It’s trade deadline time, a full baseball weekend, and Grey is at a crawfish festival asking ladies whether he has any chum in his moustache. Anyway, the Indians spoiled the Yanks and Sawx plans by nabbing Ubaldo for a bunch of prospects including their top two pitching prospects (Drew Pomeranz and Alex White). Moving to the AL Central is definitely better for Ubaldo’s stock than the AL East and you’d think moving a mile closer to sea level for home games would help in the long run. I expect a good finish this year for him as ALers adjust to his stuff.
As for Pence, what a shocker that Philadelphia and Houston made a trade! Ruben Amaro Jr. is like the jerk in a fantasy baseball keeper league who keeps tapping the same goober (Ed Wade) for advantageous trades. The Phillies got Brad Lidge and Roy Oswalt the past two years and the Astros have Brett Wallace, JA Happ, and (had) Michael Bourn to show for it. Time will tell whether the prospects in this trade are worth it but the change in scenery should definitely help Pence. He hit 5th on Sunday which should give him some solid RBI opportunities behind Utley and Howard. Plus, he can look forward to many Pence-sylvania puns!
In other news…
Erik Bedard – The Red Sox nixed a trade with Oakland for Rich Harden because of injury concerns and then ok’d a trade to Seattle for Erik Bedard. When pressed on why they signed off on Bedard but not Harden, Red Sox doctors pointed out that Bedard’s right arm looked a lot healthier than Harden’s. We’re disappointed they didn’t pull off both trades. They could put Erich Bedarden as the probable starter and then start the healthy one. Suffice it to say, going from Seattle to Boston should only help Bedard’s Wins, hurt his ERA/WHIP, and maim non-New Englanders’ eardrums during unsuccessful home starts (You sahck cahk Bedahd!).
Michael Bourn – Traded to Atlanta for Jordan Schafer and the Atlanta B-prospect orchestra. This was all news to him when he woke up today in the wrong part of Atlanta, not knowing how he got there. Luckily he outran all his attackers until he was able to surmise his past role as a SAGNOF operative.
Rafael Furcal – Traded to the Cardinals. McCourt offered to send a $10,000 check as well if the Cards could just wire him $5,000. No real change in value for Furcal. He’s barely startable when healthy and barely healthy when he starts.
Dee Gordon – With Furcal traded, the Dee Gordon era has arrived in LA. Dodger fans, SAGNOF fans, and What’s Happening fans, rejoice!
Doug Fister – The Mariners traded Fister to a team (Tigers) where he might have a chance at the occasional win. Fister has 3 wins and 12 losses (only 2nd in the AL to Jeremy Guthrie’s 13 losses) despite a 3.33 / 1.17 ERA/WHIP. Fister’s lack of K’s (5.5 Ks) makes him only spot start worthy in shallow mixed leagues. I just wish Seattle would’ve added catcher Adam Moore to the deal to preserve possibly the best pitcher-catcher battery of all-time (Fister-Moore).
Chris Davis – He’ll finally get his 3rd chance to prove he’s a major league hitter after getting traded with Tommy Hunter to Baltimore for Koji Uehara. If he’s your best option at cornerman, my condolences. I can see Chris Davis and Mark Reynolds becoming great friends, swapping tips on how to walk back to the dugout after striking out.
Brandon Allen – Man, just when Arizona started playing him, they trade him to the A’s for Brad Ziegler. Allen is getting sent to AAA for now but I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets called up soon.
Paul Goldschmidt – With Allen out of town, the Diamondbacks plan to call him up to take over at 1B. He’s shown great power and I’d give him a flier as a corner power option. I predict he’ll surpass Jason Schmidt (7) and end up with the 2nd most career HRs for someone with Schmidt in their last name.
Mike Adams – Traded to the Rangers for two pitching prospects where he apologized to all owners who held onto him in mixed leagues hoping he’d inherit the Padres closer job when Heath Bell was traded. He’s still worth owning as a middle reliever – especially as a handcuff if you own Feliz.
Ryan Ludwick – Traded to the Pirates. His value moves from yaaawwwn to yawn. Once Tabata comes back, this is going to mean a big drop in playing time for Garrett Jones.
Derrek Lee – Also traded to the Pirates. He’s been hitting of late and is serviceable when on a hitting streak. In related news, if your beer league softball team needs a 1B, Lyle Overbay is available.
Orlando Cabrera – Traded to the Giants as Sabean is looking for the right mix of Tejada’s over-the-hillness and Brandon Crawford’s weak bat.
