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How do I follow up my Cinco de Mayo intro this past week? There is no Doce de Mayo holiday, even though it has a catchy ring to it. So if I can’t play the Mexican card, then what am I to do? I know, I can talk about you… no-no-no, I already do that for most of this post. Too much you and not enough me makes Jack a dull boy. There is nothing worse than reading me wrestle my personalities in print, I mean, that’s what I have a therapist for. Blah, I’m stumped, the only thing I’ve had going on was watching Daredevil on Netflix. It was required, or at least I think it was, by our fantasy master lothario, and let me tell you, it’s friggin awesome. Dark and violent? Yes, thank you, and please give me some more. Seriously though, go watch it and then come back and let’s talk. Okay, enough of that rambling, let me get back to you guys… and girls. We having fun yet? The RCL’s are starting to hit their stride, and if you are failing, it might be time to cut bait on a few lost souls. You still have lots of time to make up ground, but if they are showing no signs of life or are easily replaceable then I would do it. Elvis Andrus comes to mind, he is more frustrating than dating a girl with a chastity belt. He might be super relevant later but every day that he takes you farther down is another day you could be batty calling his spot til something sticks. Before I move on I have one last thing. Have any of you ever taken a massive one day nose dive in the standings, like 8 points bad, that allows some a**hole below you to jump into first place? This can also apply to the RCL’s and the Master Standings too. Well that happened to a friend of mine and I guess this a**hole had to go and bring it up in front of everyone like the d**k he is. Wait, can I type d**k? Anythehoo, we should have a glossary term for when your team takes a massive one day fall in the standings. Please leave your suggestions in the comments.

 

Category Leaders in Week 5

After having five ties last week we get all solo shots this time. Actually, if we took last weeks totals vs. this weeks totals then week 5 would of won 6-4. Sorry week 4. Am I the only one who loves the FIPping the Bird league name? Well done whoever came up with that. Oh, and look, a JayWrong league in here again. How many leagues do you host Jay? [Jay’s Note: Innumerable. The better question is, how many am I no higher than eighth place in?] I have one too, can anyone figure out which one it is? I have a question for anyone on this list. How much are you guys streaming/batty calling? Let me know below.

RUNS 67  Mully Gann Jr.  RCL FIPping the Bird
HR 22  kumamoto expungers  The Captains of Outer Space
RBI 74  No Chickensit  FUBAR
SB 17  Mully Gann Jr.  RCL FIPping the Bird
AVG .357  Team terry  Jawns
K 97  Uncle Red  Razzball DC
W 11  Professor Chaos  Death by 5 x 5
SV 13  Pujolio .  Take on Jay #5
ERA 0.99  New York Braves  Razzballz to the Wallz
WHIP 0.76  Team Sig  Hamiltons Dandruff

Note: ERA and WHIP are based off 40 innings pitched minimum.

 

The RCL Top 10, Week 5

This is the best around!… For the season… so far. Do you want to be Daniel Larusso? Then you got to beat all the Cobra Kai’s and win the All Valleys RCL Championship. Word around the office is that the grand prize is Sky jumping out of a cake in your living room and doing a strip tease to the the tune of Moment of Truth by Survivor. The table below contains the rank, team name, league name, RCL points, and League Index.

1 Unpainted Arizona HA! 108.66 103
2 Backdoor Sliders Razzball Champion’s League 108.50 106
3 I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing! Take on Jay #1 108.28 101
4 Nick the Dick FCL 107.48 107
5 drunc orks Euro Razzball 106.02 100
6 RA the Rugged D ickeys King Ralph’s Emporium 104.56 101
7 St Louis Browns Don’t even remember last year 104.49 97
8 New York Braves Razzballz to the Wallz 104.30 103
9 Money Ballers JB’s RCL 103.81 100
10 Hate Us Cause They Anus Tehol and Taints 103.16 103

Razzball Commenter Leagues 2015 MASTER STANDINGS

Last weeks number one team (team Harris) came as quick as they left. BTW, I don’t say he because I would hate to offend our 5 girl readers. I really wish the RCL ladies would have team names so I would know they are the ladies. I’ll let you guys make suggestions for them in the comments and please try to be tasteful….or at least Razzpectful. Sorry, back to the rundown. previously unranked Unpainted Arizona from the very solid league HA! jumps up to reign supreme for week 6. Well done UA. The usual suspects of backdoor, wood and dick are still hanging out together with backdoor holding the 2 hole, wood maintaining the 3 and the dick rising up in the top ten and holding down the fourth. The drunk orcs cracks the list this week at five while Nick the Dicks other team and ode to the great RA rises up to the 6th spot and fulfills the prophecy that legends never die. The St. Louis Browns returns to the top 10 this week at 7 while this week’s team profile (it’s a new edition below) the New York Braves takes over 8th. Last weeks 7th the Moneyballers is this weeks 9th and last weeks 4th the Anus is now 10th. That’s it for the top ten this week and great job all of you.

 

Team Profile

I got an email from Vin this morning that gave me a heads up about a team that just laid down an epic week of pitching. The New York Braves have put up a one week line so awesome that it needed its own paragraph. Getting redonk two start week’s from Michael Pineda, Aaron Harang and Madison Bumgarner  and then pairing them up with Bartolo Colon, Shelby Miller, Jonathan Niese and Zach Greinke is just the start to this notable week. One earned run among 11 relief innings and we got gold here. It’s funny but not really that I am always chasing the middle relief stats by streaming MR’s when a few of these starters were streamable this week and I didn’t pull the trigger on them. Dammit! Very well done Braves. This has propelled you into the top ten and got your name all over this post.

IP H ER BB K W SV ERA WHIP
82 56 9 14 79 8 6 0.99 0.85

 

League vs. League, Week 5

As I try to mix it up over here and look for new avenues I bring you a league vs league vs league vs league…oh you get the point, week 5 stats comparison. Before the season started our resident data miner Vin chose these leagues to track in our RCL spreadsheets. I took that data and my trusty calculator and the result is this. Now why would I do this? First, I don’t want you getting bored with the same thing week after week. I had a great response to the changes last week and wanted to keep some curveballs coming. Secondly, I think if some of you are struggling with the format then you can look in on these leagues and see how they are getting it done. I’ve had commenters in the past say they would add Grey and Rudy’s league to their favorites and peek in at what players were being added. Hey it’s a strategy. Third, and yes I do thirds, Grey is the one who hates the number 3, this is a good mix of writers and readers who have been around these parts for a long time and have some great strategies down pat. The Original Recipe is probably the oldest league that I can think of. It’s kinda cool they get together year after year. Fourth, ah-ha there is no fourth, that’s reserved for the horsemen…WOOOOO! The big take away here are the leagues with the high index’s below are the ones doing batty calls/streaming as demonstrated by the HR’s, Wins and SB totals. For example with HR’s, take that extra ten or so a week and by the end of the season that league just hit 200 plus more home runs than your league. These are the kind of strategies that help you win your league and if you are the only one in the league doing it then you have lots of ripe options every week to pick from. Trust me, have a few fluid spots on your roster and try it out. The hitter-tron is a great resource when trying to make a one day call. You can also stream the hot schmotatos or even read our daily DFS guys who are always searching for the great one day calls. Until next week, vaya con dios!

 LEAGUE HR SB SV W INDEX
 FCL  130  76  48  50  107
 ECFBL  130  72  48  45  105
 HA!  120  69  47  46  103
 Original Recipe 2015  118  67  48  49  99
 Razzball Champion’s League  123  73  48  50  106
 Razzball RCL Writers League  110  66  48  43  101
 RCL ‘Perts  117  68  45  40  100

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