Turning on the TV, oh, lucky, it’s my favorite movie, Beaches. Wow, Barbara Hershey being selfless and allowing Bette Midler to shine. It’s so beautiful…Oh my God, what are these wet things on my cheeks? I’m crying tears of laughter and sadness that only the movie Beaches can elicit. Now, I am cutting pictures of Ohtani and Reid Detmers (7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.77) out of a magazine and pasting their heads on the TV. Now Reid Detmers is Hershey, and Ohtani, of course, is Bette. Detmers is cold in Ohtani’s shadow. Anyone would be, Ohtani is one of the best of all-time, like Bette, so you can’t compete with that, but Detmers can cheer on his friend, and have an 11.1 K/9, 3.4 BB/9, and 3.64 xFIP. He also has a 13.3% Swinging Strike rate. You know who else has a 13.3% Swinging Strike rate (at least they both did going into yesterday)? For one night, Bette wasn’t better. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Westburg Is The O’s New Kid On The Block
June 26, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 413 Commentsby: Grey
Told you in Friday’s Buy column the Orioles were calling up their top prospect. I just forgot to include top infield prospect. Well, excuse me! I blame Itch. If he wasn’t so busy making casual death threats, he’d be on this! So, Itch had Jordan Westburg in his last prospects to stash report, and, on June 11th, he said, “Has 33 home runs and 14 stolen bases in 143 Triple-A games, which feels like a lot of Triple-A games for a first-round pick who’s slashing .305/.383/.601 on his return to the level, and I’d like to level Grey.” C’mon, man! I imagine Cowser will be up soon too, because, honestly, what are they doing in the minors? It makes no season. As Itch said, Westburg being in Triple-A that long is absurd, and so is Cowser. I tried to grab Westburg in every league, and failed. Let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Colton Cowser sounds like one of those goofily-named foods that the Brits send over here.
“Would you like a Peek Frean?”
“No, they are too serious for me.”
“Would you like a Curly Wurly?”
“No, my good, sir. I cannot have a Curly Wurly, they are too disruptive on my tum-tum.”
“I see, I see, how about a Colton Cowser?”
“Are those the lavender-scented candies?”
“No, they’re striking out too much since their return from the MiLB IL, and Aaron Hicks is hitting too much. There’s no room for Colton Cowser in the Orioles’ lineup.”
“Really?”
“I kid! Of course, I want a Colton Cowser! I love those lavender-scented hard candies, and Cowser has big power, speed and should hit for a good average. Those strikeouts are only temporary, my good man! Speaking of temporary, that’s what Hicks is too. Yes, I do believe I will take a Colton Cowser in every league with the hope he is up soon and can go 15/15/.260 in only a half a season. Giddy up, my good sir, giddy up!” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Joe Ryan Comes Three Hits Away from No-lin’ The Sawx
June 23, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 215 Commentsby: Grey
Huh, weird. 4,030,000 results but Google knows which one to feature. And some of y’all say AI is bad. AI, tell me why people are against AI. “They’re not, Grey. Everyone loves AI.” Oh, okay, cool! Joe Ryan (9 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.98) wasn’t necessarily an unpopular call by me. He still had an ADP of 144 at the time I published my post, and drafted as late as 216th overall. Did I move the market on him? I like to think so, but even if he moved up to 80 overall, Sandy Alcantara was going at 25th overall, so was there value still to be had on Joe Ryan? Yeah, I like to think there was. Is this entire lede just me patting myself on the back? You’ll get over your scoffing and allow me one occasionally! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?If David Hamilton could swim like he could run, he would’ve been sent down to the Titanic wreck to save those in the submarine. Talk about the worst Gilligan’s Island spinoff ever. Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from roughly 60 depths under the sea… “Skipper, we have two hours left of oxygen.” Skipper smacks Gilligan with his hat, waving away oxygen. Gilligan gulps, “Make that one hour and thirty minutes.” The story on the submarine billionaire is like a reverse Icarus, and I want to read everything about it. Any hoo! David Hamilton isn’t a swimmer (maybe he is, I have no idea), but he is a runner. Boy, is that guy fast. He’s so fast rather than calling Spectrum’s customer service, he ran to a call center in Hyderbad to ask his question in-person. Wow, that’s fast! Don’t know Hamilton’s playing time sitch; he might not be called up for long, but he’s incredibly interesting because he was a 23/97 guy combined over the last 171 minor league games. Yeah, pretty good! I grabbed him in my most shallow leagues just in case he sticks, though he might not stand in one place long enough to stick. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Guardians Provide Consent So We’re Gavin a Party
June 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 298 Commentsby: Grey
[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1326698″ player=”13959″ title=”2023 Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD For Fantasy Baseball Week 12″ duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2023-06-14″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1326698_th_648a13529225b_1686770514.jpg” image=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1326698_sd_648a13529225b_1686770514.jpg” contenturl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1326698.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″] The Guards are calling up Gavin Williams. *insert Michael and the rest of The Office excited* We love ourselves some big-time pitching prospects, don’t we? *thinking about Gavin Stone and Grayson Rodriguez and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Fivehitstrami On Arraez
June 20, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 349 Commentsby: Grey
[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1326698″ player=”13959″ title=”2023 Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD For Fantasy Baseball Week 12″ duration=”200″ description=”undefined” uploaddate=”2023-06-14″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1326698_th_648a13529225b_1686770514.jpg” image=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1326698_sd_648a13529225b_1686770514.jpg” contenturl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1326698.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″] Luis Arraez has three 5-hit nights this month, including last night. He’s batting .400 on the dot. Speaking of dots, there’s a laser dot on Ted Williams’s forehead, slowly heating him up so […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Happy Father’s Day to all of you who celebrated yesterday by saying, “Did you hear that? The dog just farted,” when you farted. We see you, we love you, we smell you. Change your shorts. You sharted. One guy who will not shart nor blame the Labrador is Henry Davis, who was called up. Just yesterday, Itch told you to stash Henry Davis, saying, “Davis is slashing .321/.472/.571 in eight games at Triple-A. Like the Reds are doing with C.E-S, the Pirates have been playing Davis in the outfield, where his athleticism fits well. I don’t understand why he couldn’t play outfield a couple days a week, DH a couple and catch a couple, even if he’s got some things to learn behind the plate. Reminds me I’d like to throw a plate at Grey’s head.” What on earth? To give you an idea of my excitement, I had Jordan Hicks, due to saves, at the front of my FAAB queue, then had Emmet Sheehan, due to his *makes drool facing*, then I heard Henry Davis was being called up, and moved him into the 1st slot for NL-Only. Bo Naylor being called up is interesting too in mixed leagues, will cover him in the post. Check out this new dance I’m doing, it’s called The Alejan-Drop, I make a face like I just smelled the dog’s fart, but really was looking at Alejandro Kirk’s stats, then move my hand around like I’m dropping Kirk to waivers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Was Jonesing For A Nolan Buyin’ Title
June 16, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 329 Commentsby: Grey
“Okay, I’m going to fall slowly back now, are you ready to catch me?”
