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Howdy-do, Razzballers.

The snow wasn’t exactly as apocalyptic as initially feared, but we did get quite a bit for what we’re used to down here in the Dirty Souf. Needless to say, as we’re half-drowning in snow, Spring Training is starting up in other parts of the country. Games kick off Feb. 28. Pretty much all free agents worth a damn are signed by now, so this will be my last “The Saturday Morning Post” (in name only), as I’ll be transitioning to covering the weekly “Ambulance Chasers” column, which will drop at the same time next week. All injuries I deem to have fantasy impact will be covered, with as-in-depth-as-possible hot takes on who shall benefit from said injuries. Spring Training is fun and all, but someone always does something stupid and screws over fantasy owners before games even begin for real.

Anyhoodles, for the last time this offseason, here are the sexiest nomads of the last week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

Feels weird to say Spring Training is right around the corner when my neck of the woods has upwards of 20-something inches of snow on the way tomorrow night-ish. But, Spring Training is right around the corner! And it’s a good thing, too, cuz these weekly offseason updates are getting less exciting from here on out since all the sexy names have finally gone somewhere. There are some good players yet to be signed, but no one I’m on the edge of my seat over. Does anyone really expect Justin Turner not to be a Dodger at this point?

This past week was a bunch of meh faces in new places for the most part, except my boy Benny Baseball is closer to home now after a three-team trade I’ll be jumping into straight away:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

It’s unlikely you haven’t already heard, but ICYMI: esteemed national baseball writer Boob Nightenfail tweeted Thursday evening that the Mets had a done deal with Trevor Bauer. Then not even like five minutes later, all the cool kids tweeted how this, in fact, was untrue. Fast forward less than 24 hours later and Bauer signed a deal with Dodgers, along with some dumb hype video I haven’t yet and never will bother to watch. I’m just glad all of this is over, because I am so over Trevor Bauer. I hope he goes back to being the mediocre pitcher he’s always been. He’s jack diddly without pine tar, and that’s a fact!

Oh, Boob. Thanks for the laugh! As for the rest, here’s the best:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy-do, folks. I surely do ‘preciate you stopping by for the latest in the world of offseason baseball.

The Blue Jays made three exciting signings, only to have it turn into two exciting signings (unless a Tyler Chatwood signing excites you, then you can still call it three) because the Astros swooped in. For a few hours there, the Jays lineup looked pretty damn formidable. I still really dig it, for what it’s worth.

Other things happened, too. Here’s what stood out to me:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Howdy, folks.

No real blockbuster-type stuff this week after last week’s doozy of a trade, I’m afraid, but we have had a few big signings and plenty of trade/free agent rumors fluttering about in the breeze.

Really, it’s just a slow offseason so far, all things considered. Going by ESPN’s list, six of their top 10 FAs are still on the market. Only 12 of the top 50 have been signed. Spring Training is supposed to ramp back up in less than two months from now, but a vast majority of players are still standing on the sidelines with one thumb in the air, hoping someone stops by and opens their passenger door.

Anyhoodles, let’s get caught up on the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, especially you Mets fans. Y’all pumped or what? Cleveland _______ fans, I’m sorry. Tank time. How’s Cleveland Tanks sound for a new moniker to put in that blank? Tanks are…cool, right? World of Tanks is a kinda popular game, no?

Alrighty, folks, here’s the best of this past week in offseason baseball (with a different format cuz I like to shake it up):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy belated Thanksgiving, Razzballers!

‘Tis the season for Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals, but there’s another deal-day you may or may not be aware of…Saturday Stove deals! It’s when we recount some offseason MLB free agent news on Saturday. See, free agent news is the hot stove and it’s Saturday. Clearly makes a lot of sense. Sorry if you’re here to buy a stove.

The free agent period is always exciting in any sport, but it’ll be especially interesting to see how an itty-bitty 60-game season will amplify contracts for little ol’ guys like Trevor Bauer and Marcell Ozuna, two dudes who went just absolutely bonkers. On the flip side, what about little ol’ Marcus Semien, who plummeted to an almost career-worst OPS after his sexy 2019 season?

So what I’m gonna do is go a little deeper on the important guys that have signed somewhere already. There aren’t a ton, but there are certainly guys worth talking about. Then for guys that are still freely drifting along, I’ll just give a gut-check take on what 2021 could look like for ’em. Odds are pretty decent I’ll gloss over a guy you really care about…I’m not gonna talk about every ding dang free agent out there. Sorry not sorry.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello again, my friends. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

I had another fun-but-also-terribly-painful experiment for you guys. For some of you this will be euphoric. But as a Cardinals fan myself, well, this just sucks.

My experiment is rather simple, and it’s similar to my last piece on Waiver Wire All-Stars. I’m certainly not alone in this, but I’ve noticed a whole lotta ex-STL players having really, really, really good things happen after leaving town. I got to thinking, and I wondered if it were possible to field a full fantasy squad of 100% ex-STL players and still have a good team. The answer is YUP. Oh, joy.

I had to take some liberties, and I had to do a lot of digging through past draft classes and minor league affiliate rosters, but I’ve built a Yahoo standard lineup of players who at one point in time were in the Cardinals system (with some liberties sprinkled in). It’s not a perfect team, but it’s a damn fine one if you ask me. It just hurts all the more knowing this didn’t have to be fantasy for the Cardinals. IT COULD HAVE BEEN REALITY! MAYBE! *crying baby GIF*

Another thing about this experiment is we gotta assume these players reach or maintain their fantasy ceilings. Some guys weren’t so great in 2020 but have been good recently, or vice versa. Some of them I don’t exactly miss, if I’m being honest, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t help this fantasy fantasy squad win.

Cardinals fans, get your tissues ready. Have Freese’s heroics from Game 6 of the 2011 World Series playing on a loop in the background as you read. Go to your happy place and try to stay there as you see name after name break your heart over and over again. This is supposed to be therapeutic, right?

Please, blog, may I have some more?