On July 16th, Padres GM, Kevin Towers, said there’s a 50-50 chance that Jake Peavy would pitch again. Turned out there was a 50-50 chance that he was lying.  On July 16th, Peavy’s boot came off and his ankle is healthy.  Peavy now says he’ll pitch again this year.  Oh, okay.  Peavy is the Padres ace, i.e., they’re not going to mess with bringing him back to make sure they win 60 games instead of 58. Then consider he’s not coming back until September at the earliest, so you’re looking at a guy that might pitch five games.  As my dead, Jewish grandmother would’ve said, big whoop.  I know it sucks you lost Peavy, but now you’re compounding your misfortune by wasting a roster spot on him.  If you don’t have a DL spot for him, give Peavy the boot.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Whitesell – Will be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  I’ll give you a teaser.  Later on today, I’ll say, “Whitesell doesn’t have…”  Ah, what doesn’t he have?  Power?  A middle name?  Feet?  You’ll have to wait to find out.

B.J. Ryan – Signed by the Cubs.  B.J. becomes a LOOGY.  Hmm… That sounds wrong.

Raul Ibanez – 2 HRs in his first two 2nd half ABs.  In my fantasy baseball top 100 for 2009, I pointed out how he’s a 2nd half hitter (#34 for the time-deprived).

Derek Lowe – 6 IP, 3 ER.  It’s little consolation, but he shouldn’t have given up the three 4th inning runs.  Just bad defense.

Rafael Soriano – Save yesterday.  Soriano’s putting together a year like Waking Joey Devine did last year.  In related news, Gonzalez is battling elbow tendinitis.

Oliver Perez – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Could throw 200 scoreless innings and you’d pick him up and he’d give up 8 runs in two-thirds of an inning for the first start with you.  Guaranteed.

Jeff Francoeur – 0-for-4, 1 RBI in his return to Atlanta.  In honor of Frenchy’s return, Chipper swung at a ball in the dirt.

Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  Deja vu?  Nope, deja vs. the Mariners.

Rich Harden – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  Since it took the Nats to bring out Harden’s best start in almost a month, I wouldn’t go as far to say he’s back.

Edwin Encarnacion – HR yesterday.  Now has two homers in his last five games.  Might have 10 more homers in his bat for the rest of the season.  At corner, that’s ownable.

Homer Bailey – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  You trusted him, he shit your house.

Jamie Moyer – 7 IP, 0 ER, only two baserunners.  Considering most of you were in diapers when he started pitching, it’s pretty incredible what he’s doing now that he’s in diapers.

Dallas Braden – 5 IP, 6 ER.  You know when you have two or more mediocre starts going and there’s that one critical start that can make or break your whole staff’s night?  That was Braden on a few teams for me (as I had Wolf, Gaudin, Cook and Wandy also going).  With a good start, I could’ve went to respectability and a low 1 WHIP and a mid-2 ERA.  We might need a glossary term for that critical start.  I’ll open it up to the Razzpound for suggestions.

Ervin Santana – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 1 matchup with the A’s.  There’s worst fliers to take if Ervin’s healthy.  I can’t think of any right now because I’m on some serious cold medicine. (The flu in the summer sucks.  I blame the pierced, Goth kid who sneezed on me at Bruno.  Teach me to leave my office.  Seriously, if I’m dead by Sunday from The Swine, frequent commenter, Mr Baseball, may be doing your roundups.  You’ve been warned.)  I’d pickup Ervin for his next start vs. the Royals, but it’s risky until we see back-to-back quality starts.

Chad Gaudin/Aaron Cook – 11 IP, 2 ER, 16 Ks.  Doesn’t take a ‘pert to tell ya, start anyone in Petco, but Josh Geer.

Ichiro Suzuki – While in St. Louis, Ichiro went to visit the grave of George Sisler, whose single-season hit record Ichiro broke in 2004.  Jose Reyes should go visit the graves of all the fantasy baseball teams he killed this year.

  1. Steve says:

    So I guess you’re saying Volquez is a better use of the DL slot than Peavy in a one-year 12-teamer?

    Gotta hold him in a keeper, though, right?

  2. Steve says:

    Oh – and get well soon. Some chicken soup, maybe?

  3. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Ha! Ollie Perez – Grey, how right you are. Another trap I fall into over and over again. So far, I’m acting with restraint.

