“Schlurricane is the hottest sharp in daily fantasy sports! Nobody, and I mean nobody, can rival his recent success! He’s got today’s locks and I MEAN THEY ARE LOCKS!!! Schlurricane guarantees today’s picks or the rest of the season is free! That’s right, absolutely free!!! You heard it right, his information is so good that if you don’t win 5,000,000 dollars today every other piece of advice for the rest of this season, is 100% free! Call now to receive them on a recorded message. That number is 1-800-RAZZBALL.COM!!! THAT’S 1-800-RAZZBALL.COM!!!”
Ok, don’t call that number… But if you don’t win with this lineup today, the rest of my picks for the year are actually gonna be free. You don’t even have to hoard coupons for this deal.
When the higher ups (Sky in the plural tense) asked me if I could fill in a big Friday piece, I knew I had to bring it hard. Who brings it harder than those coked out Jersey hustlers who pretend to be kings of Vegas? Maybe the one guy who’s side job is in Tehol’s primary field of employment? Otherwise no one. The problem with those guys is they’re all BS. There’s no such thing as a lock and they know it. But, if they win, a bunch of suckas will sign up. If they lose, their crappy predictions become free to those sheepish enough to continue to follow. We don’t do that at Razzball. First of all, we got legit prediction tools thanks to the Stream-O-Nator and HitterTron. Second, we know our readers are sucka free! Tertiarily, (a Wiktionary special) we win, and want to share the chedda. But, you gotta supply your own milk. We’ll add the culture.
Remember, DFS, like all smart gambling, is only done well when you find advantages and trust it over time. It allows the anomalies to distance themselves from the norm. If it doesn’t win for you today, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. Today could be the anomaly. With that being said, I’m feeling really good about today’s lineup recommendation. Get yourself in a couple of 50/50 leagues and a couple of Triple Ups at DraftKings with the following.
Please, blog, may I have some more?