by: Grey
There’s plenty more “exciting” names to talk about in this opening than Josh H. Smith. There’s plenty more exciting names to talk about without the scare quotes. Sometimes, we have to be mature adults when we’re playing fantasy baseball and eat our vegetables (vegetables we don’t enjoy, such as Brussels sprouts, and not good vegetables […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, the Vatican elected a Pope from Chicago. Call him Da Pope. The first American Pope, and the first Pope to have opinions on whether or not Harold Baines is a Hall of Famer. What’s this I’m hearing–[finger to ear bud]–Jerry Reinsdorf is being excommunicated. Oh my. Cubs tried to lay claim to the new […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Dylan Cease went 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.91. Finally, a great start! [sees he left with forearm cramping, face falls, stares down into own reflection in the saddest puddle anyone’s ever puddled] Fantasy Baseball Overlord, I have one question for you? Why can’t we have […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Not picking on the O’s, but if they’re gonna keep rolling over, I’m gonna keep riding the Zamboni. Orioles have scored 130 runs on the year; the White Sux scored 127. Don’t give the White Sux a run for their money with being lousy. That should go without saying. Yesterday, Pablo Lopez got his chance […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I watched every single second of AJ Smith-Shawver‘s start and I ran through the wall so many times the Kool-Aid filed a copyright suit against me. Trademark this, beeyatch! Only, I didn’t say beeyatch. I said nothing on advice of my counsel. You can’t take these things lightly. Could AJ Smith-Shawver (8 IP, 0 ER, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ramon Urias injured his hammy, and what goes with a moan over hammy? Mayo! Put some egg yolks in a jar and a squeeze of lemon with some neutral-tasting oil and shake! What’s you got? Mayo! What’s the state condiment of Indiana? Mayo! Mayo! Mayo! Coby Mayo is here and he’s–[ten days later, Ramon Urias […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Roman Anthony is objectively a cool name. Perfection, no notes. Not like Nick Kurtz. No offense to his hitting, but, if I were to critique that, I’d say it’s too close to Dick Hurtz. It should’ve been Dick Kurtz to clearly nod at the groin allusion or they should’ve went with, like, Jerry Kurtz. Jerrish […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Rarely am I surprised by a demotion. Jake Burger being demoted shocked me. We should have a contest next preseason to guess the guy who will be demoted that will floor people. Has to be a guy in the top 125 or so in drafts, and I have to pin down what “floored” means. So, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Noah Cameron sounds like a Prime Minister but he’s on the Royals, and that feels like a no-can-do. Can a member of the Royal family also be a PM? I don’t know, but better yet: I don’t care. Only way Noah Cameron could’ve looked better last night is if he went against the Tories. Noah […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
A hand shoots through the ground, it’s a skeleton claw! Next, oh my God, it’s skeleton head! “I want pitcher brain custard,” it sneered. Is this, oh my God, has Trent Grisham (1-for-6 and his 8th homer and 4th homer in six games) turned into a Zombino? Cut! No, this is ridiculous. I’m sorry, he’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?“What a bunch of ribbies!” I exclaim as the chef at Tony Roma’s doffs his chef’s hat. I then tell the chef that it should be RsBI because it’s runs batted in and I’m escorted out of the restaurant. Joke’s on you, my pockets are filled with corn niblets! Lucky I didn’t tell him RBI […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Eugenio Suarez went quad shopping on Saturday night, hitting his 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th homer (with 5 RBIs, and 1-for-3, 1 run on Sunday). Eugenio said I see your Mark Whiten and I’m hitting! Eugenio said you can call me Geno because you don’t SEE NO ball when I’m done with it! The last […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?