Tim Lincecum has a 6.07 ERA. Seriously, we’re in July and Lincecum’s ERA is six point oh seven. There’s ugly. There’s brutal. There’s murderous. There’s the guy with the goiter down the street from you that you talked to at a red light once and now he wants to hang out. There’s what your mother did […]
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Heading into this fantasy season, Carlos Zambrano had all the momentum of three red bulls and a pot of coffee. Flashing a high K-rate in Spring Training and a change of scenery to the flamboyant Marlins Park had a lot of sleeper buzz going around the water cooler. And, for the first month and a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Fugs (Epic Beardmen Division) regained top spot in the Master standings, moving up 5 positions with help from a pitching staff that recorded a 1.70 ERA and 0.91 WHIP. Yovani Gallardo and Madison Bumgarner paced The Fugs, while Gio Gonzalez added 2 wins despite throwing only 11 innings and giving up 8 runs. captainpyper […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever. Because you never get on base, that’s the first step to going […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I don’t use the term “creeper” as a pejorative in this weekly post (after all, I’m highlighting players I think will give your teams a boost), but it still kind of feels wrong to put our subject and “creeper” in the same sentence. Let’s ameliorate, shall we? One of the nicest (and largest) guys in […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yasmani Grandal is starring in an off-off Broadway production of OBPwulf. Since everyone was supposed to read Beowulf, but no one has actually ever read it, the play starts with Grandal standing on first after a walk, and then he stands there and stands there and stands there, waiting for another Padre hitter to get him […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?By the numbers, Manny Machado struggled through his first two months of Double-A baseball. It seemed like most nights I looked at Bowie’s box, Machado’s line was 0-fer. But then I’d read something from the O’s about how his current production was of no concern, that he was tweaking his approach, that scouts are still […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Chicago White Sox started a three game series with the Yankees last night and came up with a huge win. Jose Quintana pitched 6.0 innings, gave up 8 hits, 6 ER, 5 Ks, and got the win. As far as starts at Yankee Stadium go, this one could have been a lot worse. If […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The week leading up to the All Star break is always fun times for me — it’s when I can take my paid vacation to beautiful Bayonne, NJ. My all-inclusive cab ride includes a firsthand view of a few muggings, a stop for gas, and a flavored shaved ice from Primo, the traveling shaved ice […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Let’s get in the Wayback Machine. Back in March, Zsa Zsa Gabor was still alive, there wasn’t a legitimate Republican candidate for the White House and Desmond Jennings had loads of potential. Now stepping out of the Wayback Machine we realize those three things are still true. Time keeps on slipping and Zsa Zsa keeps […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks. This year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?With about a month before we hit MLB’s July 31st trade deadline, let’s take a look at a few teams with closers who may be moved by that time. Colorado Rockies: At 37 years old, Rafael Betancourt clearly isn’t the long-term option for the Rockies, but he has been extremely effective since being acquired from […]
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