by: Grey
You know that slo-mo video of Homer Simpson taking a cannonball off his belly? This looked more painful. When Carlos Santana, the future of the Indians franchise, went down in this collision, his knee said, “I wish I were Joe Theismann’s knee.” To stay in the world of The Simpsons, you can see the exact […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny. It’s the bullpens, ya’ll. Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
What I never understood about the trading deadline is why wait until the last second to make a trade? Did the Padres really wake up on July 31st and think they suddenly needed a bat? Wasn’t this apparent on April 2nd? I understand you don’t trade for pieces if you’re out of it, but the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. Peck, Brandon League, peck. The save vultures are indigenous to rural and metropolitan areas, especially if a trade is in progress. Goodbye, Rauch. Hello, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Roy Oswalt agreed to be traded to the Phillies after his son, Roy Oswalt Jr., broke it down to him, “Dad, the Astros suck, Ed Wade’s toupee’s been at half mast for years now and Ryan Howard Jr. promised to protect me from bullies.” Well, the first thing you know ol’ Roy’s a millionaire… Kinfolk […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Scott Podsednik traded to the Dodgers. Call ’em The Podsgers! Should be convenient for his wife — much closer to the Playboy mansion. Or so I read in an article in Playboy about Playboy while not looking at the pictures. So Pods comes to L.A. because Manny’s never coming back? They really needed a pinch […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Logan Morrison played at the same community college as Albert Pujols. That’s two more MLB players than Middlesex County College or MC-squared as we called it. Let’s look at what Stephen wrote about Morrison, “Blessed with a balanced, flat swing with plus-power, and the organization’s best plate-discipline… The only thing more exciting than Morrison is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Last week I went over picking up free agent hitters. So now I do onto pitchers as I did onto hitters. I opined that there were five things to look for with hitters, after looking up what opined meant. Most of the criteria had to do with the hitter and not so much who he […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Fantasy baseball trading deadlines are right around the corner, time is slipping…slipping…slipping into the future and your fantasy baseball teams need to lose yesterday’s lunch or get off the pot. The worst feeling is coming within a few points of winning and pulling up short because you held too tightly to your players. In October, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Dan Haren was traded to the Angels for a terrible pitcher and some prospects. On a real baseball note, the Diamondhacks got had like they were taking cards from Ricky Jay. I think the desert sun’s baked their brains. To make a deal in the major leagues, you see what the Yankees will give you […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This year in the minors Domonic Brown had a line of 62/19/64/.323/14 and .385/.580/.965. Let’s recap, whoa/wow/nice/yum-yum/don’t mind if I do and yowsers/that’s lovely/yowsersthat’slovely. To break that down for the people who skimmed the first two sentences, he has 20/20 potential with plate discipline. It’s the fantasy baseball equivalent to: “I don’t think this glazed […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Alberto Callaspo was traded to the Angels. Exactly what the Angels needed, a light hitting infielder. Oh, wait, no they don’t. Why’d they get Callaspo? To get Mel Gibson to be interested in the team? Oh, wait, that was Apocalypto. Anyone see that movie? I like the part where Mel’s like, “I will slap the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?