The New Manny in Town

July 4, 2013 | fantasy baseball keepers | 29 Comments

There’s a ping-pong tournament going on in my office today and I wasn’t invited to play. It’s not because they all hate me, but because I just started here — a magazine in New York — and the tournament was bracketed and made before I actually came on board.

At least that’s what they tell me. Little do they know, I often played in tournaments in my Tampa days, so them dawgs is lucky. I’m picturing them wafting shots back and forth like pure n00bs, giggling at the new d-bag who’s upstairs editing stories and deflecting annoying, frivolous emails from the digital team. “Hey Terse, do you approve of the latest SEO titles we put up for the latest magazine issue?” “Yeah, for the eighth time, everything is fine.” “Ok, splendid! How’re you doing in the ping-pong tournament?” “They didn’t have room for me.” “LOL YOU SUCK.” “I know… I know I do, Marc.” Perhaps they all dislike how I insist on being called Terse. I feel like David Adams — everyone hates me before I even get a chance to do anything good. Hopefully there’s not a steroided, crappy Twitter-user waiting in the shadows, willing to pounce and take my spot once his dead hips are resuscitated. I can’t compete with a 38-year-old ex-magazine MVP, I just can’t. I WON’T. Speaking of A-Rod, I think you should pick him up and use him for this year and plan on keeping him for 2014 and 2015. There’s still life in there.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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#	MLB Starting Lineups For Thu 8/14
	ARI \| ATL \| BAL \| CHC \| CLE \| COL \| DET \| MIA \| MIN \| NYM \| PHI \| SEA \| TOR \| WSH \| ATH \| BOS \| CHW \| CIN \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIL \| NYY \| OAK \| PIT \| SD \| SF \| STL \| TB \| TEX

Puig, Bo Ran Up Walls, Not Into Them

July 4, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 535 Comments

by: Grey

Happy Fourth of July, unless you own Yasiel Puig, then you’re wondering if A) He’s healthy B) Where was Carlos Quentin during this? If you haven’t seen it, here’s another look of Puig crashing into the wall. Why do I suddenly want to buy a Subaru? This comes the same day he won Player and Rookie of the Month honors. That’s the first time a player has won Player of the Month honors their first month in the majors. It’s not the first time a player has won Rookie of the Month honors in their first month. If that’s surprising, you should take your medication. After crashing into the wall, Puig originally stayed in the game and he’s a cyborg, so I think he escaped without anything serious happening. Right now, he’s listed as day-to-day with a bruised hip and thigh. Let’s hope it heals quickly because I just sold my Cougar’s engagement ring for 3,000 Yasiel Puig rookie cards. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Razzball Podcast — The One Where JayWrong And JB Enter The Cage

July 3, 2013 | All Podcasts | 497 Comments

by: Grey

It’s officially the mid-way point of the season (you know, 81 game mark in 162 game season) and with the long weekend coming up, Nick got lazy with this week’s installment, rather, more lazy. A podcast on a Wednesday? What is this France? Any the hoo! Nick had JB and JayWrong on at the same time to battle it out in a match of “Guess who’s projections these are.” JayWrong wiped the floor with JB; JB said it was because he was hungry. I heard the fight between JB and JayWrong gets completely out of control, but I wouldn’t know because I’m on by myself. Why do I feel like the special needs kid that is tutored separately from all of his friends and is told, “Grey, you need special attention, because you’re creative in ways the other kids aren’t.” I used the name Grey there, but I’ve never actually heard that line said to me. I’m not special at all. Quite ordinary. Singing John Legend, “We’re just ordinary PEOPLE!” Man, I love that song. Rudy comes on the ‘cast and talks about similar halfway mark stats jazz, then I talk about everyone’s favorite player that they own or least favorite player that they don’t own, Chris Davis. Then I drop on you a surprising buy for the 2nd half. A guy you haven’t heard me say I like in the last 24 months or so. I also drop into your eardrums my biggest sell for the 2nd half. It’s a doozy or my name isn’t Cousin Brucie. Finally, Rhino Energy wanted to help Razzballers party like animals all weekend so they’re giving away a case of Rhino Energy drinks to the person who comments first with the trivia answer to: What European country, and home of Rhino Energy, is known for its fall festival where ample-bosomed waitresses serve you steins of beer? Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with JayWrong and JB applying oil to their arms and legs so they can grapple):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings – Stacking Up On Brewers