    I watched Moyers yesterday. Since he is the only major league within a decade of my age, I have developed a certain fondness for him. When he’s on, he is a study in what we used to call junk pitchers. Guys like me can tell ourselves – “I can do that.”

    Yeah, Bailey shit on my team. Another schmohawk I try over and over again, ever hoping.

    Thanks for the Guadin suggestion.

    For all you Beltran owners:
    “Beltran’s knee hasn’t gotten better: Carlos Beltran’s post-break MRI revealed no change in the size of the bone bruise. He will need more rest and his return is not imminent, according to GM Omar Minaya.” – CBS

    Start Romero vs Bosox?

  4. Steve says:

    @Paulie Allnuts: Saw that Beltran news – it really sucks. I have him on two teams and he’s leaving a big hole.

  5. JRT says:

    Brad, I think it was, thanks for the advice.

    Grey, yesterday, you suggested I drop Bruce instead of DeRosa in a keeper league. I am just curious why. Is it because the wrist will probably carry over until 2011? The most optimistic projections mention things like MVP type player for Bruce. I feel like I have held on this long with him, enduring a .200 ish BA, etc. why cut and run now so someone else can ride his future success. Maybe this is why I have never been that successful in keepers leagues, I get too attached.

  6. Racehorse says:

    Grey, now that Sean Gallagher is headed to Petco…

    – deep keeper league stash worthy?
    – don’t touch him with a 10 foot mallet?

    Whaddya think?

  7. Dexter says:

    Well, Harang was snatched up by someone with higher waiver priority. Is it worth dropping Dempster for de la Rosa? I also have: Gallardo, Hanson, Scherzer, Jurrgens, Liriano, Kuroda and Bailey.

  8. rich c says:

    Sweet, but short, morning roundup Grey.

    Came right to mind when you mentioned the need for a new Razzball term for what Braden did last night.

    staphylococcus [(staf-uh-loh-kok-uhs)]
    A category of bacteria that can cause boils, blood poisoning, and other serious infections.

    Stafflocaca [( staf-lo-ka-ka)] – a pitcher who can act as a boil or poison to your pitching staff’s ratio’s. Side effects: uncontrollable anger and shitting of the bed. Usually occurs on nights when non-infected staff perform above their expectations.

  9. Joe B says:

    Grey… no mention of Wandy shutting down the vaunted Dodgers lineup for six innings AWAY from home no less. I guess you two broke up over the All-Star break… anyways I’ll say it:

    The Wandwagon rides yet again!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!

  10. Frank Rizzo says:

    Holy Crap! A freaking “Can’t Buy Me Love” reference. That’s hilariaous and sad at the same time. Sad maybe because I recognized it. You go Ronald Miller.

  11. Scott says:

    Doesn’t have the word buy in his name but he’s a buy anyway?

  12. AdamH says:

    What do you think about Gordon from here on out?

  13. Marr says:

    Rim Job (noun) –

    Radio version: When a mediocre pitcher’s start is like a basketball circling the rim and could go either way!

    Razzball version: When a pitcher offers the possibility of a good time but ultimately puts your team in a position to be shit on.

  14. tyler says:

    Keep 6 league. My potential keepers are Fielder, Wright, J. Upton, Sabathia, Rollins, Beckett, Wieters, Bruce, Papelbon….I need help at C and CF – trade Bruce for Inge (qualifies at both)?

  15. Mr Baseball says:

    Alex Gordon – he is not flash Gordon savior of your baseball team

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    Flash – a-ah – he’s is not a miracle
    Flash – a-ah – king of medioker

    3rd base is a deep position sure there is lots of medioker here but thats where Alex Gordon fits in at the moment in his career and his upside is the DL list – I am sure in a 12 team league we all a pretty much set at 3rd base – I just don’t think he is good enough to improve anyone’s team to the next level – as a previous Gordon owner I am a Gordon sore loser – do like his fish sticks though – as of picking him up to hang on your bench – if it makes you feel better be my quest

    Evan Longoria
    Mark Reynolds
    Pablo Sandoval
    Ryan Zimmerman
    Kevin Youkilis
    Miguel Cabrera
    Hank Blalock
    Chipper Jones
    Chone Figgins
    Clint Barmes
    Russell Branyan
    Mike Lowell
    Casey Blake
    Jorge Cantú
    Felipe López
    Marco Scutaro
    Mark Teahen
    Aubrey Huff
    Michael Young

  16. ichirosan says:

    Rest of the season, which schmohawk do you like the most on a 20 man league:

    Mark Ellis, Chris Getz, Kaz Matsui or Skip Schumaker?

