There’s so much to love about Fred Lewis. Let’s see… Power — check! Speed — check! A name that sounds like an 80s sitcom character — check! I’ll take Fred Lewis in the center square for the win. Alas, Fred Lewis is about to undergo season-ending surgery on a foot bunion. (The operating podiatrist hopes his patented Toe, Hairy and Curly procedure will one day be as recognized as Tommy John surgery.) I still like Lewis for next year, but this is this year, fool! So now it’s up to German Pantyhose to cover for Lewis’s bunions. Schierholtz had a sexy minor league OBP and power. NL-Only leagues and deep mixed leagues should be looking at Schierholtz, especially keeper leagues. There’s no reason why he can’t excel and there’s even less reason why the Giants don’t play him next year. Unless, of course, they sign Aurilla and Vizquel to four-year deals. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Tom Gorzelanny – Left the game with an irritation in his middle finger. Pirates fans will happily give him their middle finger.

Scott Lewis – The Lewis without bunions threw 8 innings of shutout ball. He pitched well in the minors this year and I would take a flier in deep leagues. He gets the Twins next time out.

Eugenio Velez – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs, including the 2nd day in a row that he knocked in the game-winning runs. He’s a 2nd baseman with speed that might now get a majority of the starts over Ochoa.

Brian Wilson – 2nd blown save in a row (that I predicted in the comments yesterday and the day before). He’s not going anywhere as the closer unless he’s hiding an injury, which I doubt.

Joel HanrahanKazaam!

Brandon Lyon – In a sign of solidarity with his fellow Diamondbacks pitchers, he blew his own win. He did manage to lower his post All-Star break ERA to 10.91.

Taylor Teagarden – HR yesterday for his 4th in 24 at-bats. Right now, the Rangers seem like the Rockies of the late 90s. They could plug in Luis Castillo and get 30/100. Yet still suck. Nelson Cruz, Chris Davis, Teagarden, they all homered yesterday and they all could homer tomorrow (or K three times). Recognize!

Kelly Shoppach – 2 HRs yesterday. I have Shoppach, Dioner and Doumit on three separate teams. One was an All-Star, one was hyped up and one backed up V-Mart. Guess which one is doing the best. Fantasy Baseball, this shizz is predictably unpredictable. Ya gotta love it.

Manny Ramirez – Nearly .400 while chipping in 14 HRs and 40 RBIs in 129 at-bats since joining the Dodgers. Good thing the Sawx got that albatross off from around their necks.

Ted Lilly – 8 IP, 1 ER. Wholly inconsistent and I wouldn’t want my fantasy baseball championship decided by this schmohawk, but you do what you do. He gets the Brewers next.

Kevin Slowey – 7 IP, 1 ER. Here’s a schmohawk I can get behind. He gets the Indians next.

James Parr – 6 IP, 0 ER and no relation to Jamie Farr. So far he’s thrown 12 innings of shutout ball. Maybe he’s just got hitters baffled because they haven’t seen him before. Deep leagues should be looking at him just in case he can keep it going. I have my doubts though.

Troy Percival – Left the game with back spasms. The Rays should just have Wheeler play 2nd when Percival pitches to save everyone time by doing a double switch. By his own admission, Percival will be out for a few days. I don’t think he said it in third person like Suede from Project Runway.

Felix Pie – Will see time down the stretch. Weird, cause I really thought Edmonds and Fukudome were doing a spot-on job.

Adam LaRoche – HR yesterday. He’s not only due, but he’s hot. Hot and due (yes, that does sound like a weird preggers porn) is a great combo to have in mid-September.

Kelly Johnson – 2 HRs yesterday. Against righties, he should be started on all teams. When he gets hot, he can put up very nice stats in a short period of time. He’s already hitting .486 in September. Get on that Johnson! (Um, huh?)

Cristian Guzman – 2 HRs yesterday. In other news, smoking is a healthy alternative to “just breathing.”

  1. BSA says:

    Aaaargh. My wakeup = Sox lose under Timlin’s geriatric arm. I dropped Shoppach for Sandoval in weekly H2H. Gallardo pukes all over Beckett’s numbers.
    Wonder what kind of day I’ll have? Anybody want to make some predictions?

  2. knighttown says:

    Need a little help with my 3/4 starting pitcher start. Yesterday, I got the willies over Lilly and dropped him (remember his 2IP/6 run game vs. Reds?) for Slowey. Both did well, but I’m happy with the Slowey matchups the rest of the way (Cle, TB, KC). But I had also considered dropping Slowey for Meche who has the Clevelands (vs. Lee tho), Seattles, Det, Min coming home.

