, when I hear stuff like, “He becomes the first player to have 130 runs and 130 RBIs in the same season since 2007,” and how he’s almost 20 homers higher than anyone else in the majors, I get extreme FOMO for any teams of mine that don’t have him. His 60/20/.315 with 130/130 might be the best fantasy season any of us witness. Or at least until Barry Bonds returns at the age of 58 with Hack Wilson’s DNA in his arm, Ruth’s in his butt and Williams’s in his sack. Let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did you know that Grey Albright is collector of art? He’s a man of sophisticated tastes and by art and sophisticated tastes I mean Alek Manoah and Chase De Jong shares on his fantasy baseball teams. What one person calls waiver wire adds, are another’s art collection. Other exciting items Mr. Albright has procured in recent weeks; an original Eric Hasse, a Seth Brown, a DJ Stewart, and even something called a Paul Fry! Move over Isabella Gardner, there’s a new collector in town. And by town I mean 3,000 miles west. Any the who… the Razzball podcast is back with loads of tidbits, advice, confirmation bias, and dad jokes.

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On Saturday, Marcell Ozuna was arrested for domestic violence. Proving this year, he’s a piece of shit on and off the field. There’s no way he plays again this year. Too bad he’ll miss Player’s Nickname weekend, when they could’ve put on his uniform back, “I’m A Garbage Human.” My guess is Ozuna’s suspension goes into next year too; the Braves void his contract, and he’s playing the outfield somewhere with Puig. By ‘somewhere’ I mean not in the MLB, as he rightfully becomes Ozuna non-grata. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

True story, I told Cougs that I had the hots for Maria Conchita Alonso, and she was like, “You know the woman who walks her Yorkie off leash in the neighborhood that Ted always tries to hump?”  I answered in the affirmative.  I hate people who have their dogs off leash.  It’s like people who bring their dog into the supermarket.  I love dogs, but I don’t need Arfer Woofruff licking my bottle of Kombucha.  Any hoo!  As you likely figured, the woman with her Yorkie off leash is Maria Conchita Alonso, and she’s no longer hot because she can’t follow the rules!  So, guys and five girl readers, Yonder Alonso has nine homers.  Quite the change from a guy who used to be Hither Alonso.  Okay, Imma let Fangraphs Database finish about launch angle and exit velocity, but Yonder Alonso is the greatest 1st baseman waiver wire pick up right now.  Yonder Alonso had two homers on Saturday and added his ninth on Sunday, and I’d grab him everywhere.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You may want to plan on a second poop if you’re going to read this entire post. Let that be my warning to you, before we begin my latest adventure in verbose prospecting. Today we tackle arguably the best system, certainly one of the deepest systems, in all of baseball. For today we discuss the Top Los Angeles Dodgers Prospects!!! You may say to yourself, “Hey self”, (then punch yourself in the face for saying self) where have I recently seen…or HEARD (big clue) someone talk about the Top Los Angeles Dodgers Prospects before? Hmmmm, maybe on the Razzball Prospect Podcast last week. You would in fact be correct, we even had a guest no-show us with a mysterious aliment. Last time I trust Michael Lohan. Either way, we talked about it once, and I’ll write about it now. The Dodgers have become a player development machine. They draft well (Kershaw, Pederson, Seager), they win the international market (Urias, Puig, Maeda), and most of all they develop players. They spend the most of any team on scouting and it shows. In the last few years they’ve nailed picks all over the draft, including picks in the 20+ rounds with players like Jose De Leon, and Jharel Cotton. This is a well oiled and functioning farm system, with players of interest and excitement across every level for dynasty owners. Sometimes when I’m writing these I know I’m highlighting several future fantasy relevant. This is one of those times. It’s the Top Doyers prospects.

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The Halph is back and we brought our show mascot Stabby the Cat! Don’t ask for an explanation just listen. This week on the Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast Michael Halpern of Imaginarybrickwall.com and I dig into the Los Angeles Dodgers Prospects. It’s a very solid system with players like Jose De Leon, Cody Bellinger, Willie Calhoun, Yadier Alvarez, and a whole lot more. We were supposed to have Razzball locale yocal J-FOH, but he’s a coastal elite and decided to bail on us. So we were left to our own devices trying to sound out hispanic surnames. This did not go well. We still found time to review about two dozen players that should be on your dynasty radar. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast.

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Deadline day baby, one of the most exciting and nerve wrecking times for fantasy owners across the land. I’m not going to talk extensively about it the way I did on Wednesday. Mostly because I’m not allowed to write the same post twice. At least as far as I know. Only Tehol’s allowed to do that stuff, but he’s handsome. We call that bubble syndrome, handsome, and really all attractive people in general, live in a bubble. You know who doesn’t live in a bubble, but is built exactly like one? Josh Naylor!!! That’s right A.J. Pro-Preller continues to trade-rape the MLB and horde A-1 prospects the same way your Grandma hordes Precious Moments figurines. This time they traded Andrew Cashner and Colin Rea for Josh Naylor, Luis Castillo, Carter Capps, and Jarred Cosart. We have no need to get into Cosart or Capps, but Naylor is interesting, Castillo less so. The Marlins selected Naylor in the first round, 12th overall, in last year’s draft. So far the returns have been promising, but let’s be clear Naylor is an “unathletic” DH/1B type. He was drafted as a 1B/OF coming out of the prep circuit, but his future lies as a first sacker. He’s been billed as a power first guy, but his power at this point has only been middling. He’s surprisingly swiped 10 bags though. The hope is the young Naylor develops the power stroke and eventually matures into a 25-30 homer corner guy. I’m not as hopeful as some about that happening.

Oh don’t worry I’ll get into my take on top catching prospect Francisco Mejia, and three others moving from the Indians system to the Brewers for Jonathan Lucroy. Feel free to post rumors, deals, hopes, and dreams, etc in the comments. Let’s talk specs and trades y’all!

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The best way to describe the Dodgers system is “an embarrassment of riches”. Not only do they have one of the biggest budgets in MLB, but they’re also the proud owner of one of the top farms in all of baseball. With two top ten prospects in Corey Seager and the newly two eyed Julio Urias, there’s a ton of top level talent. Including top 100 darlings Grant Holmes, Jose De Leon, and Alex Verdugo. Additionally, there’s a good amount of depth in the other tiers boosted by good player development (Cody Bellinger), recent trades (Frankie Montas), solid drafting (Willie Calhoun), and an aggressive approach in the international market. One of the biggest components of the Dodgers recent success, and organizational depth, is their ability to hit on late round picks and develop prep arms. Two areas where most franchises miss the mark. With impact specs on both the pitching and hitting side, the Blue Bloods should be a pipeline of fantasy scrumptiousness for years to come.

By the way a big shout out to my Grandma Betty who turned 100 last week, and grew up not too far from “Da Bums” original home, Ebbets Field.

Please, blog, may I have some more?