  17. Mr Baseball says:

    Grey – Edwin Encarnación or Alex Gordon – I tend to lean with the player with the abnormal stress syllable in their name

  18. AdamH says:

    @ Mr. Baseball – That’s a swell list of names. Unfortunately, the only one available in my 12 team league is Teahen (snooze alert). I made the mistake of drafting Atkins, i’ve been riding Kouz for a little while, and I just scooped Gordon to give him a shot. Prefer Teahen and/or Kouz over Gordon?

    PS Ive never been burned by Gordon so I may not have the ill feelings toward him that you do.

  19. Mr Baseball says:

    but you do have ill feeling towards Atkins

  20. AdamH says:

    Haha. I hate him. I don’t know what to do with him.

  21. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Hold in a keeper. Volquez is a better bet, but also not a great bet. Thanks!

    @Paulie Allnuts: I wouldn’t start Romero there.

    @JRT: Glad you asked again. I wouldn’t cut Bruce in a keeper league. My bad.

    @Racehorse: Definitely worth stashing in a deep league.

    @Dexter: Sure, you can make that move.

    @rich c: Hmm, that’s not bad. Right now Rudy’s in an airplane, will need his final say.

    @Joe B: I sorta mentioned him in the Braden one. Wandy are still together and the courtship’s going wonderfully.

    @Frank Rizzo: Hehe

    @Scott: Not bad, but not it.

    @AdamH: He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.

    @Marr: It’s okay, but I like Rich’s better so far.

    @tyler: Sure, if it helps you this year.

    @Mr Baseball: Edwin

    @ichirosan: They give slightly diffferent things — Getz vs. righties for steals, Matsui for steals if hot or Schumaker for average/Runs.

  22. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    @Steve: The Mets continues to play Beltran until it was obvious to everyone that he was hurting badly. They did the same thing with Reyes. After management helps turn a minor injury to a possible season killer, the next step is to lie about the serious nature of the injury, and state that they expect the player back in several weeks. That, my friend, is the Met’s pattern of abuse; and we think that Dusty destroys careers? Meet the Wilpon’s, Minaya, and Manuel. You know; the same crew that paid Castillo like an All-Star, and gave Ollie a contract exceeding 30 million.

  23. Mr Baseball says:

    Stafflocaca [( staf-lo-ka-ka)] – a pitcher who can act as a boil or poison to your pitching staff’s ratio’s. – hey thats Johnny Cueto middle name – rich c

    Johnny Stafflocaca Cueto

  24. In other news: Matt Holliday ended a 33-game, 121-at-bat homerless streak with a solo shot in the seventh inning Thursday… he hit two other balls to the track.

    Positive spin: He’s roping the ball!

    Negative spin: In Colorado, that’s a 3HR night.

    Ironically, if not for the short schedule, Holliday would not have been in my lineup last night. But I’ll take the donk. Now trade that lummox, Beane.

    @JRT: I’m going to guess the thinking is that a) wrist injuries take a long time to recover from, and often the hitter can take a full season post-injury to regain his usual power and b) Bruce showed plenty of holes in his game before the injury. I mean, it’s not like he’s Ryan Braun. He was hitting two hundred something. Add in wrist complications and 2010 seems like a bleak Bruce year at best.

    In short: Bruce is the new Gordon.

  25. CT Old School says:

    You asked for a term to describe a critical start from your #4 or #5 pitcher after the rest of your staff does well. How ’bout a “Staff Inflection”?

  26. AP says:

    Grey-I’ve also been stuck with Atkins.

    How would you rank these three 3B’s? Peralta, Atkins, Encarnacion.

    (I hate 3B)

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @AP: Edwin, Peralta…

  28. Dingo says:

    Gotta love Ichiro. He is one classy dude.

    I just got offered Holy Camels for Brian Fuentes. I’m planning on seeing how Hamels does tonight before I agree to the deal, but is this a no-brainer?

