I’m the new guy here at Razzball, but there’s no need to be stuffing me in lockers or treating me to a lunch time swirly in the men’s room — I’ve been around the block for a while. Shoot, I was playing fantasy sports before this great thing called the interweb existed. When I first started I had to fax in my lineups for weekly leagues! I’m not old, I prefer the term “seasoned”. [Ed. Note — That seasoning comes with an AARP discount, no?] Don’t think of me as the Kathy Bates of the Razzball team, rather I prefer to be thought of as the Helen Mirren of the bunch — you know, “the hot older temptress that if you were slightly buzzed and on vacation you wouldn’t mind…” kinda type. Nah’msayin???
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It may only be for two games, but Dee Gordon draws a nice match-up against the Tigers to start the week. Gordon is already in mid-season SAGNOF form, hitting over .400 with 3 steals entering Sunday’s game. Alex Avila can’t catch a cold. In 2013 he caught base stealers at a 17% clip. That was well below the 28% league average. Word on the street is that he spent the off-season catching up on Breaking Bad and True Detective instead of working on his times to second base, so here’s hoping the good times continue. Tuesday’s probable starter Anibal Sanchez gave up a steal every seven innings pitched last year and the battery should be an easy target for a speedster like Gordon. I found the info on Sanchez using the new SB Rates vs. SP tool here at Razzball. It’s a big help when deciding which pitcher’s to target for stolen bases in your daily match-ups.
There was a tear in the fabric of the SAGNOF universe during Opening Week. Pedro Alvarez stole a base off of Yadier Molina while Billy Hamilton was caught. Black is white. up is down. We’ve gone through the looking glass, folks. Seriously though, Hamilton looks lost. Good thing we have SAGNOF options for all of us schlubs who didn’t draft him in the first five rounds. Here are this week’s steals plays…
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DraftKings: Week One is in the books. The MLB 2014 season is now only a wee one week old and aww look it’s drooling. Or is that you? No it was me; I couldn’t stand that long awful thingy called winter in which there was no baseball. Now that it is back, we have enjoyed every second whether it is Puig’s blunders or some Trumbo-bombs. So hey, while you’re enjoying all this warm gooey baseball-ness why not make a lil money doing it? Everybody is doing it. Ok maybe not everybody but they should be. I started playing DFS myself this baseball season and I am hooked. On with the show …
This being my first run on Razzball lets go over the basics. First, while you’re here on the Razz check out the Stream-O-Nator and see who it likes for today’s pitchers. Secondly, click on the tab that says Hitter-Tron. Its going to give you some guys who can handle the wood. Wait, ew, nevermind they can do the batting thing more preferably than other guys. Man, this is just going downhill fast isn’t it? Click here on our sponsored DraftKings link to get to safety and I’ll get it back together. The Stream-o-nator seems to like Michael Wacha the most and at a $8,400 price tag he’s not a bad value. Not my cup o tea, though, and I’ll tell you why below as we discuss Draftkings picks for 4/7/2014 for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…
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You Wince Some, You Bruise Thumb
April 7, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 696 Commentsby: Grey
You’re about to get busted. Do you go harder, become more brazen, with the illegal activity or attempt to clean up your act quickly so you don’t get punished more severely? I don’t know. This is where fantasy baseball meets a PBS Frontline special. I think different people react in different ways. Not to get all philosophical on you like your college philosophy prof who would invite you over for lavash and hummus and marijuana, then try to feel up your girlfriend, but last year’s Ryan Braun — 9 homers in 61 games — could be exactly what he is off of PEDs. There’s no way of knowing when he was or wasn’t using. If he knew he was about to get suspended last year, he might’ve laid off of everything and been totally clean for that decent but not spectacular partial season, even while he battled a thumb issue. The same thumb issue that has resurfaced this year. I should’ve been more aggressive in the preseason about pointing that Braun wasn’t healthy last year. The kind of unhealthy that has lingered into this year. He admitted the other day that he was unable to take a normal swing due to battling a nerve issue. Or if you’re reading in your best Curly voice, a noive issue. That’s hella bad with hella having a hashtag that says 2004. I wouldn’t sell him for fifty cents on the dollar, but I’d be interested to see if someone would give me 85 or 90 cents on the dollar. Or if someone would give me the Euro exchange rate. Why are they still making pennies?! Tell me Yahoo! Answers! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
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The greatest sporting event in the history of mankind takes place tonight (if all of mankind lived in a Louisiana trailer park and were named Mick Foley) – Wrestlemania! I’ll admit I come from the deep south of the far north where the pro rasslin’ rivals lobster wranglin’ and coffee brandy drinkin’ as favorite sports. I’ll also admit I haven’t watched wrestling since I was about 11 when Ivan Putski delivered the “Polish Hammer” upside the head of Superstar Billy Graham at the Lewiston Armory. Fortunately, my Hulk Hogan costume still fits! You may be asking yourself, “Guru, you got that turban on too tight? What do headlocks, pile drivers and the ‘Camel Clutch’ have to do with fantasy baseball?” Well, my Razzballin’ Rick Rude lovers, they are both fake sports and I have 1500 words to fill. This week’s jam or cram has your handsome-but-nonetheless-figure-four-leglocking Guru comparing those old school wrestlers to fantasy ballers that could crown you king of the ring. We’re not talking Mike Trout here. We all know he’s the Iron Sheik of fantasy ball and he’ll make any team he faces humble. We are digging down into the lower levels of the waiver wire (owned 50% or less in most leagues, although it can vary league to league for reasons only Matthew Berry knows) searching for the players that will knock the competition stone cold – Gimme a hell yea! With us Razzballers just a week into the season, DL spots already filled, Closepocalypse 2 upon us and a number of studs delivering duds we have to make some early season roster shuffling. No, don’t panic yet and trade away Andrew McCutchen for Coco B. Crisp just because the dread pirate is being outperformed by a man and is parrot friend. We’re just looking for some outside interference à la Captain Lou Albano style to keep the fight going. With all that ‘splainin’ out of the way, it’s time for my signature move – it involves your eyes and my scotch. It’s time to jam it or cram it.
