How do I follow up my Cinco de Mayo intro this past week? There is no Doce de Mayo holiday, even though it has a catchy ring to it. So if I can’t play the Mexican card, then what am I to do? I know, I can talk about you… no-no-no, I already do that for most of this post. Too much you and not enough me makes Jack a dull boy. There is nothing worse than reading me wrestle my personalities in print, I mean, that’s what I have a therapist for. Blah, I’m stumped, the only thing I’ve had going on was watching Daredevil on Netflix. It was required, or at least I think it was, by our fantasy master lothario, and let me tell you, it’s friggin awesome. Dark and violent? Yes, thank you, and please give me some more. Seriously though, go watch it and then come back and let’s talk. Okay, enough of that rambling, let me get back to you guys… and girls. We having fun yet? The RCL’s are starting to hit their stride, and if you are failing, it might be time to cut bait on a few lost souls. You still have lots of time to make up ground, but if they are showing no signs of life or are easily replaceable then I would do it. Elvis Andrus comes to mind, he is more frustrating than dating a girl with a chastity belt. He might be super relevant later but every day that he takes you farther down is another day you could be batty calling his spot til something sticks. Before I move on I have one last thing. Have any of you ever taken a massive one day nose dive in the standings, like 8 points bad, that allows some a**hole below you to jump into first place? This can also apply to the RCL’s and the Master Standings too. Well that happened to a friend of mine and I guess this a**hole had to go and bring it up in front of everyone like the d**k he is. Wait, can I type d**k? Anythehoo, we should have a glossary term for when your team takes a massive one day fall in the standings. Please leave your suggestions in the comments.

 

Category Leaders in Week 5

After having five ties last week we get all solo shots this time. Actually, if we took last weeks totals vs. this weeks totals then week 5 would of won 6-4. Sorry week 4. Am I the only one who loves the FIPping the Bird league name? Well done whoever came up with that. Oh, and look, a JayWrong league in here again. How many leagues do you host Jay? [Jay’s Note: Innumerable. The better question is, how many am I no higher than eighth place in?] I have one too, can anyone figure out which one it is? I have a question for anyone on this list. How much are you guys streaming/batty calling? Let me know below.

RUNS 67  Mully Gann Jr.  RCL FIPping the Bird
HR 22  kumamoto expungers  The Captains of Outer Space
RBI 74  No Chickensit  FUBAR
SB 17  Mully Gann Jr.  RCL FIPping the Bird
AVG .357  Team terry  Jawns
K 97  Uncle Red  Razzball DC
W 11  Professor Chaos  Death by 5 x 5
SV 13  Pujolio .  Take on Jay #5
ERA 0.99  New York Braves  Razzballz to the Wallz
WHIP 0.76  Team Sig  Hamiltons Dandruff

Note: ERA and WHIP are based off 40 innings pitched minimum.

 

The RCL Top 10, Week 5

This is the best around!… For the season… so far. Do you want to be Daniel Larusso? Then you got to beat all the Cobra Kai’s and win the All Valleys RCL Championship. Word around the office is that the grand prize is Sky jumping out of a cake in your living room and doing a strip tease to the the tune of Moment of Truth by Survivor. The table below contains the rank, team name, league name, RCL points, and League Index.

1 Unpainted Arizona HA! 108.66 103
2 Backdoor Sliders Razzball Champion’s League 108.50 106
3 I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing! Take on Jay #1 108.28 101
4 Nick the Dick FCL 107.48 107
5 drunc orks Euro Razzball 106.02 100
6 RA the Rugged D ickeys King Ralph’s Emporium 104.56 101
7 St Louis Browns Don’t even remember last year 104.49 97
8 New York Braves Razzballz to the Wallz 104.30 103
9 Money Ballers JB’s RCL 103.81 100
10 Hate Us Cause They Anus Tehol and Taints 103.16 103

Razzball Commenter Leagues 2015 MASTER STANDINGS

Last weeks number one team (team Harris) came as quick as they left. BTW, I don’t say he because I would hate to offend our 5 girl readers. I really wish the RCL ladies would have team names so I would know they are the ladies. I’ll let you guys make suggestions for them in the comments and please try to be tasteful….or at least Razzpectful. Sorry, back to the rundown. previously unranked Unpainted Arizona from the very solid league HA! jumps up to reign supreme for week 6. Well done UA. The usual suspects of backdoor, wood and dick are still hanging out together with backdoor holding the 2 hole, wood maintaining the 3 and the dick rising up in the top ten and holding down the fourth. The drunk orcs cracks the list this week at five while Nick the Dicks other team and ode to the great RA rises up to the 6th spot and fulfills the prophecy that legends never die. The St. Louis Browns returns to the top 10 this week at 7 while this week’s team profile (it’s a new edition below) the New York Braves takes over 8th. Last weeks 7th the Moneyballers is this weeks 9th and last weeks 4th the Anus is now 10th. That’s it for the top ten this week and great job all of you.

