ESPN tells me the Yankees and Red Sox seasons are about to begin. I’m gonna infer it’s Opening Day for the entire league since my six month egg timer is buzzing, my closet gimp is mumbling, “Baseball time…Baseball time…” and my desktop widget of Ron Jeremy shooting fireworks over Petco is exploding. At least I […]
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Jason Bay has a strained intercostal, which is the highway that runs along Florida’s coast. Specifically, by Palm Beach where people are old and this strained whatever-the-shizz-is happens. If you were counting on a bounce back from J-Bay, you might want to count to yourself so you don’t annoy your cubicle neighbor. (Neighboricle? Who might’ve […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?From human trafficker to Rangers fifth starter, Alexi Ogando throws gas. (Maybe that’s how he got caught trafficking humans. He was mule-ing a human in his colon and accidentally threw gas. Not sure.) I say, mootie lootie doo to all of that, which means nothing, though it might in another language. Once an outfielder, but […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Maybe the fuel you need to burn the desire deep in your belly to be a better ballplayer comes from a fresh start. Maybe you need people to tell you you can’t do something before you can do something. Maybe this is how Morgan Freeman really talks and not just in voiceovers. Nyjer Morgan is […]
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2011 Rays Fantasy Baseball Preview
March 26, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Team Previews | 179 Commentsby: Grey
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2011 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Best Hitters for April, Fantasy Baseball
March 25, 2011 | 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 112 Commentsby: Grey
These are the leading hitters in the major leagues for April. Do I think every hitter does the same thing every year? No, I don’t. But hitters do tend to follow patterns. If these players were good in April last year, there’s at least a chance they will be good this year. Also, as I […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?As I’ve been saying for the last month, Neftali Feliz will be the closer and he doesn’t have syphilis. Now stop experimenting on him! Feliz shoots all the way back up to the top of the Donkeycorns and can/should/verb be the top closer in the game by the end of the season. This also means […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Straight from Rudy’s risky pitcher post, “Sliders are the most effective pitch one can throw but are worse on the arm than fastballs/changeups. Pitchers who rely on sliders (15+% of pitchers) take this risk if they feel it’s the only way to reach their expected level of success. Young pitchers relying heavily on sliders for […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?We’re gonna try and turn over a new, positive leaf here at Razzball. No longer are we going to sing the blues when one of our favorites doesn’t make the team. We’re gonna emoticon all over your face for someone else. That other person just happens to be the guy replacing Mike Minor in the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Frank Francisco has a sore pectoral, Dotel has a sore hammy, I have a boo-boo on my finger. Who’s going to close for the Jays?! Rauch, and there’s no reason to scream. Brian Wilson lost his Smile and may miss Opening Day. Joe Nathan looks like he’s going to be the closer and also like […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Phillies 2B Goes From Utley To Ugly
March 22, 2011 | 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 100 Commentsby: Grey
A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!” It was totally sad. Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?(The following is an abridged Introduction to my (e)book, Who Is Grey Albright? To purchase, click here. It’s $5. I will be donating a portion to my growing drinking problem. After you buy it, I’ll email you the (e)book.) Introduction An (e)book sounds like something that should be trying to sell you something. That’s not […]
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