“Go for it…”
“Okay, are you sure you’re ready? You sound like you’re 40 to 50 feet behind me and not right under me.”
“I’m…right…behind…you.”
“Okay, you sound like you’ve moved even further away. I know part of the exercise is just fall backwards and you’re going to catch me, but I can barely hear you.”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“Damn it, I can hear you moving further away from me! This trust fall is not going to work, is it?” I turn around to find Bud Black is a football field away from me. “You weren’t going to catch me!”
Bud Black screams, “I had you!”
That’s Bud Black and every fantasy baseballer (<–my mom’s term!). You cannot trust Bud Black. He’s untrustworthy! I wouldn’t trust him to suddenly play Nolan Jones forever. I’m going one game at a time here with Jones. At some point, Curtis Jackson Cron will return and it’ll be two tears in a bucket and Jones will be told to eff off. For now, Jones is a guy who has nearly 20/10/.330 between Triple-A and the majors in less than 60 games. Will it continue? Well, the power is real, the steals are real, but he is likely closer to a .260 hitter. Still very valuable. Just don’t get on a chair and fall backwards into his expected production. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Shohei Serving Up Oppohtanicos
June 16, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 246 Commentsby: Grey
Shohei Ohtani (1-for-2, 2 RBIs, hitting .301) hit his 22nd homer to tie for the MLB lead, and he tossed 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.29, vs. the Rangers in Texas, one MLB’s best teams, and the Win. Are there enough superlatives for Ohtani? Let’s try, he’s the best baseball player ever. Good place to start. It’s unfair to compare different eras, because things were different 100 years ago when Babe played. Things were different 20 years ago when Bonds was in his heyday. Speaking of which, besides those two, there was Say Hey, there was Hammerin’, there was–Rickey knows you’re not forgetting Rickey–There was Rickey! None needed their full name mentioned. You knew who I meant. None pitched as well as Ohtani is pitching. Babe’s the only one to even give that a go, and we know when he was an elite hitter, he wasn’t also a pitcher. Ohtani sent a ball 443 feet the opposite way last night with ease, has hit six homers in seven games, and has 105 Ks in 82 IP, which is third in strikeouts. Absurd. There are no superlatives. He is the superlative. Superlative Ohtani. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Acuña Goes On and On Tilde Break Of Records
June 15, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 237 Commentsby: Grey
In the biz, we call this an “In Appreciation Of” post. This is in appreciation of Tildaddy. The one and only: Ronald Acuña Jr. (4-for-8, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and a double slam (14, 15) and legs (29), hitting .333). Tildaddy says you are done with your chores! Scientists should get together Ronald Acuña Sr., Fernando Tatis Sr., Bobby Witt Sr., Michael Harris I and other former players, who have elite MLB sons, and let them study them. Like the movie, Concussion, but call it Cushion Pushin’. Tildaddy is running away with the top spot on the Player Rater, and–Well, one of his home runs yesterday went 461 feet and it looked like he was barely swinging. Put that together with a guy who might have 45 steals by the All-Star Break, and we’re looking at a possible 40/70 season. I just nearly fainted. I need to sit down. Sits in a hole labeled “People who faded Acuña in the preseason.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Giants Sauce Things Up By Turning To Matos
June 14, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 277 Commentsby: Grey
Mitch Haniger fractured his forearm on a pitch, which was his most solid hit this year. Giants’ beat reporters are saying Luis Matos is being called up. Luis Matos being called up is fun. I like fun. Transitive! I like Luis Matos. He had hit six homers in the last six MiLB games. Total damage in the minors: 9/15, and he was hitting .396 in Triple-A. Can I get a giddy up, pardner? Itch said two days ago he was on his Prospect Stash List. Itch said previously, after Matos was coming off a disappointing previous year, “The premium bat speed remains. He just needs to develop better plate discipline. He has the hands to make contact with most pitches, so he swings at most pitches. That has to change. Development is not linear. He’s got time, and I might do time if I find where Grey lives.” Okay, honestly, I’m scared. So, I grabbed Matos in my shallowest leagues. He’s got power and speed, and he’s crazy hot. Let’s see how far it takes him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?