  29. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Dingo: I’d take Hamels there. Even if he was rocked tonight. An injury would be the only thing that would stop me.

  30. Dingo says:

    @Grey: Cool, thanks. I’ll wait to see if he ends up taking a liner in the face before I click the accept button.

  31. Jackie says:

    I need two run producing bats from among: Hafner, Encarnacion, Adam LaRoche, and Alex Gordon. Who do you guys like?

  32. black love says:

    should i drop volstad?

  33. Mr Baseball says:

    All Star Team for players with the abnormal stress syllable in their name

    Iván Rodríguez – catcher
    Carlos Peña -!B
    Robinson Canó – 2B
    Jorge Cantú 3B
    Felipe López – SS
    Raúl Ibañez – OF
    Carlos Beltrán – OF
    Franklin Gutiérrez – OF

    Félix Hernández – SP
    Javier Vázquez – SP
    Joel Piñeiro – SP

    Mike González – RP
    Carlos Mármol – RP

  34. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Jackie: LaRoche, Hafner

    @black love: In 12 team leagues or shallower, sure… If there’s someone worthwhile to grab.

    EDIT: Word.

  35. Ken Plane says:

    Although most of his numbers seem in line except for BB, Chad Billingsley does not look quite right, your take on him slump, injured, or nothing to worry about at this point.

  36. GhostfacePrzybilla says:

    Interesting question for you all…

    12 team, 10 man keeper league. I currently have a surplus of guys I’d consider keeping–plenty to fill the quota. I’m in 5th place at the moment and have a good chance of making a push for the win. Definitely will need help in saves for that to happen.

    Do I conditionally trade Lester and Zobrist (the condition being that I don’t trade them until the season ends) for Hoffman, Gregg, Howell and Aardsma (acquiring them now and for good)?

    I see myself consolidating in the offseason, anyway–probably trading packages of guys like Lester and Zobrist for players higher up on the board, so as to make my 10 stronger. Thoughts?

  37. Based on Cantu’s 2nd half last year and despite the absence of an attractive abnormal stress syllable (although, over the ‘u’ some sort of symbol would not look completely out of place), I am trusting him thus far. So I guess he doesn’t belong in the Edwin, Gordon, Kouz, Teahan, Lowell category…right? If he could be played at UTIL, is he still better than the likes of Stewart, Hafner, Cameron and Burrell?

  38. ScoutAbout says:

    Glad this is the short week, feeling a bit distracted with the British Open. Nice to know I can get the skinny at Razzball every morning. Grey, what do you think about starting Nolasco at home vs. Philly tonight?

  39. Doc says:

    Lugo designated for assignment. Set your lineups accordingly!

  40. Joe C says:

    I like “stafflocaca” too, but I think “rotten apple start” should be considered, as in that old saying “one rotten apple spoils the whole bunch”.

  41. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @ScoutAbout: yeah watching it myself,grey answered earlier that its a risky start but yes if needed.

  42. David Souter says:

    Tim Hudson or Ryan Dempster to stash on my DL in H2H? I don’t really need either one until the playoffs, so I can wait.

  43. BSA says:

    @Doc: Yeah I was thinking of putting the same thing out there and then realized that if someone has Lugo in the lineup they haven’t been paying attention.

    As to the Buchholz/DiceK minor league order of who is coming and who is going.

    DiceK is currently at a February type stage of Spring Training in July so plan accordingly. In short way off—

    Clay is getting the start tonight and they were discussing that this will be the first time for Francona and the pitching coach to see him first hand since Spring Training.

    It was also acknowledged that they are expecting Penny and Smoltz to need some DL time. Not that they are hurt but going on recent histories and acknowledging that the Sawx are trying to keep things fresh for September and October.
    Predictions for Sawx staff in the coming months (at least one DL stint for each of the top five as follows)-
    Beckett – blister
    Wakefield – back spasms
    Lester – dead arm
    Penny – back spasms
    Smoltz – shoulder strain

  44. GTS says:

    some guy offered me V-Mart ($16) for Wieters ($4) – what do I do?

  45. Elbert says:

    DeLaRosa, Gaudin or Volstad for rest of year?

  46. Elbert says:

    @David Souter: don’t forget Shaun Marcum, the lad is due back in august.

