Here we go yo. Here we go yo. So what so what so what’s the scenario. I’ll tell you what the scenario is. I’m not sure if I’m “throw my laptop against the wall” angry or just “fuck it I’ll drink another TreeHouse IPA and maybe punch the wall later” angry. Either way, I’m not happy. I just lost in the two-week finals of my eighteen year head-to-head points league by nine points. Nine points! How did I lose? Let me count the ways. But before I do, a little background information. In eighteen years I have four championships, including last year. No one else has four, or a back-to-back championships. I have two second place finishes (now three), and three third place finishes. I get it, as far as you know I could be playing in a league with eleven guys that rode the short bus to school. Heck, they still might. Not that there is anything wrong with anyone that rides the short bus, but the point is that I’m telling you all how well I’ve done in this league and you have no idea how strong the competition is, or is not. Here’s what I will say, eight of the owners are owners I from whom I’d seek advice if they weren’t in my league. I’m not a fan of several of the league’s rules, but they are enforced upon us all and that keeps us on a level playing field.
So let’s get back to me not winning back-to-back championships. How did I let this happen? Or I should say “not happen”. Well the first reason could be because it is a weekly lineup league. As a result, once a pitcher has his start bumped or moved, you are shit out of luck. In the case of Corey Kluber, this didn’t make a big deal from the perspective that I would have started him no matter what. The part that sucks is that if he got that second start, he most certainly would have earned me at least 9 points. In fact, his start on Monday (which should have been Sunday) night against the White Sox earned him 32 points. A day late and a dollar short!
This next one is certainly worse as it’s entirely my fault. In the second week (we get to change our lineups each week), I started Jon Gray over Zack Greinke. The reason I chose Gray was because he had two starts. I went with quantity over quality. I should have titled this post “Quality Over Quantity“. Jon Gray bombed in his first start (last Monday), resulting in a whopping negative 14 points. Immediately following said awful start it was announced that he’d be bumped from his second start. As if the -14 points wasn’t a big enough kick in the nuts. Had I started Greinke, who tallied 13 points, I would have had 27 more points and would be bragging about my fifth championship in 18 seasons. Instead I’m bitching about my shortcomings. By the way, Gray also pitched Monday and scored 29 points. Again, a day late and a dollar short.
So that’s two excuses for losing, how about a third. Well look no further than Christian Yelich. That bag of shift dropped a cycle on me in the finals. As a matter of fact, it was his second cycle in the 2018 playoffs. There were three cycles all season. Yelich had two of them and they were occurred when it counted the most. In my league we have a 15-point bonus for cycles. I’m not a fan of awarding bonuses and lobbied against the rule when it was put in place many years back. Well, those 15 points sure did keep me out of the winner’s circle. Yippee!
And finally for the coup de grâce. On Wednesday, September 12th, an official scorer decided I wasn’t going to win. We all know that a starting pitcher must pitch at least five innings in order to qualify for the win. He only needs to throw one pitch to qualify for the loss however. Chase Anderson only went four innings, leaving the game with a 2-0 lead. According to the rules, however, Anderson could not earn the double-u. Five relievers followed, but only Corey Knebel pitched more than an inning, going one and two thirds with two strikeouts and a hit. The Brewers never relinquished the lead the entire game, but apparently Josh Hader‘s inning pitched in the 8th was enough for the scorer to award him the win. It just so happens that in this league a pitcher gets ten points for win. How many did I lose by? Oh yeah, nine. I’m not so good at math, but I think this didn’t help my cause.
On a side note, does anyone think that if Josh Hader wasn’t pitching in the MLB that he would have been as sorry as he claims to be for his racist tweets? He said they don’t reflect his beliefs now. You mean his beliefs now that they could negatively effect his paycheck. Josh Hader is indeed a hater. Alanis Morrissette thinks that’s ironic. Who would have thought.
I guess I’d be leaving out some of the facts if I didn’t mention the fact that Justin Verlander scored 96 points over the two weeks. In 20 innings pitched that bastard struck out 32 batters. He’s got to be the American League Cy Young Award winner, right? Sorry Blake Snell, but you’ll have to wait till next year. Snell you later!
As you can see (or read), there were several reasons I did not win my World Series. I can blame it on Christian Yelich. I can blame it on Justin Verlander. I can blame it on some no name official scorer (if anyone has his name and address please let me know). I can even go Milli Vanilli style and blame it on the rain. But no matter how I slice and dice it, I’m going to have to wait at least another year until I can until I can bust out the Booker T “five time” champion speech.
Follow malamoney on Twitter at @malamoney
