Dustin Ackley was recalled (don’t ask why it’s recalled and not called up, baseball’s arcane at times). Here’s what I said when he was about to get the call a little under a month ago, “Guess what ya’ll we’re gonna talk about the Mariners! Snooze. But we’re talking about the top Mariners prospect! Yawn. But it’s Dustin Ackley and he hit 5 homers and stole 2 bases in Triple-A last year over 237 plate appearances! Burp. So far this year, he’s been better with power and speed — 9 homers and 6 steals through 64 games (updated!).” And that’s me quoting and updating me! Because his home park ends in -co — Petco, Safeco, Metco — his power may take a bit of a hit. His speed isn’t gazelle-like. (Gazellian?) But, at middle infidel, you take the flyer to see what he can do. It’s a MILF (Middle Infielder I’d Like to take a Flyer on). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Albert Pujols – One start away from gaining 3rd base eligibility. Before the game, La Russa said, “I know I Mr. Bungled the closer situation for a few weeks earlier this year, so here’s a bone for fantasy owners.” In other La Russa news, Razzball has an exclusive! We’ve obtained a never before seen picture of Smurfette giving birth to Tony La Russa.
Allen Craig – Could miss up to 6 weeks while he’s mourning his small fracture in his kneecap n’ crunch.
Travis Wood – 6 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners (5 BBs), 2 Ks. It’s always frustrating when a pitcher you want to believe in does well as far as earned runs go, but walks too many guys to get excited about.
Scott Rolen – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs, now has 6 RBIs in the last 4 games. Is there a more useless stat? I’m surprised the saber-community hasn’t become more diligent about finding a better stat… Though maybe they have, I’m not at the forefront of the saber-movement. “Hey, why is it an Inverted W? Why not just call it an M?” That’s me opening for Rob Neyer in concert.
Kyle Kendrick – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. I wouldn’t pick him up with your team.
Jhoulys Chacin – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. I loved Jhoulys in the preseason — So Fresh, So Chacin, ha! I crack myself up sometimes. I have two regrets, wish I would’ve pushed him even harder on youse and I wish I owned him in every league.
Charlie Blackmon – 3-for-4 with his 5th steal in 5 games. If you’re not giddy to grab him, we’ll never see eye to eye. Go read Fantasy (insert a synonym for smart) dot com.
Ricky Romero – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks. Now you can’t blame me if you don’t own him. Here’s what I said in the preseason, “Let’s count the ways we love Ricky Romero, shall we? 7 ways! Okay, maybe I should count them out loud. 1) Will only be 26 years old. 2) Will be entering his third big league season, a time when pitchers tend to hit their stride. 3) His K-rate was 7 and half and can get better. 4) He cut his walks last year. 5) Golden rings. 6) Pitches in the AL East… Hmm… That’s not a positive. 7) There was really only 4 reasons that I stretched out to 7. 2011 Projections: 13-6/3.65/1.30/180” And that’s me quoting me!
Frank Francisco – Got the save yesterday, but Rauch was unavailable after pitching 2 innings on Tuesday. I think Rauch or Francisco could get the next save. Hello, wishy, meet my friend washy.
Adam Lind – 2-for-3 with his 13th home run. Now has homers in back-to-back games and is hitting .337 on the year. Glad to see Lind’s 2009 wasn’t hanging out with and getting influenced by Aaron Hill’s 2009.
Chad Billingsley – 4 IP, 7 ER, 13 baserunners, 3 Ks. Only thing he could do worse is if he changed his name to Chazz. (BTW, we need a writer for Razzball who goes by the name Chazz. I don’t care about your writing style or references. In your profile pic, I want to see an Izod shirt, a sweater wrapped around your shoulders and a tennis racket. That’s all I care about. And maybe some anecdotes that involve your mumsy and pawpaw.) No one wants Bills on their team if they own him, and I understand it. Would I drop him? Well, it’s not like he’s that good when he’s good, right? Actually, his post-All-Star Break ERA last year was 3.00 and he had a 2.79 in July. His June ERA last year was 6.11. It’s June Gloom, ya’ll. Also, his xFIP is decent and his K-rate is nice. I wouldn’t go out and trade for him, but I would pick him up off waivers in some leagues and bench him if I had room. I wouldn’t drop him in most leagues either, I’d just bench him.