July 3, 2013 | DraftKings | 20 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

So, I’m biased. If you’ve been reading me for a while you know I’m a Brewers homer, but that doesn’t make me a sucker in fantasy. I dumped Yovani Gallardo years ago, rode the Mike Fiers train and exited quickly, and own Carlos Gomez everywhere I could. Then again, I had John Axford last year in a lot of leagues. Yikes!

The point I’m trying to get at here, is I think knowing a lot about a particular team can give you great insight, especially in daily leagues like our friends over at DraftKings. There will be days I choose no Brewers, and days like Friday in our RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE CAN YOU BEAT RUDY GAMBLE contest where I go homer heavy. When Bernie Brewer slides down the yellow slide, I’m going to be pretending I see the green face of Benjamin Franklin and not the Brewers logo on the waving flag!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No Hitting On The Docket For Ol’ Bailey

July 3, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 346 Comments

by: Grey

Homer Bailey threw his second career no-hitter, and it was the first time a player who looked identical to Christian Bale has thrown the last two no-hitters in the major leagues. Johnny Vander Meer’s family is currently drawing bat ears on old photos of Johnny to try and contest that record. Nolan Ryan was the last non-Balehead to throw the majors back-to-back no-hitters in 1974 and ’75, but the coincidences don’t end there! Back then the only live action Batman was Adam West, and Nolan was pitching as far West as you can go in California and Joe West called Ryan’s fifth no-hitter and Kanye West wasn’t born yet but Jesus was and that’s who Kanye thinks he is. It’s a small word after all, which is played at Disneyland and that’s in Anaheim where Nolan played. My brain is bugging out! Bailey seems like he’s a one-game-a-year pitcher, but he’s been terrific all year. He’s in the top ten for FIP and has the 4th best K-rate in that group. That’s not a 2nd or third fantasy starter; that’s an ace, over-the-internet friend. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When Ike Comes Around

July 2, 2013 | OPS Leagues | 81 Comments

by: Tom Jacks

Ike Davis had an epic 21^st century breakdown this year that has rendered his fantasy baseball owners jaded and viewing this basket case as a true American idiot. What a nimrod! I’ll admit that I screamed in silence after owning him this year, but let’s try to take the long view here. Yes, he’s 2,000 light years away on holiday in the minors after leading your team down a boulevard of broken dreams, but this a warning that Ike, walking contradiction that he is, could finally come around to what we previously expected. I might be a minority here, but, in the end, I still believe he’s capable of producing an .800+ OPS in the majors. Some players temporarily burnout, while other are able to make things click when you least expect it. Right, Chris Davis? We’ve all been waiting a long time for him to see the light and I will look to grab him where I have an open bench spot. Hopefully we’ll be welcomed to paradise. If his stats go kerplunk a final time, then I’ll be willing to bid him a permanent good riddance. Anyway, here are some other players that have my ear in OPS leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Prospect Power Rankings, Week 13

July 2, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 115 Comments

by: Scott Evans

There hasn’t been much turnover from our last revision until now, so the names here are pretty much the same ones we’ve been talking about for a few weeks. There are a few exceptions, though: Grant Green was on the list much earlier this season, but disappeared from these ranks for the last several weeks. His recent hot streak in conjunction with Oakland’s need of a reliable second baseman has propelled him all the way up to #3. Xander Bogaerts also makes his top 10 debut this week. Other than that, there’s a little bit of shuffling around, but the core group (Erasmo, Yelich, C-Mart, Taveras, Castellanos, Hamilton) is still intact.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL Update: July 2

