Derrek Lee went 2-for-4 with 3 RBIs and two homers as he continues to get medieval on pitching, which isn’t an old crack, though it could be. I appreciate the Pirates trying to make moves at the trading deadline, but their moves were kinda of the “We’re gonna make moves so it seems like we’re doing something, but we’re just gonna grab guys like Ludwick” variety. No one really thinks Ludwick and Lee were the vital pieces, right? As for the Indians, I thought they’d go the Ludwick-type trade route too, but they actually made much stronger moves. No, this doesn’t have much to do with fantasy, but we do still actually watch baseball, right? It’s not just a game played between the fantasy lines on your computer screen, is it? Now to begin the slideshow — sorry, thought I was writing that crizzap for Bleacher Report. What a POS content farm. Seriously, if I ever see Bleacher Report hanging out with eHow one night after a few daiquiris, it could get ugly. Wow, that was a huge aside. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Rubby de la Rosa – To the DL with a sprained ulnar collateral ligament. Oh no, collateral damage! Yeah, that’s not good. Overall, it’s been a bad year to be a de la Rosa. Wilkin, you better watch your back. Or Dane de la Rosa. Or Ruben de la Rosa. Or Rafael, Carlos, Alexis, Maikel and Yunior de la Rosa, to name only the first nine I found at baseball-reference. Quite the de la Rosa renaissance. I’m beginning to think that scouts in Latin America are getting paid off by matriarch, Esmeralda de la Rosa. “Have you seen my boy, Tomas de la Rosa? No? Okay, first you have dessert then we go see him.”
Asdrubal Cabrera – 3-for-5 with 2 homers. A’la Cher from Clueless, “AS-drubal!” Speaking of surnames, it’s quite a battle for the most productive Cabrera between Miggy, Asdrubal and Melky. If you took the 5 million to 1 Vegas odds for Melky being the best Cabrera this year, you’re a lot closer than anyone could’ve thought in March.
Barry Zito – Back to the DL. I.e., baked Zito.
Freddy Sanchez – Undergoing season-ending season to repair his labrum. You can only lose your virginity once, Freddy. Sorry…
Jonathan Sanchez – Filthy Sanchez is set to start on Friday vs. the Phils. If he can work around Phil Jackson, Donahue and Spector, he should be safe to start. I’d grab Filthy if someone dropped him while he was rehabbing for what felt like four months. He’s always good for those delicious Ks (and tying his owners to the WHIPping post).
Matt Cain – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks. I liked him better when he was outperforming his FIP. That’s what she said! No, she probably didn’t because only three nerdheads in The Missouri Bootheel even know what FIP is and they don’t talk to girls.
Cory Luebke – 7 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. He should’ve chewed up the Dodgers and spit out a 7 IP, 3 ER start. This is coming after a most unimpressive 6 IP, 4 ER. But — and unless you’re an alien there’s also a but — his WHIP is below one still. You have to remain patient for at least one more start.
Jesus Guzman – 6 for his last 11. Kyle Blanks — hype! Anthony Rizzo — hype! Yet, Jesus is the only one doing work (though not carpentry).
Paul Goldschmidt – 1-for-4 with a single. Now you must be happy you stashed him in June.
Trevor Cahill – 4 IP, 7 ER. When pitchers I don’t like perform badly, it actually doesn’t make me the least bit happy. Of course, I’m joking. Schadenfreude!
Coco Crisp – 2-for-4 with, like, his 12th steal in the past three days. I’m only sorta joking. He has 6 steals in 3 days. Now I’m being cerealious.
Shin-Soo Choo – Will take BP this week. Where is he taking them? To the Gulf to see what they did… Oh, batting practice! Gotcha.
Bud Norris – Left yesterday’s start with a blister on his finger. It’s something to watch. Not literally, unless you’re in the same room as him. And, even if you are, it’s impolite to stare.
Mark Melancon – 2 IP lowering his ERA to 2.98 and the win because the Astros don’t need that albatross Hunter Pence!
Matt Holliday – 2-for-3 with a homer. I’ve been so busy underreporting Lance Berkman and Justin Verlander that I think I actually have underreported Matt Holliday. He hit his 15th homer yesterday to go along with his zero steals. Who are you, Andre Ethier? That’s a whole lot of name value right now and not so much fantasy.
Jhoulys Chacin – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks. Sonavabench! Sure, can’t throw a good start for weeks then you get murderer’s row plus Pence and hold them to one run. Of course you do.
Clay Buchholz – Shut it down, ‘holz. He’s about to. Sounds like Buchhurtz is done for the year.
Jason Kipnis – 3-for-5 with his 2nd homer in as many games. You, “Grey, Schumaker or Kipnis?” What I read, “Hmm… Should you pick up the old guy who’s hitting or the young guy with all the upside that’s hitting?” I tell you Kipnis. You, “Thanks!” What I read, “Nice ‘stache.”
Lucas Duda – 1-for-4 with a homer. Duda’s done doodie since I put him in Friday’s Buy, but this could be the start of something.
Omar Infante – 3-for-5, Bonifacio must’ve passed the conch shell to his teammate because Infante has now hit in nine of ten games and is hitting near .375 in that span.
Mike Stanton – 2-for-5 with the grand slam off Izzy. Anyone who hasn’t seen Stanton hit a ball, they should watch it some time. He looks like the superhero, Blok.
Javier Vazquez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks. I’m pretty sure Vazquez and Liriano are conspiring against me like they’re Sean Penn in The Game.
Josh Johnson – Will resume throwing on Tuesday because he was shutdown last week and that’s what pitchers who like getting repeatedly hurt do. They throw after they’re shutdown. This should end well.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs. Hit a broken bat homer yesterday, which would be impressive for most, but his bat is an extra 18 letters long.