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Creeper of the Week: Come Avisail Away With Me
April 6, 2014 | Creeper of the Week | 59 Commentsby: J-FOH
I’m sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea, I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me. The Virgin Sea is Coors Field and you have got to be free to add Avisail Garcia ASAP. What sweet sweet rock n’ roll poetry to get week 2 of the season started. The 1970’s and early 80’s hit making band Styx provided me with that brilliant piece of intro for this week’s Creeper of the Week. Their classic, Come Sail Away, has been a radio staple, as well as a beautiful remade meoldy by Eric Cartman on South Park. In week 2, we get the early season gift of Avisail Garcia making his Coors debut and like any lover of sleepers out there we love these kind of trips. If I was wealthy, I’d hop a plane to cheer this 6’4 240lb Venenzuelan onto fantasy week 2 gold. I’d also want to go get a room in the team hotel (stalker alert) and that way I can make sure anytime he isn’t on the field no one is trying to disrupt this treasured hitter. Wait a minute, before you all think I’m crushing too hard on him be reminded I’m not the only person at Razzball with a crush on Avisail. (He was Jammed by the Guru, targeted by Grey, a sleeper by Grey, loved by Mike and Bill Mahoney in the White Sox Fantasy Preview, and is one of Jay’s top 100 keepers) So why is he only 11.6% owned in ESPN? I’ll tell you why, 88.4% of all ESPN leagues don’t read Razzball (for shame) and only contain ESPN employees and their family members. Thankfully we have a good readership in Yahoo who sports a 34% for my Creeper of the Week. Props to you Yahoo players for reading the Razz on the regular.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The golf geeks will flock to Augusta this week for the year’s first Major, but who wants to watch a bunch of dudes in plaid pants chase after a ball with a crooked stick when we have this. While senior citizens everywhere gear up for an exciting week in golf, I’ll be settling in to watch my boy Justin Masterson today.
This is my first DraftKings post. The last time I bet on baseball I ended up in a Mexican prison with blue eye shadow on my face, plastic bags on my feet, and this tattoo. I’m still trying to figure out how to squeeze the ‘t’ in there. That’s right… Uncle Mike has a sorted past. One day we’ll gather for a game of Pinochle and I’ll tell you the tales. Hopefully we’ll win enough coin in DFS to cover the therapy bills. I’ll be here every Sunday (AKA the Lord’s Day) for all of your Sunday baseball gambling needs. *dodges lightning bolt*
If you’re new to DraftKings, check out Sky’s primer from earlier this year. Be sure to utilize the Stream-o-Nator and Hitter-Tron in addition to these daily posts. Speaking of the Stream-o-Nator, it loves Justin Masterson today to the tune of $18.4 (that’s good). I hate to beat up on the Twins and they did win yesterday, but Masterson is a nice arm in a favorable matchup at a fair price of $8,300. Here’s some other picks for the 4/6/2014 contests on DraftKings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…
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Minor Accomplishments — Week 1
April 6, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 55 Commentsby: Scott Evans
It’s Saturday morning while I’m putting this post together, which means that the Minor League Baseball season is just two days old, and during those two days, we’ve had some bullshizz weather and a whole slew of postponements. This is all to say that there just aren’t too many accomplishments to speak of just yet — we’ll save those for the week 2 post. For this week, then, let’s run through some notable prospect assignments, team by team. For those of you tracking your dynasty league players, this should help sort out which box scores to keep an eye on. We’ll go in the order of my organization fantasy rankings.
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As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.