    So now I’m looking at Volquez since I don’t need the K’s (WHIP and wins is all that matters now). He’s got Arizona, Milwakee, Houston and maybe Saint Loo.

    So, which two of Slowey, Meche and Volquez do you like the rest of the way knowing who they matchup with and what my needs are.

  3. 123 says:

    Okay, I need some help deciding on my keepers. For my last choice my options are Chris Ianetta, Edwin Encarnacion, Ian Stewart, Nelson Cruz, Delmon Young and Alex Gordon. The league format includes doubles and triples. My team is built on speed so I’m looking for some HR and RBI.

    Remember only one player can be kept.

  4. knighttown says:

    @123: Since Grey will be asleep for a few more hours, I’ll put an early vote in for Cruz.

    Ianetta? You must have your Beerer Glasses on this morning.

    (sorry, I’m gonna be pushing this term hard to make it happen, like Gretchen Wieners did with “fetch” in Mean Girls)

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: Ortiz will hit a popup to first that he used to hit out?

    @knighttown: Switch out Volquez for Meche.

    Check out the glossary. Your ‘fetch’ made it.

    @123: I’d rank them Delmon Young, Cruz, Gordon, Stewart, in that order, for your needs.

  6. Shogun says:

    Ugh. I just dropped Wheeler for Saito on the (ridiculous) assumption that Percival looked healthy enough to finish the regular season as the closer and Saito would start getting chances from Broxton. Someone please tell me that Saito is going to get chances. He is, right? Right?

  7. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Right. (You decide what intonation of “right” that is.)

  8. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    AAAHHHH!!! Suede from Project Runway! So my wife is a PR fanatic, and last night she only let me watch the Cubs/Cardinals game between commercials. And just think, Grey watches that shiz for FUN!


  9. Grey

    Grey says:

    @IowaCubs: Suede’s Aquarius avant-garde outfit looked so I-vant-to-barf.

  10. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    I was splitting time between wanting to barf at Project Runway and wanting to barf at Kerry Wood almost blowing another save.

    I don’t understand fashion, but then again, I buy my clothes at Old Navy and I wear Crocs to work, so what do I know?

  11. papasmurf says:

    I picked up Johnson and Laroche recently. Hope they keep it going. Unfortunately I dropped Guzman before the Mets series…

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @IowaCubs: Crocs are so oh-seven.

    @papasmurf: Papasmurf aka The Cooler has made his way to the blog? Nice.

  13. Austin Bell says:

    big day for ballplayers named Kelly yesterday… weird

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Austin Bell: And the new 90210 was on last night. Coincidence?

  15. BSA says:

    @Grey: #5 – Click! Click! Click! Don’t worry it is supposed to do that. Pop!

  16. Steve says:

    I’m not sure Crocs have ever been so-anything ;-)

  17. royce! says:

    @Grey: Having just finished The Wire Tuesday, I think the new 90210 could be fun to watch until I lose the eerie feeling that Dixon Wilson, aka Michael, will start knocking off other characters. Perhaps he’ll bring Dukie along for the ride!

  18. Shogun says:

    @royce! What was your favorite season of The Wire? I’m just about to finish Season Three, and unlike most people I liked Season One the best so far. Most people who have seen the whole series seem to like Season Four the best, so I’m looking forward to sinking my teeth into that soon.

  19. Shogun says:

    It looks like I was totally wrong about what Liriano would contribute this season. He’s put together a really nice run of good games.

  20. Aconstipatedmonkey says:

    @Grey: Heh, not in Mississippi. We’re always a year late on the fashion trends.

  21. royce! says:

    @Shogun: Season 1 was my favorite, but I also liked Season 2 a lot. I enjoyed Season 4, but feel the first two seemed the most realistic. I’m interested to see how you react to Season 4, though. I wish I could watch it again with fresh eyes.

  22. Shogun says:

    @royce!: Yeah, I’m addicted to The Wire like Bubbs is addicted to smack. Seasons One and Two seemed a lot more focused than Season Three. I like how they show corruption in city politics in Season Three, and the Hamsterdam experiment is interesting, but it still feels less involved than Seasons One and Two, which really brought viewers into the shit in the projects and on the waterfront. But some of my friends won’t shut up about Season Four, so I’m optimistic.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: @Shogun: Ooh, Wire convo! Awesome! But let’s go to the newest post. Thanks.


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