Sometimes, you wanna feel like the smartest guy/gal/thing in the room. Of course, that would have to make the title ‘Summa Iwakuma Laude’ but I didn’t like the flow of ‘Summa Iwakuma’. My titles are ridiculous enough anyways, I don’t need unintentional rhyme muddying the waters along with it. So we chose ‘with great honor’ rather than ‘with highest honor’. We just replaced ‘cum’ with Hisashi Iwakuma…you better read that word in latin, perv! Not Hisashi, of course, since his name is in his native language of Japanese. So did I just create a new language? Jatin? Lapanese? Eh, I’ll leave the Bennifers to Hollywood at this point. But really, Hisashi should make you feel like you graduated with honors from Sports Tech Fantasy University (GO STFU!) as his price of $9,100 on DraftKings puts him behind the big three 10K+ pitchers on the day but the Stream-o-nator says his start is the tops of his class on the day. I do think because of the bigger names on the slate, Iwakuma will have a slightly lower ownership than normal despite the fact his start is at home and against a whiff-happy team. Much like my pick up skills will be on the Razzball Radio Tour, the Twins strike out rates are at the bottom of the league already but when they step out on the road, they’re even worse as they own the second worst K% while out Jack Kerouac’ing. So let’s swing our tassel from one side to the other and walk down that aisle…ahem, I meant graduation tassels and the hat. Seriously! Well, whatever, you’ve graduated to the rest of the picks. Now get out of this lead and take your dirty mind with you! Here’s the rest of the Razzball picks for July 7th contests…
Jesse Chavez, SP: $7,900 – San Fran has been on a tear but in the bad kinda way. We might need to change them to the SF LMFAO’s cuz every day they’re scufflin. Over the last 14 days heading into Sunday’s matchup, San Fran owns the lowest wOBA of any team in the MLB. Granted, they don’t strike out much but I could see Jesse going deep into the game and garnering the win, making 20+ points almost a lock.
Tyler Matzek, SP: $5,800 – So there’s this theory floating around the DFS industry. The theory is the first game of a series for the team coming into Colorado is always an offensive dud. Now obviously, there are no statistical facts in this statement but I will point back to last Thursday where both the Dodgers and the Rockies first game in Coors ended 3-2. The o/u was 10. You get the picture. Now lets look at this picture through the eyes of the Padres being in town and this thing looks like the freakin Mona Lisa. Who cares if she’s smiling or not, you will be with starting Tyler.
J.A. Happ, SP: $6,400 – Am I suggesting to start him? Ish u cray! Nah, I’m pointing out how bad the matchup is and the fact that the team he’s facing is on an offensive roll right now. This is a total MILF: Matchup I’d Like To Fleece. David Freese, Chris Iannetta, and Collin Cowgill are the cheap plays here with Mike Trout and Albert Pujols being the ‘I’m going all out stack’ big buck plays.
Mike Leake, SP: $8,300 – Believe or don’t believe in him for season leagues, I don’t care. What I do care about is los Cubbies being no bueno with the bat. Leake should go 7 and strike out at least 5 or 6 and keep the run damage minimal.
Marco Estrada, SP: $7,400 – The guy whose K:BB ratio used to be elite along with having a high HR/9 rate now walks everybody and has found a way to increase that HR/9 rate along the way. I wouldn’t suggest a Phillies stack because they are still the Phillies BUT if I need cheap parts to fill out a roster, I’d look towards guys like Ryan Howard, Domonic Brown, Marlon Byrd, and maybe even Cody Asche as Estrada has given up 26 HRs on the year. I’m not one for hyperbole but there’s a good chance he gives up a one or two hundred dongs in this game…give or take 50.
James Jones, OF: $3,400 – Cheap speed is what I need says both your local junkie and the guy who’s currently writing this business. Only my cheap speed doesn’t require rehab, at least that I know of. Kevin Correia has all sorts of ugly on the year in terms of underlying and surface-level numbers with a slight nod to lefties. The Mariners are stacked with said lefties and are at home. I wouldn’t expect a huge amount of HR production but if you need to fill roster spots with guys like Jones, Logan Morrison or maybe even Endy Chavez, I can’t fault you.
Adam Lind, 1B: $3,800 – If we’re gonna go cheap at 1B, might as well pick a guy batting .328 on the year. Given that Jered Weaver is near the bottom for HR/9 given up and Lind has 2 HR in 26 career AB against him, the odds are in your favor for a dirt-cheap bomb.
George Springer, OF: $4,400 – The Astros hitting has been much like kids underwear. It’s streaky, y’all. Well, I do think today is a day you can get in on some playas here and I don’t mean sandy beaches. Even the Hitter-tron is feeling the Astro-glide putting Springer at the top of the hitting heap on this day as well as Jon Singleton at 8th. Given that Miles Mikolas looks to give it up to the lefty crowd from his minor league numbers, even throwing the child of the forgotten King Alex Presley out there seems like a wise decision if you’re in need of cheap OF help. And to further this whole Houston discussion, if you’re looking for a contradictory play for your tourneys and want to fade Coors, this could be your answer.
Khris Davis, OF: $3,800 – Zig when others zag is what I say. Hamels and his $10,200 was already too rich for my blood but when you consider the amount of lefty bashers in that Milwaukee lineup and they’re at home, it’s hard not to like the idea of a Brew Crew stack for tournaments considering Vegas only has a 7.5 o/u. But if you only want a taste of such contradiction, Davis should be your guy.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
Well whaddayaknow, the game that features a guy named Leake has some weather issues. CINvsCHC has a 60% chance of thunderstorms and it looks like this weather could go most of the day. Keep in mind they’re both from the Central so a cancellation/rescheduling is more likely if the weather looks really bad. On a whole nutha weather front, the wind is blowing out to right field in Oakland so there could be a lefty mash party and Brandon Moss is invited!
Doing Lines In Vegas
To no one’s surprise, COLvsSD tops the o/u taco today at 10.5 runs; clearly with my Matzek call, I don’t agree on the o and am leaning towards the u. Also, give me the over on the 8.5 in the CLEvsNYY game. Too many lefties on the Yankees to imagine Masterson lasting long. Give me the over on the 7.5 MILvsPHI game as well…only 7.5 runs AND you have Marco Estrada winning the game? Da funk you thinking there, Vegas…
