It’s a day full of aces on the MLB slate today, but our lede is going to pivot from the easy, chalky picks to the one that’s going to take some larger jeans jewels. If you are risk-averse and enjoy the easy button, skip this and go right to the pitcher blurb below. If you’re feeling freaky this Friday, this may just scratch your itch.

Streamonator loves the big guns today (Burnes, Cole, Kershaw and Gausman), but c’mon, Streamonator…Rudy didn’t spend years locked up with Gus Fring in SuperLab creating you just so you could spit out “Corbin Burnes is good.” He created you so that you can take a team as toothless as Detroit, with a pitcher as meh as Eduardo Rodriguez (DK: $7,100), and say “Play this pitcher today.” If you’re looking to save money on the mound and buff your bats (but not too much, or you could go blind!), this is your play. Ed-Rod faces the Orioles in Comerica National Park. When Baltimore faces a lefty, it’s more like the 0rioles, as they are last in MLB in OPS vs LHPs. The highest-ranked 0riole hitter on Hittertron is Austin Hays, all the way down at (scrolling and scrolling and scrolling) 90. Last time out, Rodriguez held the powerful Astros to just one hit over 6.2 stellar innings, whiffing 8. I’m not saying the Motor City Kitties are going to have a parade crossing home plate for him, as their hitters have struggled as badly as any in baseball to date. Perhaps Jordan Lyles is just what Javy Baez, Tork, Schoop, and Jeimer need, and I’m sure Ed-Rod is just what your teams need to allow you to spend on all those Colorado and Kansas City bats in Coors today.

Hittertron can’t shake a spark plug without hitting a KC/COL batter today, so I’m going to try to mix a few Coors hitters with some good plays away from there, though if Hittertron had his way, he’d just immediately stack both teams and go look up inappropriate pics of Streamonator the rest of the day.

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Gerrit Cole, SP: DK $9,600 – Even Cole gets a bit of a discount, ranking as the 4th most expensive pitcher on DraftKings today, but with a better matchup than Scherzer, Kershaw and Gausman in front of him. Cole is in Chicago vs the White Sox, who are 26th in MLB in OPS vs RHPs. Streamonator likes Cole 2nd today, behind only Corbin Burnes (@ Miami) who isn’t even on the main DK slate, so that would bump Cole to the top of the heap. Save a little money on the top SPs today and roll with Cole.

Salvador Perez, C/1B: DK $5,300 – Sal Perez is the top-ranked C on the DK board today and is also the 2nd-ranked batter according to Hittertron. Kyle Freeland has had a nice year so far, but in Coors, I may play Sal Vulcano against the Rockies. And that’s no Joke(rs).

Pete Alonso, C/1B: DK $5,200 – If you pass on Cron at 1B today, your next best bet is Pete Alonso. He may be the Polar Bear, but he’s on an absolute heater, slashing .346/.433/.769 over the last week with three bombs. He looks out at the mound and is as worried about Marco Gonzalez as the vegetable aisle in the supermarket is about me.

Whit Merrifield, 2B: DK $4,400 – Hittertron’s top-ranked 2B today hadn’t hit a HR this year until Wednesday, hadn’t stolen a base in at least 10 games until Wednesday, and hadn’t barreled a ball in almost 10 days until Wednesday, while playing every day. You may be saying, “Hoove, are you a complete idiot?” Being an English teacher, I’d correct you that you meant to say “Hoove, you are a complete idiot.” Then maybe you’d ask, “Hoove, did you just pick Whit Merrifield so you could go back-to-back with Bobby Witt Jr?” And I’d probably tell you I’m not Witt-y enough to do that. Then you’d probably close your browser.

Bobby Witt, Jr, 3B: DK $4,400 – This is Hittertron’s top-ranked hitter today. Witt got off to a slow start, but over his last 15 games, he’s got 16 hits and stolen four bags. Though he’s only got one HR so far, there’s no doubt he’s got enough thump, as his max exit velocity this year is in the 95th percentile in all of MLB. 

Corey Seager, SS: DK $4,800 – Seager is finally settling into his new digs, crushing three homers over his last three games. Seager will be facing (at least for an AB or two) Nick Pivetta, owns an 0-4 record, a 6+ ERA, and is giving up Hard Contact (a ball hit at least 95 mph) on all four of his pitch types at least 28% of the time. Corey’s going to make more Night Moves than his uncle Bob Seger, and show out against Pivetta and the BoSox.

Seiya Suzuki, OF: DK $4,300 – Another Hittertron play, Suzuki is the 7th-ranked hitter according to that beautiful machine. That’s probably because Zach Davis is on the bump for the Diamondbacks. Davies is in the 94th percentile for Average Exit Velocity and the 93rd percentile for Hard Contact (this is where you DON’T want to be a high percentile), and the rest of his Statcast page is bluer than Eiffel 65. 

Aaron Judge, OF: DK $5,900 – Judge was the first non-Coors batter on Hittertron today, and with seven HRs and 17 RBI in his last 15 games, it’s easy to see why. Vincent Velasquez would be well-served to make a V with his first two fingers and peace out before Judge rules Velasquez guilty on all counts of being a gas can.


I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Swish Analytics doesn’t foresee any sort of rain or wind that could impact the playing of today’s games, so you shouldn’t have to wonder if the plays/matchups you really want to make will be affected by weather–the MLB world is your oyster today.


Doing Lines In Vegas

If I’m telling you to roll with Eduardo Rodriguez today, I should also recommend taking the Tigers +150 to win the -1.5 run line.