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After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you drafted. If you went wrong with your 1st baseman, it could kill your season.  Hey, Eric Hosmer, no hard feelings from me.  We are totally fine.  Please enjoy these cyanide pills I made special for you.  If you went right, you might’ve won your league.  To recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

1. Miguel Cabrera – You know that famous picture of Babe Ruth with a crown and a cigar?  That reminds me of Bill Clinton… Oh, and Miguel Cabrera.  It’s funny (which is to say not funny at all), players who seem the least aware of anything are the ones that seem to be the most talented.  It’s idiot savant syndrome and Miggy’s got it spades.  Preseason Rank #1, 2012 Projections:  105/32/115/.325/3, Final Numbers: 109/44/139/.330/4

2. Edwin Encarnacion – I went back and looked at my final fantasy rankings for 2011 and then started playing Final Fantasy and forgot what the hell I was doing.  Then I remembered why I was looking at last year’s rankings.  I was wondering if this Edwin showing was the most out of nowhere 1st baseman season ever.  No, it probably wasn’t.  I’m sure no one saw a 35-year-old Al Oliver coming out of nowhere in 1982, but this is the most out of nowhere 1st baseman season in the last year.  At 29 years old, Edwin surpassed his previous homer career high by his previous season’s home run total…Oh, about 40 more RBIs than his previous career high, almost doubled his previous career high in steals and he officially made Dwayne Murphy the first guy who should be inducted into the Hall of Fame as a hitting coach.  You can sit there, and I am assuming you are sitting, and say that I didn’t come close to predicting his season and then told you to sell him mid-way through this season, but you’re a damn liar if you say you saw this season coming.  Preseason Ranked #21 for 3rd basemen, 2012 Projections:  60/20/70/.255/3, Final Numbers: 93/42/110/.280/13

3. Prince Fielder – It’s the man behind Saberhagenmetrics.  Next year it’s a lock he’s going to hit 40 homers or my name isn’t Grey Pablo Albright.  In the end, he, uh, ended giving more homers than his usual even year down season, but next year you can guarantee 40+ homers.  Preseason Rank #5, 2012 Projections:  100/37/115/.280, Final Numbers:  83/30/108/.313/1

4. Albert Pujols – When was the last time we had anything to say about Pujols in a year end rankings?  Not since his rookie year.  Because never before did he cause any stress.  He used to be your shadow on your ten birthday.  You know, when your shadow was still fun and carrying around your balloons and not complaining about it being cold.  When Pujols had 0 homers and a .217 average at the end of April, did any of us think we’d see Pujols ranked this high at the end of the year?  Ponder that over a nice sifter of flour.  Or snifter of brandy.  I always confuse those two.  Preseason Rank #2, 2012 Projections:  100/35/110/.305/7, Final Numbers:  85/30/105/.285/8

5. Buster Posey – Went over Posey in the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball.

6. Billy Butler – He filled out a C-cup before he filled out as a power-hitting 1st baseman, but he looks like he’s finally there.  At 26 years old, he obviously just hit puberty late like Andy Milonakis.  Preseason Rank #15 1/2 (due to his eligibility he was a half ranking), 2012 Projections:   90/20/100/.300, Final Numbers:  72/29/107/.313/2

7. Joe Mauer – Went over Mauer in the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball.

8. Adam LaRoche – On one hand, it’s surprising I didn’t rank him.  On the other hand, he’s exactly the kind of guy I never draft that Rudy likes — the boring late round draft pick that has no upside and just gives you the usual, solid if unspectacular stats.  On a third hand that is actually a candlestick wearing nail polish, at 32 years old, LaRoche had a near-career year, something no one could have expected.  On a side note, it seems like a theme running through the catchers and 1st basemen is a lot of vets had career years.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  76/33/100/.271/1

9. Paul Goldschmidt – And just as I mention the theme running through the first two recaps, we get a younger player who sorta made good on his promise.  I say sorta because he didn’t show great power, but showed more speed and average.  It was an odd season all around.  AuShizz never had double digit steals in any minor league season, so, of course, he goes steal-crazy.  For those that missed our Steve Garvey interview, Goldschmidt was the one guy Rudy and I agreed on that we are crazy excited about for next year.  Preseason Rank #20, 2012 Projections:   75/27/85/.245/7, Final Numbers:  82/20/82/.286/18