Lance Berkman – Returned after a few days off to hit a 3-run HR on Sunday. That’s 28 HRs in 308 ABs. See Colby, that’s what happens when you listen to the Cardinals coaches. Although, it should be said, that McGwire’s success with Berkman is largely because Lance pictures a Big Mac in place of McGwire’s face when getting batting tips. If only the Astros had hired Mayor McCheese as batting coach…
Justin Verlander – Took a no-hitter into the 8th inning for the 3rd time this year, outdueling AL Cy Young front-runner Jered Weaver in a 3-2 win. He’s now 15-5 with a 2.24 ERA, 0.87 WHIP, and 178 Ks in 181 IP. Almost every award prediction I made this preseason looks awful except Verlander for Cy Young. If only I drafted him on one of our teams.
Jered Weaver – Lost the duel against Verlander to ‘fall’ to 14-5 with a 1.88 ERA and 0.94 WHIP. Worse yet, he got ejected for throwing one high and tight on pitch after Carlos Guillen took a few minutes to admire his HR. While I can see why Weaver was mad, he needs to realize that might’ve been one of the only notable accomplishments for Guillen in like 4 years. Let the man have his moment.
Domonic Brown – Sent down to AAA as the Phillies decided John Mayberry at least lets them put out an MVP outfield (Mayberry, Victorino, Pence).
Joe Saunders – Oh the joys of pitching in the NL West. He’s followed up a complete game victory @SD with a 7.2 IP, 2 ER win against LA. He’s got another start coming up against the Dodgers which makes him a pretty solid streaming candidate.
Jeremy Hellickson – The H-E-double hockey st-ickson is bringing the Devil back into the Rays. He got his 10th win of the year albeit against the Mariners and with only 2 Ks in 7 IP. At 10-7, Hellickson and Pineda are battling for top non-Roofie this year.
Brett Wallace / Chris Johnson – The ineffective corners of Houston were sent down to AAA. This will finally give some playing time to top prospects…..oops, those are their top prospects. That’s the bad karma you get when you play in the park formerly known as Enron Field. Unlike Ed Wade, at least the Enron executives got to feel like the ‘Smartest Men in the Room’ for a little while.
Jason Bourgeois – Slam and legs with an extra side of legs for the upper class Astro. With Michael Bourn and Hunter Pence gone, Bourgeois should get plenty of time to hit at the top of the lineup and steal bases. Given the current state of the Astros lineup (Bourgeois hit 3rd on Sunday!), he better steal during his first 3 ABs because there may not be a 4th AB.
Emilio Bonifacio – His hitting streak was snapped at 26 games but he did hit a HR on Sunday. Mr. Dimaggio, you dodged a bullet. Mr. Bonds, hope you’re ready for some Boneface.
Johnny Cueto – Threw a 3-hit shutout against the new look Giants offense. Why can’t Volquez take a sip of whatever Cueto is drinking (1.72 ERA / 0.98 WHIP)?
Coco Crisp – 3 SBs to tie his career high from last year at 32 SBs. No wonder why Ice-T loves him so much.
Juan Nicasio – 7 IP, 1 ER and 10 Ks at San Diego – his first good road start this whole year. I’d say he’s a great bet for K’s but he has only K’d more than 6 in one other start…..@COL against the Padres (9 Ks). The R0ckies should rest him for a few weeks and then start him every game in their next series with San Diego. Also, not for nothing, if his parents had gringo’d his name to John, he could have had the best 80’s keyboardist name of all time (Johnny Casio).
Roger Bernadina – In the midst of an 0-for-17 slump (or 8-for-50 if you want to go back further), the Nats sent him down to AAA. For the love of SAGNOF, WTF?! Ankiel owners should benefit the most from this although, if anyone owns Ankiel in a shallow mixed league, they probably checked out 3 months ago. On Sunday, the Nats decided to start Brian Bixler in CF. This is the Brian Bixler whose awful bat (.177/.237/.227 in 203 ABs) wasn’t good enough for Pittsburgh’s SS position (when they sucked). This was the equivalent of Bixler taking a bat and hitting Bernadina in the balls – assuming Bixler would actually make contact.
Brandon McCarthy – Two straight wins for McCarthy after dispatching the Twins yesterday with a 9 K effort. He’s doing his part to rid the McCarthy name of its embarrassing affiliation with Communist witch-hunts, vaccination witch-hunts, and falling for redheads from the wrong side of the tracks. If you leave Brandon, don’t leave now!
Dustin Moseley – The NL Doug Fister (3-10 despite a 3.30 ERA) went on the 15 day DL with a bad shoulder on his non-pitching arm. That’s weak. Jim Abbott pitched just fine with a bad arm on his non-pitching shoulder.