 

Team Profile

I got an email from Vin this morning that gave me a heads up about a team that just laid down an epic week of pitching. The New York Braves have put up a one week line so awesome that it needed its own paragraph. Getting redonk two start week’s from Michael Pineda, Aaron Harang and Madison Bumgarner  and then pairing them up with Bartolo Colon, Shelby Miller, Jonathan Niese and Zach Greinke is just the start to this notable week. One earned run among 11 relief innings and we got gold here. It’s funny but not really that I am always chasing the middle relief stats by streaming MR’s when a few of these starters were streamable this week and I didn’t pull the trigger on them. Dammit! Very well done Braves. This has propelled you into the top ten and got your name all over this post.

IP H ER BB K W SV ERA WHIP
82 56 9 14 79 8 6 0.99 0.85

 

League vs. League, Week 5

As I try to mix it up over here and look for new avenues I bring you a league vs league vs league vs league…oh you get the point, week 5 stats comparison. Before the season started our resident data miner Vin chose these leagues to track in our RCL spreadsheets. I took that data and my trusty calculator and the result is this. Now why would I do this? First, I don’t want you getting bored with the same thing week after week. I had a great response to the changes last week and wanted to keep some curveballs coming. Secondly, I think if some of you are struggling with the format then you can look in on these leagues and see how they are getting it done. I’ve had commenters in the past say they would add Grey and Rudy’s league to their favorites and peek in at what players were being added. Hey it’s a strategy. Third, and yes I do thirds, Grey is the one who hates the number 3, this is a good mix of writers and readers who have been around these parts for a long time and have some great strategies down pat. The Original Recipe is probably the oldest league that I can think of. It’s kinda cool they get together year after year. Fourth, ah-ha there is no fourth, that’s reserved for the horsemen…WOOOOO! The big take away here are the leagues with the high index’s below are the ones doing batty calls/streaming as demonstrated by the HR’s, Wins and SB totals. For example with HR’s, take that extra ten or so a week and by the end of the season that league just hit 200 plus more home runs than your league. These are the kind of strategies that help you win your league and if you are the only one in the league doing it then you have lots of ripe options every week to pick from. Trust me, have a few fluid spots on your roster and try it out. The hitter-tron is a great resource when trying to make a one day call. You can also stream the hot schmotatos or even read our daily DFS guys who are always searching for the great one day calls. Until next week, vaya con dios!

 LEAGUE HR SB SV W INDEX
 FCL  130  76  48  50  107
 ECFBL  130  72  48  45  105
 HA!  120  69  47  46  103
 Original Recipe 2015  118  67  48  49  99
 Razzball Champion’s League  123  73  48  50  106
 Razzball RCL Writers League  110  66  48  43  101
 RCL ‘Perts  117  68  45  40  100

If you need an over the net friend you can follow J-FOH on Twitter.

 
  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Damn, Nick the Dick carrying all of those old as dirt Yankees to RCL glory…Beware the summer siesta, Nick!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Grey: Nick is really into male cougars. BTW what do you call male cougars?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Pervs?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Grey: sorry male cougar loving males like nick

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Rip Taylors

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: more like Dick Tailors

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          @J-FOH: @Grey: Ahem, the term is Silver Fox

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: you learned a lot from that layover in San Francisco

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I didn’t learn the rollover like you did there, though.

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Sky: never been to that airport, I always fly into Oakland to be safe

    • nick the dick says:
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      @Grey: Haha I can’t lie, scooping Tex and Arod in Ralph’s has been key. I didn’t draft em, I swear!! And i won’t hesitate to drop them when the summer comes, the prune juice runs and their swollen arthritic legs turn pear shaped. It’s been my solid pitching and streaming in that one.. In the FCL? Well that’s just some kinda luck. And that lucks name is Nelson. Be nice when Abreu starts dropping bombs with him. And the starterpocolypse sure helps. Makes a 4 era look pretty and witty and gay.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Yeah, I have Abreu too, any day now, hopefully… And agreed on ERA, my 3.45 ERA looks sterling!