It feels like there’s a lot of overreaction going on this year. Maybe it’s just because I live in the Philadelphia sports market, where one day you’re a popular All-Pro with a banner on the side of the stadium and the next you’re slandered and labeled a malcontent gang-banger.
Or maybe it’s some of the fantasy writing I’m seeing this year where a guy changes course five times in the same thought – “Mike Olt was a great prospect for Texas, but we don’t see him holding onto the third base job in Chicago, then again it’s always possible his power stroke could be dangerous in Wrigley. Still, Olt is a rookie and should be treated as such, unless he gets on a roll. Then you should pick him up, if you want to. But you don’t have to. We would.”
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From the 30,000 foot view, it’s hard to see imperfections. This applies to corporate jargon (I’m a customer-facing, solution-oriented go-getter), this year’s Lollapalooza lineup, and even Chicago Cubs outfielder Junior Lake. As an aside, I was impressed with how unimpressive this year’s Lolla lineup is. Maybe it’s just me, but this will be only the second year since it’s been in Chicago that I won’t be going (last year was the first). But there’s no use crying over spilled neutral milk hotel. Instead, let’s always look on the bright side of life. The Fantasy Baseball God(s?) have provided us with many late-round and even waiver wire options this year that can bolster our team in OPS and OBP leagues, beginning with Mr. Lake.
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There really is no place like home if you play for the Rockies. Charlie Blackmon aka Chuck Nazty knows this better than anyone, and helped Colorado drop 12 runs on Arizona last night at Coors. Now slashing .563/.588/.938 on the early season, Blackmon admits his nickname hasn’t caught on quite like he hoped yet, but that’s because it’s a terrible nickname. I ain’t mad at cha, and if you keep having games this this we’ll call you whatever you want! Chuck Nazty was perfect yesterday, going 6-for-6, with 3 doubles, a 2-run home run, 4 runs and 5 RBI as the Rox managed 13 hits in their home opener. Now you know Carlos Gonzalez wasn’t about to get overshadowed on opening day, he’s the real Chuck Nazty, if anyone is. CarGo added 4 RBI and 2 hits, including a 2-run jack and free tacos for the entire state of Colorado! Every-body-gets-a-taco! Something tells me after Colorado’s new legislation, they’re going to be needing all the tacos they can get. Chuck Nazty, legalization, and free tacos? Get in the car, honey, we’re moving! By the way, I call my laptop “Honey.” Anyway, it’s probably not a stretch to say that Rockies fans are pretty high on Blackmon after today. Ha, that’s the title! Well, don’t light up your celebratory doobies just yet, Centennial Staters. Despite the huge day, Blackmon remains in a platoon in a crowded outfield featuring Corey Dickerson, who is a also a fairly exciting prospect, but perhaps Blackmon’s stellar play will force Walt Weiss to play him consistently. For now, C. Nazty could provide decent streaming value, especially when he’s a mile high. He managed a .309 average in 82 games in 2013 and after a strong spring he is a hot little potato right now and could be worth the speculative add while he’s hitting.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
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Picture this. Stephen Strasburg comes to you and says up close, I want you to draw me like one of your French Girls wearing this. At this moment, he pulls out his sports rope necklace from underneath his jersey. Sure, you respond as you pour over his fantasy baseball stats, clearly distracted and not mindful of the subject. And then he follows up this conversation with, wearing ONLY this…Oh and now it’s on. You quickly whip out your charcoal pencil set and diligently get to work as he lavishly drapes himself across an old davenport couch. Turn your head so I can’t see your oversized Adam’s Apple, you brusquely say. So serious, Stras says to you with a mock scowl upon his face but with a clear glint of mischievousness in his eye. But you don’t care as you are immersed within your art and all of the sudden you hear some weird Canadian singer tell you she believes the hot dogs will go on. And it’s at that moment you wake up from your nightmare screaming but while rocking a semi. Told you not to drink so much on a Friday night, bro! There’ll be pictures on the internet later. Last night was at ‘The Hangover’ level of messed up. But maybe the DraftKings Gods are trying to tell you something. Quickly! Rush to your nearest internet providing device and find that the Stream-O-Nator has him down as the second best pitcher to Price on the day. And then you dig a bit further and find him at $11,500 and it makes you worry that maybe the Rent Is Too Damn High. But then you dig even further and find out that the Atlanta Braves are still one of the worst in the game at striking out as their 2014 K rate (26.2%) is sitting up near where it was last year at 22.6%. And then you put the two together: The Braves strike out a lot and Strasburg strikes a lot of hitters out. Win + Win = EPIC WIN. Even the Hitter-Tron is lukewarm on Atlanta’s lineup and he’d squirt his motor oil on anything that moves if given the chance. All this to say, a 10K+ performance could happen and you kinda wanna be in on that action. But with all that out of the way, let’s tread on. Here’s our picks for 4/5/14 contests on Draftkings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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