Tsuyoshi Nishioka – Was activated from the DL. Nishioka, or Japanese Hazelnut as Rudy likes to call him because his last name slightly resembles the name for hazelnut gelato, should be grabbed in most mixed leagues. Really, what else you got at MI? Yeah, thought so.
Nick Markakis – 1-for-2 with a run. For him, big game. All kidding aside, what happened to this young brother? Someone spray Windex on his bat or something.
Mike Morse – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and 2 home runs. The Morse God of Fantasy!
Danny Espinosa – 2-for-4 with his 11th home run to go along with his 6 steals. I realize his average looks like Metamucil vomit, but I still find it hard to believe he isn’t owned everywhere.
Livan Hernandez – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. He’s a Latin 36 and pushing 250 lbs of pure blubber. He probably can’t run a quarter mile. His fastball is slower than some pitches you’d see from Jim Kaat at the Minnesota Twins Fantasy Camp. Yet, his ERA is 3.77. For me, this alone is reason enough to love baseball.
Gaby Sanchez – Hit his 12th home run, and is batting .310. I’ll admit to underestimating his power. Between dropping Anibal in one league after his first bad start and Gaby, the Florida Sanchii have confused me.
Ryan Madson – Won his third game, has 15 saves and ERA is 2.10. One of our teams is doing great. On that team, we have Madson, Venters and Storen as our relievers. Three total draft flyers. Really goes to the sentiment of SAGNOF.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 1-for-5 and is cooling off in a big way. Keep in mind I told you to sell him two weeks ago. I will mention that again in two weeks if he stays cold. I will not mention it if he starts hitting again.
Eduardo Nunez – 2-for-4 with a home run and two steals. While Jeter rents Friday Nights Lights with Minka so he can praise her acting, Nunez is manning short. Speaking of short, he won’t have value for long, but he can be a decent stopgap at MI. He has mostly speed, but, as he showed, there’s a bit of power.
Mark Teixeira – 3-for-5 with 2 home runs. One for each oddly placed I in his name. He now has 21 homers on the year. Imagine if Te(i)x actually gets hot in the 2nd half.
Alcides Escobar – 3-for-3 with his third game in a row with a steal. He also has multiple hit games in five straight and has raised his batting average almost 30 points this month. You say potato, I say hot schmotato.
Jeff Baker – Homered yesterday. With the Purple Evolutionist out, we added Baker to a bunch of deeper league teams. The Cubs are batting him third (vs. lefties). Though he might not play vs. righties.
Josh Beckett – One hit shutout of the Rays with 6 Ks. Only hit was an infield single. Yeah, Beckett’s having a nice season. I said he was a great buy…last year when he was worse than dog balls, but I was time traveling and I thought it was 2011. Oh, well. Can’t win them all. Maybe I should do steroids, is that legal for fantasy baseball bloggers?
Andrew Miller – Will be promoted by the Sawx to start against the Padres next Monday. Terry Francona said, “Obviously, [Miller] is a huge part of our organization, and it’s going to stay that way. He’s not going anywhere.” Huge? Sure, Francona. And Marco Scutaro is really the lynchpin to your title hopes and you built the team squarely around the talents of Bobby Jenks. Honestly, does my opinion of Miller matter for this matchup vs. the Padres? I don’t think so. If you really want to know, he’s been underachieving for years. He’s been good this year in Pawtucket, but he’s been good in the minor leagues before. I could see taking the flyer and then reevaluating after the Padres start, which is probably what the Sawx will be doing too.
Justin Morneau – To the DL. The only way he’s hitting an upper decker this year is if he craps in the toilet tank.