by: Grey
“Plug and play. That’s what I say about George Kirby. You plug him in and he plays. Like an Energizer Bunny. There’s no quit there.” This is a tone deaf man explaining George Kirby (3 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.42) while an Energizer Bunny goes back and forth over a grave with a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Junior Caminero was called up. Here’s what I said last year when he was called up: “Vroom, vroom, get in my Caminero!” A guy who is wearing an 18-karat, Italian horn around his neck going over the Brooklyn Bridge. vs. “Vroom, vroom, get in on Junior Caminero!” A guy pushing the glasses back off the bridge […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Byron Buxton (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 15th and 16th homer, hitting .278) went from one of the most exciting players in baseball who couldn’t stay healthy to one of the most boring players who is staying on the field. It must’ve been like, “Hey, I can give you 110%, if percentages went over 100%, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Singing incredibly off-tune, “Oh honey, tramps like us! Baby, we were born to run!” Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you walk in. I put on The Boss when I want clarity. It’s a Jersey thing, you may or may not understand. Born down in a dead man’s town! That’s Anaheim. A dead man’s town. It’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Brewers rang the bell of Ding Dong City and said, “Ding Dong, we’re home. We’re now the Mayors here. Hit the bricks. Yes, we have paperwork to prove it! What do we look like? Squatters?” Then the Brewers pulled out yesterday’s box score and showed them their paperwork for the keys to Ding Dong City. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Look at that mountain Look at those trees Look at that Bum over there, man, did that ex-Giants pitcher retire? Trout’s down due to his knees Look at these Schwarbombin’ There ain’t nothing like ’em nowhere Kyle Schwarber‘s 4 hits (we love it) Kyle Schwarber three dongs (we love it) 25th, 26th and 27th homers (we […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I said something earlier this year about how the only pitchers who would throw a no-hitter still had to keep their pitch counts low. Well, sorta, yeah! I mean, I wasn’t totally doing Ding Dong Theater with myself in the backseat of a Ford Siesta, screaming HONK at an empty driver’s seat. I wasn’t standing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Sean Manaea went 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.30. Also, 10 times in this game I screamed, “Why didn’t I stream him?!” Streamonator sorta likes his next one, and give me all the Manaea streams. Please and mahalo! Know why? Let’s talk recent history. Last two starts […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It’s been said before, but one way to get us to appreciate the Olympics more is to insert one normal person in each event so we can see how much better the Olympians are than the Average Joe. The Pommel Horse Guy looked pretty good, but take an Average Joe out of the crowd and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Googling “What will X give you if X Gon Give It To You,” while carrying a treasure map with an X marked on it, while talking to my cousin Jeffrey on speaker because he uses an X to sign all legal documents while he’s on X, the drug and formerly Twitter. This has been my […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Slather me in Mayo and call me tuna fish! Douse me in Hellmann’s and tell me which circle I’m in! Throw a piece of crumpled paper towards the wastebasket and call me Coby! From your mouth to my ears, please tell me I read correctly that the O’s are calling up Coby Mayo. I did? […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Is it me or can you not hear his last name unless it’s screamed in the sentence, “Someone get me McGreevy!” Meh, maybe it’s me. Yesterday, the Rangers got McGreevied and now they’re McAggrieved. Michael McGreevy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks in his MLB debut. Oh, okay, I see, I need […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?