  47. BSA says:

    @Doc: Some things you just can’t make up, or can you?

    Doc, finding that article indicates too much time on your hands.

  48. Rick Dempsey says:

    @Grey: With the Peavy situation… what’s the latest point in the season that they can move him? Maybe that would be an incentive to bring him back. Isn’t it like a month after the trade waiver deadline?

    ……Yes this is cognitive dissonance at work by a Peavy owner, give me a ray of light for god’s sake!

  49. DrEasy says:

    @Elbert: Let’s expand that list a bit further, how would you guys rank the following starter schmohawks?

    De La Rosa, Gaudin, Buchholz, Volstadt, Ervin Santana, Kuroda

  50. DrEasy says:

    Oh and one vote for Staff Inflection!

  51. Elbert says:

    @DrEasy: haha, cool list, but only DeLaRosa & Gaudin available in my 16-team H2H league, I have Volstad on the other hand, just looking to add some stability in 7th starter slot.

  52. @grey: the s.drew owner in my league is looking for a position player in return and am determining which if any to offer: Inge, fielder, wright, howard, c. lee, ellsbury, werth, mclouth, fragu, rasmus, garrett jones, ian stewart, kaz matsui, and everth cabrera…

    my offense is tops in the league as is…..would u trade werth or mclouth for drew and slide garrett jones in as a replacement?

    you have werth ranked nearly 40 slots behind mclouth (10sb/10hr not much more projection)….how much worse do you project werth?


  53. @grey: the s.drew owner in my league is looking for a position player in return and am determining which if any to offer: Inge, fielder, wright, howard, c. lee, ellsbury, werth, mclouth, fragu, rasmus, garrett jones, ian stewart, kaz matsui, and everth cabrera…

    my offense is tops in the league as is…..would u trade werth or mclouth for drew and slide garrett jones in as a replacement?

    you have werth ranked nearly 40 slots behind mclouth (10sb/10hr not much more projection)….how much worse do you project werth?


  54. Dingo says:

    @BSA: Except that article was made up.

    Or did I just get fooled by your subtle wit?

  55. ScoutAbout says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Thanks! I missed it. Big surprises this Open–Tiger and Watson. What year is it. If I was just listening to little snippets (Watson tied for the lead) I might think it was one of those shows on the Golf Channel where they replay the great old Opens from 20 or 30 years ago. Pretty amazing.

  56. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @ScoutAbout: shoulda seen daly`s hippy pants,,

  57. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Grey: Would you bounce either of Bruce or Peavy off the DL in order to stash Hudson in a non-keeper league?

  58. Rick Dempsey says:

    @zombie: he’s better than all the 3B’s you mentioned (cantu), just look at his average for june and even going into july. He’s also playing for a contender in the weakest division in the NL. What’s not to like about hitting around mini-dunn and hanley? Even Hermida hits for some descent pop.

  59. royce! says:

    I think I could get Rasmus for Swisher from a Kris Davis owner… should I?

  60. @ R. Dempsey: Cathers make great managers. I appreciate the confirmation. Agreed. Thanks.

  61. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Ken Plane: Slump

    @GhostfacePrzybilla: If saves really push you that far up, sure. But can’t you do less.

    @zombie: Getting to the point where if Cantu doesn’t start hitting soon, he might be replaceable by random hot guy on waivers.
    @ScoutAbout: Sure, but risky.

    @Doc: Thanks for the heads up!

    @David Souter: Dempster

    @GTS: Take V-Mart

    @Elbert: Gaudin, dlR…

    @Rick Dempsey: He can be traded without pitching for the Padres, doesn’t mean his arm and body will suddenly be ready to throw a ball after all the time off he’s had.

    @matthole: Werth is only a hair less than McLouth and can easily out produce him. McLouth’s just a tad safer, so I’d trade Werth first.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I’d lose Bruce for him in a non-keeper.

    @royce!: If he helps you…


  62. Rick Dempsey says:

    @Grey: @zombie: Cantu’s June:OBP/.349 SLG/.451 AVG/.324
    July: OBP/.326 SLG/.439 AVG/.293 ………….People are not getting on base around him and he’s had a lack of pop ever since he got nailed in the wrist.

  63. big o says:

    haren …. 113 pitches after 8 .

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