10. Adrian Gonzalez – A really odd season.  His HR/FB% fell off the map, but his ground ball rate went down (not literally) and his fly ball rate went up (literally).  Since when did A-Gon become A-Slap Hitter?  Since this year.  I’m finding it hard to believe at 30 years old, his power is gone.  I’m trying to keep this about last year and not next, but I expect a nice bounce back for A-Gon.*  *At the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charlestown, I took a class by Matthew Berry called “The Least Scientific You Are, The Easier It Is To Go Back On Anything You Say” 101.  So, I may not stick with the A-Gon bounce back when I really examine things in January.  Preseason Rank #6, 2012 Projections:   100/32/115/.275, Final Numbers: 75/18/108/.299/2

11. Adam Dunn – I’m pretty surprised he finished this high in the rankings.  Not just because I didn’t want any part of Dunn in the preseason, convinced he was finished, kaput, Dunn.  I’m surprised even after looking at his season-ending stats.  Even with a terrible 2nd half, Trumbo feels like he was better than him.  Hard to believe Dunn was even better than Konerko, even though the latter took an extended dump for about 3+ months.  This goes more to how poor the 1st basemen were.  If you had Buster Posey and Joe Mauer at catcher and 1st base, you were better off than Paul Konerko and A-Gon.  Wrap your prosciutto around that melon.  Preseason Rank #28, 2012 Projections:  55/22/80/.220, Final Numbers:  87/41/96/.204/2

12. Mark Trumbo – In my projections, I went out of my way to include the plate appearances because I wasn’t sure if he would see the necessary time in the lineup.  An early season hot streak gave Scioscia all the help he needed to get Trumbo in the lineup.  Unfortch, with the 2nd half swoon Trumbo put together, you’re looking at a guy who was tenuous at best and another SAT word at worst for the last few months.  Preseason Rank #19, 2012 Projections:   60/25/75/.260/7 (in 500 PAs), Final Numbers:  66/32/95/.268/4

13. Freddie Freeman – I didn’t like him when I put him in the rankings last year and he did close to what I thought he would, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — there’s no offense anywhere.  Bring back steroids, you Puritanical bastards!  I really thought the only way Freeman could end up in the top 13 overall is if a college board saw his name and gave him an affirmative action boost then he took C. Thomas Howell Soul Man pills.  Preseason Rank #24, 2012 Projections:   60/19/75/.280/3, Final Numbers: 91/23/94/.259/2

14. Paul Konerko – The last time Konerko had a year that was this bad everyone thought it was the end of a fine career.  But also in that year, Grady Sizemore looked like he was going to be a Hall of Famer, so there’s that.  Preseason Rank #7, 2012 Projections:   85/29/100/.290, Final Numbers: 66/26/75/.298

15. Chris Davis – FWIWuertz, and it should be Wuertz something if you’re reading this, Davis was ranked 20th as of mid-September.  Potatoes to chips, the takeaway there is a two good weeks boosted you five spots in 1st basemen rankings.  BTW, I just thought of a good Indian restaurant name, “The World Went And Got Itself In A Big Damn Curry.”  Take it, our one Indian reader.  It’s yours.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  75/33/85/.270/2

16. Ike Davis – Sticking with the Davis theme, Ike was probably one of those guys that gave you fits this year.  If you carried him through his miserable 1st half, there’s a good chance you didn’t like him, even after his respectable 2nd half.  If you dropped him during his tough stretch, there’s an even better chance you hate him.  Preseason Rank #18, 2012 Projections:   85/22/90/.280, Final Numbers: 66/32/90/.227

17. Garrett Jones – Wanna know how weird a year it was for offense?  Look no further.  I mean, look back at Garrett Jones ranked 17th, then continue on otherwise you’re just going to be staring at this one spot until someone tries to stick smelling salts under your nose or admit you to De Niro’s hospital from Awakenings.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  68/27/86/.274/2

18. Mark Teixeira – In the preseason, I told you Mark Teixeira was overrated.  I had no clue he would go out and have this awful of a year.  Him and A-Gon combined for the same amount of homers as Edwin Encarnacion.  Now I feel like Marvin in Pulp Fiction cause my mind’s blown.  Preseason Rank #6, 2012 Projections:   100/35/110/.260, Final Numbers: 66/24/84/.251/2

19. Kendrys Morales – Ding, ding, ding!  Morales wins the award for closest to my preseason projections and rankings.  For this I win nothing, but lost something when I was wrong about Hosmer.  Preseason Rank #21, 2012 Projections:   65/22/75/.290, Final Numbers:  61/22/73/.273

20. Joey Votto – He had zero post-All-Star Break homers.  That’s zilch, nada, bupkis.  Sure, we can write that off as he had knee surgery, but don’t even make me pop a boner over here telling you who also had knee surgery in the middle of the year and hit more than zero homers.  Preseason Rank #3, 2012 Projections:  100/30/110/.315/10, Final Numbers: 59/14/56/.337/5