July 2, 2013 | Our Leagues | 21 Comments

by: VinWins

Slocemb If You Got Em (Daily Bases) give us another new leader as they squeak by That’s a Shame (Bold Predictions) for a two-tenths of a point margin. Slocemb had a great draft, and still roster 21 of the 25 players they selected, including Joey Votto (10), Jose Bautista (15), Adam Jones (34), Manny Machado (135), Jean Segura (231), Domonic Brown (274), and Shelby Miller (289). Miller, Jordan Zimmermann, and Max Scherzer anchor a pitching staff that features an ERA of 3.00 and 1.01 WHIP. Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jose Shows San Diego Who Their Padre Is

July 2, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 880 Comments

by: Grey

When Jose Fernandez walks into the 18-and-over strip club, where only the drinks are virgins, that’s called “Rookie Nookie,” he flips his rookie cards like they’re dollar bills, yelling, “Jose make it rain! Jose make it rain! Get it? Hoe say, ‘Make it rain.'” He explains his puns, but he doesn’t need to explain his stuff. It’s filthy with a side of Dirt Nasty. Last night, his line was 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (2 hits) and 10 Ks. Sure, it was against the Padres, but Nolasco just got his asco handed to him by the same team. Fernandez is in the upper echelon of K-rates (9+) for all pitchers with a more than manageable walk rate (hair above 3). Oh, and he’s 20 years old. He can’t buy alcohol! He can’t legally marry an illegal alien in the state of Mississippi without parental consent! He’s so young Jose Tabata’s wife could’ve gave birth to him! He skipped right from High-A to the majors, so this is basically his Double-A season. I just got goose pimples on my butt thinking about how good he can be next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pitcher Profile: Zack Rocked Like A Wagon Wheeler

July 1, 2013 | Pitcher Profiles | 87 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

I am back with another Pitcher Profile Razzball Nation! I was out of town last week and unable to work on multiple screens slash was sipping daiquiris on vacation. True story. Ask Sky. Then ask him what drink we came up with while my daiquiri was half melted and looked like a prop from Hostel.

As I try to do every week, I like picking a guy who pitched on Sunday to keep things topical. I also like to do profiles on pitchers that have been requested. And Zack Wheeler pitched on Sunday! The stars have aligned to give everyone an introspective look and how he… well… looked.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Raj-Mahal of SAGNOF

July 1, 2013 | Uncategorized | 34 Comments

by: Mike

It may have been hard to catch Grey’s BUY post last Friday, because it was littered with SAGNOF outfielders. We’ll take a look at some of those guys today, with a special focus on Rajai Davis of the Blue Jays, who recently found himself some steady playing time in left field while Melky Cabrera is on the DL. As you’re reading this, I’m on the road to the Jersey Shore with my family for the Fourth of July, so I apologize in advance if I’m not as quick as usual with the comments. Speaking of Grey and Jersey, the main man talked about how New Jersey, my home state, looks like the profile of Kid from Kid ‘n’ Play. I have to say I was impressed. I like that image better than the American Indian profile they taught us in school. It’s probably more politically correct, too. Hats off to you, Grey! If only you had been my third grade teacher…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Justin Gets His Masters In Shutoutography

July 1, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 798 Comments

by: Grey

This post comes to you by the power of Greyskull! I have the power! The power of Greyskull dropped Justin Masterson earlier in the year after one bad start. I have a power outage! Then the power of Greyskull watched as the power of Rudyskull picked him up and has been reaping the rewards ever since, but the power of Rudyskull benched Masterson yesterday, so the power of Greyskull let out a small, fleeting smile. Yesterday, Masterson threw a complete game shutout. He’s been great all year with a 9+ K-rate. Yadda, yadda eff me. Just above him on the K-rate chart is a who’s who of the pitchers you want: F-Her, Sale, Samardzija, Miller, Harvey, Yu, Scherzer, etc. etc. etc. He also has one of the worst walk rates in that group (not bad overall, just in that group), which will hold Masterson out of the top tier of pitchers this year, but will make him ownable in all leagues and why the power of Greyskull failed me. I wonder if Skeletor is hiring. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?