        • nick the dick says:
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          @Grey: yeah my era in Ralph’s is in the mid 2’s, was even lower earlier in the week. just drafted Scherzer, Harvey, Liriano and Richards and went the rest closers. Worked out well so far with solid streams mixed in. Also where I flipped Ottavino for Myers and have been quick to nab callups.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Ottavino for Myers is insane

            • nick the dick says:
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              @Grey: yeah it was amidst the hype of him being the next big closer. Offered me my Otta and Ozuna for his Myers and BG at first and talked himself into a straight up deal

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Crazy

                • nick the dick says:
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                  @Grey: crazy insane or insane crazy? When I say who sane, you say Dickeys!

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Haha… Insane crazy

        • nick the dick says:
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          @J-FOH: I like to do my own coming, thank you very much

  2. Jim Wiser says:
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    Gigalos!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Jim Wiser: I don’t get it

      • Jim Wiser says:
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        @J-FOH: A male cougar is a gigalo, but Grey is right, a male loving male is a pervert.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Jim Wiser: I thought this was a glossary term suggestion

  3. YoMamaSoUggla says:
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    I feel good about my team, then I see the leading teams here. ……then I wonder what I’m doing with my life.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @YoMamaSoUggla: well its early and you always have yo mama jokes.

  4. Gareth says:
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    I’m team Harris.

  5. Gareth says:
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    I think Espn automatically gave me my last name. Maybe I should rename.

    Any suggestions?

  6. Gareth says:
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    G3!

  7. Gareth says:
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    I was just offered a trade.

    I Send Lucas Duda and Andrelton Simmons.

    I Get Mark Trumbo.

    My CI’s are Votto and Carter.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Gareth: take trumbo and celebrate

      • Gareth says:
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        @J-FOH: Just went back in and realized it was a Trade I offered a few days ago and the guy didn’t decline it yet.

        DOH!

        • BambooLounge says:
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          @Gareth:

          I’m glad I’m not the only person that happens to. I share a team and at least 2-3x per season I text the co-owner elated thinking someone offered us a trade I forgot I offered.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Gareth: get it together welsh kitty

  8. nick the dick says:
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    That’s some top ten. Some brave drunc ballers with wood dickeys, with the dick in the backdoor hatin that anus. St. Loo loo brown!

  9. rick says:
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    Would you trade Pineda straight up for McCutcheon?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @rick: sure

  10. mauledbypandas says:
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    I want to hear from Truss. How are you enjoying the Champions league, FCL, ECFBL grind?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @mauledbypandas: you know he has a DFS post today

      • mauledbypandas says:
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        @J-FOH: oh, I did not see that. I swear there is a new post every time I update the site these days.

          • mauledbypandas says:
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            @J-FOH: I wish, I am at work. I was referring to the 3-7 articles a day. Crazy how popular this place has gotten.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @mauledbypandas: the pre season was action packed. It’s about 3-4 during the week

    • MattTruss

      MattTruss says:
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      It’s brutal! My priority goes ECFBL, FCL and somewhere down the line is Champion’s League. 9th, 7th, 10th…not my best showing so far this season. I feared I might be spreading myself a bit thin. Glad I got in FCL though, that league is fun, great crew. Ask me again in July when I’m drooling on myself in an add/drop coma.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @MattTruss: my priority is perts, fcl, writers

  11. The Great Knoche says:
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    Gio and Kemp/ Arrieta and Pollack

    Which side Ya like?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Great Knoche: good one, depends on need. Arrieta will be better than Gio but if you need the speed I go Pollock and Arrieta. Kemp will have more AB’s than Pollock, if that matters

  12. The Great Knoche says:
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    Actually looking at it for that reason cause Pollack getting benched keeps pissing me off.

    • The Great Knoche says:
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      @The Great Knoche: sorry that was supposed to be a reply.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @The Great Knoche: can they do better than that or try going after a Polanco or Garnder for speed

  13. A Hill O' Beans says:
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    Liking the format here Jack, coming along nicely. My team dominated in pitching this week, too bad the offense was lagging. Anytime Edwin, Bautista, and Pujols wanna get their s#it together would be good. Since I’m second overall in saves, top 20 in ERA, and top 50 in WHIP I think its my offense from those three keeping me outside the top 25 overall.

    82 IP / 79 K / 8 W / 6 SV / 0.99 ERA / 0.85 WHIP – Braves massive line
    51 IP / 56 K / 4 W / 12 SV / 1.59 ERA / 0.86 WHIP – My line this week

    Question for you Jack, any chance of getting K/GS in the master standings? Since there’s a GS limit and no inning limit its probably a lot more meaningful than K/9. While I’m asking, how about GS and W/GS? Its impossible to know if your pace is good in Ks and Ws when the guys your chasing may have used twice as many starts than you or half as many.

    Either way, nice work Jack!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @A Hill O’ Beans: Thats a good question, I’ll ask Vin if he can add it to the spread sheet. What I do to check pace is take my K’s and divide them by my game starts. In one league I have 10.11 which is crazy high. If you are 8 or above you should be fine

      • A Hill O' Beans says:
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        @J-FOH: That’s exactly what I do, which is why I was hoping to see K/GS in the master standing to compare to everyone. My team is currently at 9.5 K/GS. I think anything over 9 is great, and there’s only one other team over 8 K/GS in my RCL, so I think I’m good in Ks.

        I’m also at about 0.8 W/GS which is well ahead of the pack in my RCL.

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
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        @J-FOH: It’s a problem because we use the “active stats” pages (which also give IP and AB), and GS appear on the “standings” pages.
        I’m seeing if my brother has an easy solution.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @VinWins: sounds like too much work. These guys just need to play wire to wire and let it be whatever it is

  14. New York Braves (Mike) says:
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    I appreciate all the love! I had a really good week all around, and I hope it continues. I haven’t been streaming at all/haven’t been too busy on the WW. I’m trying to be more relaxed than I usually am, trust my draft picks a little deeper into the fantasy season than I usually do, and ride my horses as far as they’ll take me.

    We’ll see how it goes this week!

    Thanks, guys!

  15. Yescheese says:
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    As a format recommendation on week-to-week random league analysis, I much prefer the straight-up Foh Roast. Play to your strengths J-Foh. You have a gift man. Roast them RCLers!!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Yescheese: sounds good, why don’t you post links to your teams and you can be the first contestant.

  16. royce! says:
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    Icarused? Which is what is going to happen to all of my teams where I own Ian Kennedy, apparently.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: I was watching a bunch of skateboard fail / falls videos for inspiration. I got nothing

      • royce! says:
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        @J-FOH: Good instinct…I swear there’s a term for nailing your balls on a handrail but I can’t think of it and google is not helping

        • J-FOH says:
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          @royce!: I’ll ask some of my skater buddies

  17. royce! says:
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    Broke the 100 moves mark in one RCL the other day…only have 60 or so moves in ours, b/c I have a lot of closers so I can’t just drop em.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: I broke it last week

  18. royce! says:
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    Razzberries. Or Brazzballers.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: razzberries, would that be the mark from the fall?

      • royce! says:
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        @J-FOH: Nah, man, that was my wife’s suggestion for the term for female readers…mine was the other.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @royce!: brazzballers feels like a playing style. But I like it

  19. royce! says:
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    R 3!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: really bro? Really?

      • royce! says:
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        @J-FOH: Sorry, I take it back.

  20. royce! says:
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    ASK ME ANOTHER QUESTION, JACK!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: what do you get when you put a gang of razzballeros into a room full of …..no scratch that you already know the answer. Why do I feel like more of a man when I drink a cheap beer than if I drink a craft beer?

      • royce! says:
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        @J-FOH: Yo soy un razzballero!

        Because you have more money left for beard grooming supplies?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @royce!: no but close

  21. the swinging says:
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    103.5 points after today. Still correcting my era. I’m gona get that t shirt.

    #the swinging

    • J-FOH says:
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      @the swinging: keep swinging for the fences

      • the swinging says:
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        @J-FOH: I spoke too soon. 105 points and counting…

        LET’S GO!!!

  22. Dusty Baker says:
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    a one day plunge from atop of the perch is typically referred to as ” Fisted like a hand puppet at the Sunday Matinee ” ——– I know it streams away from your Latino Theme, but hey, thats French, Baby. —————– Peace’ – DB

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Dusty Baker: maybe we can name after you and call it choking on your toothpick?

  23. pbmax says:
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    STL Browns owner here; feeling better about getting back to the top 10. I did have 12th pick which makes it more sweet. OPS league question; I have Billy H. and need SP more than anything. What SPs are worth him?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @pbmax: I like high SP2 like Shields or Salazar or Richards maybe even Arrieta

Comments are closed.